Mystery Science Theater 3000

Garvey: We're safe as long as we stay away from the river's edge. Tom: That Crispin Glover is creepy.

Tom: (as Garvey throws the dynamite) Typical British reaction, throw dynamite at the problem.

Mike: (as the natives remove Paul's body) So long, mincing man-pig character, you were enjoyed!

Mike: (as he leaves the theater) Good night, everyone. Old women are evil!

Mike: (over the last shot of June) Old Hickory is dead.

Crow: (as June hunts for a new victim) It's so upsetting to see your grandma trolling.

(as Sally stands up) Tom: Now she juts. Mike: She enters a room before she does.

Mike: It's so weird, they portray all men as dumb and driven only by sex...hey!

Young Nalla: This night is yours. Crow: Go rock someone's world. Young Nalla: The coming day brings you death. Enjoy it well, both of you. Mike: Enjoy death?

Young Nalla: Your youth will not last long. Do not waste it. Mike: Go get yourself some nasty.

Mike: (as Old Nalla reaches for the naipe) A woman made entirely of gravy skin.

(during Old Nalla's speech) Mike: Shut up and get young! Tom: Sum up!

(as the prisoners are led out of their tent) Tom: Ricker-racker, firecracker, sis boom bah! Bugs Bunny, Bugs Bunny, rah, rah, rah!

Crow: Miss Jane Pittman and Mr. George Clinton were wed today in a traditional African/Polynesian/Nando ceremony.

Crow: (as a lion comes into camp) Um, hakuna matata?

(as the Nandos play drums) Crow: (singing) Have you heard the drums, you Nando?

Crow: Still, this is better than Congo.

Crow: (as Old June) Our drink special tonight is: You stand by me and I breathe!

(describing Old Nalla) Mike: Eubie Blake! Crow: Otis Nixon's twin sister.

Mike: (as Old June takes a drink) I'd like to announce the engagement of me and Johnnie Walker.

(seeing the background of the opening credits) Crow: It's a Rorschach test. Mike: I see a lot of spilled ink congealing in random patterns. Tom: That means you're a sexual predator...I think.

Mike: (seeing the movie title) The Sean Young saga!

(commenting on young June's dress) Tom: I can see myself in her butt. Crow: You can see yourself in anyone's butt.

June: Give me the leather pouch. Crow: You are a leather pouch!

Crow (during a lengthy scene of just the jungle): It's not stock footage, it's more like stock mileage at this point.

Mike: Wouldn't it be great if you were kidnapped by an African tribe and they brought beer? Really good beer?

Mike: (during the native dance) Paul Simon's backyard barbecues are getting out of hand.

Mike: I guess Nalla is Nando for 'rawhide chew.'

Mike: (during a non-passionate hug) I'm burning with tentativeness.

(June runs away) Crow: (after the natives speak) Translated, means, 'Can't run from ugly.'

Crow: You know, these Africans just don't understand Africa.

Tom: Out Of Africa. Mike: No, there's more in the trunk.

(in Garvey's house) Mike: (seeing a small pair of antlers on the wall) Look on the wall, did he bag the Grinch's dog? Tom: Max!

Paul: Old women always give me the creeps. Mike: Except for Carol Channing.

Tom: (several times) Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed!