Movie Plot: The Killer Shrews Some scientists on an island accidentally create giant poisonous shrews.
Also riffed was the short: Junior Rodeo Daredevils.
Intro: Joel gives gifts to the 'bots. Gyspy receives a Love's Baby Soft Bath Kit. Tom gets a dragster with a tape deck. Crow recieves a pair of dress slacks, which he is not enthusiastic about.
Segment One: Tom tries to comfort Crow, but he drives off in his car. The Mads have a missle ready to split the Earth in two, but they don't have much to gain from using it. Joel invents Jim Henson's Edgar Winter Babies.
Segment Two: Joel tries to impersonate Will Rogers. He has Crow dress up like a steer and Tom as a cactus; however he gets too much into it and ties up Crow.
Segment Three: Servo and Crow create a Killer Shrews board game. No one moves. They break down and Joel comforts them.
Segment Four: Joel and The Mads try a drink that Servo and Crow came up called the Killer Shrew. It makes Joel collapse and Frank go crazy.
Segment Five: The 'bots dress up as killer shrews and attack Joel as he reads a viewer's letter. Frank has drank too much Killer Shrew and Dr. Forrester gives him an ipecac.
Stinger: Dr. Craigis tries to explain the experiment to Thorne.
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Crow T. Robot & Dr. Clayton Forrester
Crow wore his pants that he got from Joel throughout the host segments. He would wear them in other episodes, most notably when he was in therapy at the beginning of Bloodlust. He also wore them while he rode in Tom's car when they threw an omelet at Mike during High School Big Shot. During The Skydivers, he built his own car, saying 'No one had to buy me a car!' Unfortunately, Tom shot it while flying.
Recipe for a KILLER SHREW*
1 scoop Chocolate Ice Cream
1 cup Cap'n Crunch w/ Crunchberries
1 handful Peanut M&Ms
¼ cup Mrs. Butterworth
2 Circus Peanuts
2 cups Mr. Pibb
5 Marshmallow Peeps
1 bag Sweet Tarts
1 Large Teaspoon Vanilla Frosting
1 handful Good 'n Plenties
DIRECTIONS: Mix in Blender for 5 seconds. Pour into a plastic tulip glass; garnish with a wind up shrew, and serve. (Note: add a pair of wax lips for a Vulcan Mind Probe).
*Best served with an ipecac chaser.
(Playing the makeshift board game based on the movie)
Crow: I'm the girl, so I'll just move one piece... wanna move it for...?
Crow: Okay. Ah, you see, it's glued down. And you can't move it. It's just like the movie! Nobody moves! Hahaha! In fact nobody moves at all! For over forty-five minutes! Haha! It...it's enough to numb your brain. They sit and talk, and nothin' happens and, and then - cripes, Frank Cannon has more action than this!
Crow: You think something might happen and your spirit soars but, but all that happens is the blonde girl changes, and she's not even that cute, and the German guy mumbles and suddenly the Captain, (Tom starts crying)and everyone just drinks more and... and then they're only thinking of kissing, and they keep feeling and then I... can't... can't tell... what they're saying! (bursts into tears)
Tom: (as giant shrews attack) Oh, puppy!
Crow: (as Thorne kicks and punches Jerry) That must be how Festus got his voice and his limp.
Tom: (over a shot of the dead shrew outside) Now, wait, here's a trick I taught him: Stay, rot, good boy!
(as Thorne and Mario search for the shrews)
Crow: This is just like Aliens, except without the underwear.
Tom: Oh. I like the underwear.
Crow: (seeing that the 'giant shrews' are actually dogs wearing shrew costumes) When Bad Dogs Happen To Good People.
Jerry: Sure, I'll go.
Crow: If I die, it'll be a boon to the movie.
Thorne: Here's another possibility, Doctor.
Tom: Gin omelets.
Bradford: Hemotoxic syndrome.
Tom: Sounds like a Ludlum book.
Thorne: I'll take a dull alive woman every time.
Tom: I guess the other way would be kinda sick, wouldn't it?
(after Mario dies)
Thorne: (to Ann) Brooding about it won't do any good.
Crow: But breeding will.
Dr. Craigis: They are mutants.
Crow: Ted Nu...gents.
Joel: Oh, wow, that's a stretch.
Crow (imitating Frank Zappa as a shrew bites): Weasels ripped my flesh!
Jerry: (drunkenly, to Mario) 'M going to trust you...
Tom: (drunkenly) To tell me when I've had enough.
Bradford: Very soon, right here on this island...
Crow: Appearing will be Don Ho!
Thorne: Light all the candles you can find.
Crow: And curse the darkness.
Dr Craigis: Miles of open water in any direction.
Joel: Miles O'Keefe in every direction.
Dr. Craigis: This island is their world.
Tom: And welcome to it.
Ann: (to Thorne) Do you believe in fairy tales?
Crow: Does it got elves in it?
Crow: (as Griswold is in a tree) Meanwhile, back at the branch...
Dr. Craigis: Some call them bone eaters.
Tom: I call them Cheddarwurst.
Joel (describing Dr. Craigis): This guy makes Al Lewis look handsome.
Thorne: I'd advise you to get some doors and windows open in this place.
Crow: Yes, Mr. Ventilation!
Dr Craigis: (to Thorne) This is my daughter, Ann Craigis.
Crow: So, hands off!
(as Dr. Craigis, Ann and Jerry approach Thorne and Griswold)
Thorne: That's a rather strange set up, wouldn't you say?
Tom: Yeah, but the punch line makes it work.
Narrator: There were reports of a new species.
Joel: A fun species.
(at the start of the movie)
Narrator: The wildest and most vicious of all animals...
Joel: Are in Vegas?
Narrator: We sure had us a junior rodeo.
Crow: Next week, geriatric rodeo.
Narrator: Clyde sits him like he was glued to the saddle.
Crow: I am!!!!
Joel: (as a bronco rider starts) Oh, no, oh no, this is wrong. I signed up for debate!
Narrator: Kind of tall for a calf rider.
Crow: (as she falls off) Not anymore.
Narrator: Junior Rodeo Daredevils.
Joel: Smothered in gravy, Texas style!
This episode is available on DVD from Rhino Home Video as disc four of The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection Volume 7. However, in the initial run of it, about 45 seconds of the beginning of the movie is cut, the narration setting up the movie's premise.
When a horse whinnies and Crow quips "Did someone say 'Frau Blucher'?" he is referencing the 1974 comedy film in which horses cry whenever Frau Blucher's name is spoken.
Describing Dr. Craigis, Joel said, 'This guy makes Al Lewis look handsome.' Al Lewis was best known as Grandpa on The Munsters.
Crow said, 'Tell me of your homeworld, Usul.' This was taken from Frank Hurbert's novel Dune when Chani asks Paul Atreides, 'Tell me about the waters of your homeworld, Usul.'
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