Mystery Science Theater 3000

Reverend: Joe had to stop by to see Helen. There was something he'd forgotten to give her last night. Crow: A taste of the spoiler.

Reverend: There's another story behind most accidents... Tom: Communism!

Tom: (over a closeup of the reverend) I'm bigger than Jesus.

Mike: (seeing the church choir at the beginning of the short) It's Up With Brakemen.

Crow: Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of heavy water!

Mike: (as Krenner, describing Julian) My own personal McCloud.

Crow: (hearing another ping) Well, either he's invisible or the rice is done.

Mike: (describing Laura) She's very Olivia de Haviland.

Tom: (describing Dr. Ulof) Oliver Reed looks better than usual.

Crow: (as Faust is made invisible for the first time) He disappeared with an audible ping. He's going to notions!

(as Julian sees Faust asleep) Mike: (humming a lullaby) Crow: St. Joseph's Aspirin for gangsters.

Frank: (upon learning that "Squanto" is no longer playing at the movies) Squantoooooooooooo!!!!!!!!

Crow: (describing Laura) Hayley Mills in The Amazing Trans-Parent Trap.

Mike: (as the movie's title appears) Am I that amazingly transparent?

Reverend: Nobody was going to say George Price gave up on the job. Tom: George Price gave up on the job! There, I said it.