Mystery Science Theater 3000

(Mark revives Grace in Dr. Conway's lab) Crow: Grace before every meal! Tom: Amen!

(as Dr. Conway plays the organ) Crow: I'm sorry, I can't think of the ending. Tom: I can't think of anything else.

Dr. Conway: Suppose you could wake up every morning and see your face untouched by time? Joel: Like Dick Clark?

Mark: Forever's a long time, doc. Crow: Yeah, tell us about it, this movie's a long time!

(as Dan is injected) Tom: Oh, I get it, he's Lenny Bruce! Joel: No, it's just a case of slight overacting.

Dr. Wright: Good night, Sharon. Good night, Charles. Dr. Conway: Good night, Loren. Ton: (high-pitched voice) Good night, John-Boy. Crow: (gravelly voice) Good night, McCloud.

Dr. Wright: Grace Thomas committed suicide. Dr. Conway: Committed suicide? Joel: Someone should tell her!

(Dr. Wright introduces Dr. Conway to Grace) Tom: Ah, those will... uh, she'll do nicely! Dr. Conway: Dr. Wright has told me a great deal about you. Joel: And what you didn't tell me, the photos will reveal.

Crow: Music by the Edgar Allan Poe Marching Band!

(in the second short) Narrator: A family is a team that works together. Crow: A losing team, but still...

(in the second short) Narrator: Yes, sir, Father and Mother do a good job of working together. Tom: Given their limited capabilities.

(in the second short, Tommy's mom straightens his room) Narrator: There was the bed to be made. Joel: And the maid to be bedded! (Tom imitates a rimshot)

(in the second short) Narrator: This is Tommy's room. Can you guess what he's thinking? Crow: What a dump!

Crow: (as the posture kids appear with crowns, capes and scepters) Their chances of being cool are ruined for life.

Joel: (describing the kids in the posture short) They're the Posture Posse!

(in the posture short) Narrator: (describing Mary's outline) With hollow chest and tired head. Crow: She should just go home to bed! Tom: D'oh! Crow: Green Eggs And Ham. Tom: Thank you, Sam I Am.