Mystery Science Theater 3000

Tom: He can't decide if he's a creeper, a peeper, a stalker, a walker, a backbreaker... Crow: In today's job market, you can't afford not to diversify.

(over a closeup of the Creeper) Crow: Hey fella, why the long face? Mike: Now, come on... Crow: (laughing) I'm sorry, I couldn't... Mike: I begged you not to do that! Crow: I know... Tom: That hurts.

Mike: (at the end of the movie) A Producers Releasing Corporation reminding you: Don't fear the Creeper.

Crow: (as the Creeper creeps up on Helen) She can't resist the great smell of Brute Man!

Capt. Donnelly: Murder, at wholesale. Crow: Good prices on murder.

Crow: (as the Creeper reads the newspaper) You know, none of this wouldn't have happened if chemistry weren't required.

Crow: (as the Creeper climbs a fire escape) Ladies and gentlemen, in the center ring, the Creeper will now attempt the high thing!

Crow: (as the Creeper enters a house) You know, a creeper with decent manners would have phoned ahead.

Mike: (as Hal and Clifford fight) Kiss me you brute... man!

Tom: (as the Creeper creeps up some stairs) Rocks move faster than this guy!

Mike: (as the Creeper is creeping around a house) I don't just want to be known as a creeper, I want to be known as The Creeper!

Mike: (as the Creeper goes to see Helen) You know, the world sure was dingy back then.

Clifford: He was the athlete and I was the scholar. Crow: Let's make lots of money!

Tom: (as the police commissioner and mayor's secretary leave) That was a long, dull scene, congratulations.

Crow: (singing, as Capt. Donnelly appears) How are things in Homicide?!?!?!

Crow: (as the grocer reads a grocery note) The Brute has nice fourth grade cursive. Tom: Signed, Not the Brute.

Cop: Calling all cars. Tom: That's a lot of cars.

Mike: (as the title appears) Hey, what's this movie called, man? Tom: It's called The Brute, Man! Crow: Et tu, brute man?

Narrator: This is a good place to point out a few facts about eggs. Mike: Stop throwing them at my car!

Narrator: (as the chicks are transported) Wait a minute, you may be saying... Crow: Why am I watching this?

Mike: (as a bunch of chicks are thrown into a box) 40 piece chicken nuggets to go!

(seeing a headline: 'Philanthropist Laid To Rest') Tom: Ah, philanthropist laid. It's always the philanthropist. Rock stars and philanthropists.

Crow: (describing the Creeper) He's Big Head Todd and The Monster.

Mike: They forgot my Fruit Brute Cereal!

Crow: Well, he's had several injuries that don't really help his chances with women at all!

Tom: Well, it looks like the Creeper is back in the game, let's see what he can do with that new plastic groin.