Mystery Science Theater 3000

Crow: (seeing Bob and Prof. Erling in their radiation suits) Bob Mackie's Ku Kluk Klan.

(Bob and Claire kiss, scene cuts to Angelo, then back to Claire getting dressed) Crow: Oh, no, no, no, what are they implying here? Tom: They are implying poom! (cut to Bob in the hall) Mike: This is so upsetting! Tom: Oh-ho, no! (Bob skips) Crow: Now, please don't do that...sir! (cut to blood on floor) Tom: Oh, and he's leaking! Uh-huh! Mike: (as Bob looks down) Nothing, no reaction, don't react, no acting... Crow: Well, if I follow the gravy, I'll find the meat.

Claire: I thought scientists were great explorers of the unknown. Bob: I'll do my exploring in the laboratory, if you don't mind. Tom: I get my kicks above the waistline, Sunshine.

Bob: (reading the letter) 'Proof that I am not insane.' Crow: That's what I need!

Mike: (describing the fight) The epic battle between moist and moister.

Crow: Treasures from the future, in about an hour.

(as Bob finds the dead cat) Mike: They whacked Toonces! Crow: Well, he killed a made canary, so they had to do him.

Victor: I never pretended to be a scientist. Tom: Or an actor.

Mike: Are you ready for terrorrrrrrrrrrr?!?!?!?!

(over a shot of clouds) Crow: Stay off the moors! Mike: Dudley, Roger and Mary Tyler Moores.

Bob: There's a lot going on here I don't understand! Tom: Like why you can't eat three pretzel rods in a minute!

(describing Bob) Crow: He's a drill sargeant-curator. Mike: He's made entirely of baby's bottoms.

(describing Victor) Mike: His human body is 70% mucus. Crow: He looks like a walking butter sculpture, don't you think?

Crow: (as Bob gets out of bed) You know, grown men just should not wear official pajama outfits.

(Victor replaces some broken glass in the time machine as music swells) Crow: (melodramatically) Oh, my God, could it be? Yes, he had an extra pane of glass!!!!!!! Oh, God! (Tom exclaims with him)

Tom: (during the car chase) Terror from the year 5000 turned out to be a Ford with bad brakes.

Crow: Let's chip in and buy this movie a life!

Crow: It's not a good movie, but there plenty of off-street parking.

Crow: (seeing one person getting off a plane) Ladies and gentlemen, The Beatle!

Tom: Remember, when making a dramatic film, be sure to use genuine actors.

Bob: That statue was made in the year 5200 A. D. Crow: (singing) If man is still a-flee!

Tom: (as Bob has his head on his desk) Dr. Robert Hedges died today from haircut injuries sustained from a severe flat top.