Mystery Science Theater 3000

Dr. Hill: Shouldn't we be out looking for him? Tom: No, because that would be doing something!

Mike: (describing Dr. Mitchel's car) That's a British sport ute.

Mike: (as Blanchard opens the boot of his car, speaking as Latham) You could have told me about your stinky gym bag back here!

Mike: (after Dr. Steiner disappears) You know, at this point, I really have to agree with cutting off the funding.

Crow: (describing Dr. Mitchel) The Right Honorable Sir David Cassidy.

Tom: (seeing Dr. Hill as she looks for Dr. Steiner) High Plains Matron.

Mike: (as Blanchard answers the phone in his office) The 'will he get to the phone' scene... 20 minutes of pure terror!

Tom: How do you lose a whole naked woman? Mike: Oh, I've done it many times.

Crow (seeing Sheila in her bra) I declare this movie suddenly great!

Mike: (over a shot of Steiner's deformed face) He should have never played golf with Gerald Ford.

Crow: (seeing a gate) It's the border between East and West England.

Crow: (describing Latham) Kind of a combination Buddy Sorrell/Bilbo Baggins.

Crow: (seeing a sign saying 'Mortuary') Ah, the movie finally admits it's dead.

Tom: (seeing a policeman smoking) Legalize it, then. Righto.

Crow: (as a large reel-to-reel tape machine is shown) My Uriah Heep compilation tape is almost done.

Mike: You know, even when stuff's happening in this movie, stuff doesn't happen.

Steiner: (to Sheila) When I raise my hand... Tom: Panic!

Tom: They're using guinea pigs as guinea pigs!

Mike: (with a British accent) Don't make me go to the larder and unseal a tin of whoop-ass.