After a while of laziness I decided it was time to review MST3K episodes. And since the show is known for making fun -or riffing- B-movies, I've come up with something that I've never did in any of my reviews. It's a little movie guide and it starts now.
(25's note: This is a word parody of a 2004 mini-documentary. Some lines are not my original work and they're original works of Passport. Apologizes.)
Some movies are so bad, there're good, and there're some movies that are so bad... there're just bad. REAL bad! The worst ever made! And by my last count there were 50 of them. These truly are the 50 worst movies ever made by human hands. From guys in gorilla suits to dead skulls to idiotic knights. There are some you probably seen, some you can't believe you've seen, and many you don't ever want to see again! But there're all here from worst to SMITS-awful! So sit back and lower your standers because here are Lazlo25's 50 Worst Movies Ever Made!
[#50]
Starting the list is a film that was not only written and directed by the blockhead known as Coleman Francis, but a film he appeared in as the Spectator! But he wasn't credited as his own role. With little sex, too much coffee, dopey editing, and laughable acting, this gem is begging for an apocalypse. From 1963, The Skydivers!
Let's hualt the doc and talk about the short featured in this episode. Why Study Industrial Arts? is a Herk Harvey educational film about a high school teen who learns more about industrial arts. Wow, the shop class stuff is boring.
On to the review of the episode. Both the movie and short were dry, but riffing was so funny. M&TB did a sharp job of taking care of ol' shop class, which is my favorite short of Season 6 by the way, and shredding the fearless skydivers. The best bits were the coffee jokes, and Petty the Plane! The host segments are hit and miss (liked the Tom's galaxy and swing contest but little else), but the gut busting riffing makes this episode worthwhile.
A+moreless
Episode Summary
EDIT
Movie Plot: The Skydivers A skydiving school is the central point in a movie about a bunch of people cheating on each other. Also riffed was the short: "Why StudyIndustrial Arts?". Intro: The Tom Star-Show takes us through the universe, but Crow only wants to go to Uranus. Segment One: Mike and the 'bots compete against the Mads in Swing Choir. Dr. Forrester wins, according to himself, because he is the judge. Segment Two: Mike teaches a shop class for the bots. Servo can't do anything because his arms don't work, and Crow cuts himself in half. Segment Three: Crow pulls a prank on himself, doing a double jock lock just to see if he can get out of it. He can't before movie sign. Segment Four: Crow finally gets a car, but Servo shoots it up. Segment Five: Crow and Servo get stuck in parachutes. Mike reads some letters and does some swing choir. Dr. Forrester throws balls at Frank because he's a wuss. Stinger: Pete says, "I dunno, I feel real free up there in that high, blue sky."moreless
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Trace Beaulieu
Crow T. Robot [0-7] & Dr. Clayton Forrester [0-7]
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Michael J. Nelson
Mike Nelson [5-10]
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Kevin Murphy
Tom Servo [2-10], Professor Bobo [8-10] & Cambot
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Jim Mallon
Gypsy [1-8]
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Frank Conniff
TV's Frank [2-6]
Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions
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TRIVIA (0)
ADD TRIVIA- ADD TRIVIA from this episode.
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QUOTES (35)
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Crow: (as Suzy and Frankie are being chased) Instead of The French Connection, they based this chase on The French Lieutenant's Woman.
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Suzy: Well, Frankie...are you a chicken? Mike: Oh, let's see...am i a chicken? Well, I don't have a comb, or a gizzard, but sometimes I do ingest gravel to grind my food, and I...
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Crow: (describing Frankie) He's like an idiot savant--minus the savant.
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Mike: (describing Beth) I predict in the climactic finale, she jumps without a chute and then her hair opens up.
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(the mailman drives with his dog out the window) Crow: Hey, Benji got an Oldsmobile! Tom: He's riding with FDR! Mike: Dog days at Campobello.
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Crow: Someone with attention deficit disorder edited this film.
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Tom: There is no landscape bleaker than that of the rural airport.
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Mike: (as Pete gets on the wing to jump) Well, sorry, they overbooked the flight. You'll get a free ticket when you hit the ground. So long.
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Crow: What's the point of a helmet in skydiving, in case you land on your head?
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Mike: (as the skydivers walk toward the plane) This isn't The Right Stuff, it's just some stuff.
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Crow: Filmed in Despair-Vision.
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Crow: (as the movie ends) This was really a chick film.
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Tom: (describing Suzy) Double-D Indemnity!
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Crow: (as Suzy and Frankie run on the beach) Frolicking has never been so depressing.
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Tom: (seeing Suzy's bikini) I'm hungry for cupcakes, I don't know why.
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Crow: (describing Frankie) Brain pan of a collie, this one.
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Mike (during a skydiving scene) The actors do their own skydiving? Crow: No, the skydivers did their own acting.
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Tom: (as Beth and Harry banter about coffee) Coffee under-achievers.
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Crow: (as the plane taxis along) Roger. Tower, which way is the sky?
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Mike: (describing Harry's pale flabby body) Here's a tip: don't buy the Tommy Kirk workout video.
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Crow: (describing the photographer) Doodles Weaver is Eraserhead.
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Crow: (as Beth's wig moves) Her helmet shifted! Mike: She didn't fasten her chin strap.
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Mike: (as Harry carries Suzy out of the boat) Ted Kennedy's PT 109.
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Pete: (to Beth) I wanna make a freefall. Tom: On you.
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Mike: (as Harry runs towards the plane) The loneliness of the long-distance greaser.
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Mike: (describing Beth) Marlo Thomas in That Guy. Tom: Loretta Lynn in Co-Pilot's Daughter.
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Tom: (as the credits whiz by on the screen) This is an 'I-can't-pay-you-but-I'll-put-your-name-in-the-credits' cast list.
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Crow: (at the end of the short) This is the film the boys had to watch, and the girls had to go to the gym and watch the other film!
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Coach: (to his team before practice) I took some industrial arts courses when I was in school. Tom: Look at me now!
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Joe: (whose voice has obviously changed from 'live' to pre-recorded) No matter what job you go into after you graduate... Tom: Your voice changes.
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Mr. Barnes: Tool operators. Tom: (imitating Sade) Tool operators....Toooooolll....
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Joe: It's fun to have an idea. Mike: There. Wasn't that fun?
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Tom: (as the short begins) Puberty on parade!
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Mike: Looks like they forgot to have something happen in this movie.
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Mike: Gosh, I'm glad he's not skydiving naked!
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NOTES (2)
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The writer and director of the film, Coleman Francis himself is in the climactic scene, wielding a shotgun. He also starred in Red Zone Cuba.
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This episode is available on VHS and DVD from Rhino Home Video.
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ALLUSIONS (9)
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Taxi Driver "I wish a real rain would come and wash all the me off the streets" is an allusion to the 1976 film Taxi Driver and the quote "Someday a real rain's gonna come and wash all the scum off the streets".
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Campobello: Mentioned by Mike when an FDR lookalike drives a car, Campobello was Franklin Roosevelt's summer residence.
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Sade: Tom sang, "Tool operators....Toooooolll...." He was spoofing Sade's song, Smooth Operator.
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Eraserhead: Crow described the photographer with the words "Doodles Weaver is Eraserhead." Eraserhead was a short black & white film by David Lynch, where the character had a huge pile of hair standing straight up.
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Coffee Achievers: Tom said "Coffee under-achievers." There was a series of commercials in the early 1980's in which different celebrities would talk about what good things coffee had done for them.
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Tom Servo's car: In the fourth segment, when Crow said "No one had to give me a car!" he is referring to The Killer Shrews, when at the beginning of the episode, Tom gets a car from Joel, and Crow only gets a pair of slacks.
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Lupita: When Suzy comes out of the back of the pharmacy, Crow says 'No, Lupita!,' alluding to Santa Claus.
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Manos: When jazzy music comes up during a driving scene, Crow says "Manos!", alluding to Manos: The Hands of Fate.
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Teri, you're dirt! Tom says "He'll never touch you Teri, you're dirt!" The line is from Teen-Age Crime Wave.
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Help identifying an episode
02/28/121
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Films in need of a good riffing.
02/27/1219
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Please help with an Episode NAME!!
02/09/125
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Joel or Mike?
02/07/1223
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Worst films featured on MST3K
02/05/129
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Horrors of Spider Island
S 10 : Ep 10
Aired 7/25/99 (1:30:27)
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Hamlet
S 10 : Ep 8
Aired 6/27/99
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Final Justice
S 10 : Ep 7
Aired 6/20/99 (1:33:00)
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Blood Waters of Dr. Z
S 10 : Ep 4
Aired 5/2/99 (1:32:00)
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