Mystery Science Theater 3000

Tom: (over the music in the closing movie credits) Well, they stole this music from black people, but black people were gonna throw it away anyway.

(as Tina dances) Tom: She's bliding him with the glare from her midriff. Mike: (in Captain Ahab voice) Arrgh, it's the belly of the great white girl!

Crow: (as one of the men dancing on the beach) Look at me, I am so Twyla Tharp!

Tom: The Del-Aires later successfully broke up and went to junior college.

Crow: (seeing bubbling in the water) Bass down there needs Beano real bad.

Tom: (as one of the drunks) I just thought all-nude was a dress code.

Mike: The director boldly mixes tedium with unscarediness.

Tom: (during the dance) So, your parents were born when they were young.

Crow: (as Hank and Elaine just stare at each other) Ah, the sweeping majesty of white Republican love.

Del-Aires: (singing) You are not a summer love... Crow: You are a summer sausage.

Crow: First you deny the grief, then party!

Elaine: There's no such thing as voodoo. Tom: Yeah, ask any Haitian.

Crow: The movie's unflinching look at women from Noo Yawk is its best feature.

Tom: (as the monsters attack the three girls) The Day The Mudskippers Fought Back.

Crow: (describing the three girls from New York) So this is the touring company of Come Back To The Five and Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean.

(as the monsters attack the slumber party) Mike: They don't even know what panties are, yet they feel compelled to raid. Crow: Every male of any species has the biological urge to panty raid.

Mike: (as the girls sing at the slumber party) Never invite Janis Ian to your slumber party.

Crow: (describing the slumber party) They've only been together a couple of hours, but they're already on the same cycle.

Eulabelle: It's a human thing, Dr. Gavin. Crow: You wouldn't understand.

Crow: (hearing a scream on the beach) It's Chris Farley in a thong!

Tom: (describing the Del-Aires) Ladies and gentlemen, Scott Scrawny and the Hard Gainers!

(after seeing Mike in his bathing suit) Tom: We'll be right back, everybody! Crow: Part of me won't be back...part of me is gone forever!

Tom: (describing one of the dancers on the beach) A sexy Romulan girl!

Crow: Hold on, let me toss a gay man at you...

Tom: (as the leader of the gang, in Johnny Mathis voice) Chances are, that I'll kick your scrawny ass...

Tom: (when the creature first surfaces) So, radiation has a sense of humor!

Crow: (as the gang leader cuddles Tina) Dondi is quite the stud.

Mike: (as the dancers wave) Goodbye, friendly thin men!

Mike: (describing the motorcycle gang) Johnny Mathis and the Conan O'Briens.

Tom: (describing the Del-Aires) The Velvet Underground hadn't found it's edge yet.

Crow: Men should not have bikini areas!

Mike: Most radiation's harmful eventually, but ours does massive damage in a matter of seconds.

Crow: (as a skull gets radiated) Great, I'm dead, and I'm breaking out!

Tina: (to Hank) We're not even talking the same language anymore. Mike: I speak Esperanto these days.

Tom: (as a speedometer appears) Those are dog miles, it's not that fast.