The story:
A professor builds a time machine, in the form of a small plane.
Okay. That's hard enough to accept. Small plane? How about a big booth, or a supercomputer, or for pity's sake, a *big* plane? No, it has to be one of those two-seater ones they use to do the crop dusting.
Then, he sells it to a secretive conglomerate. This, I can almost believe-- except that it makes much more sense to sell it openly, so you can be famous and make a ton of money. Today, this guy would go to IBM or something and walk out with oodles of cash. Not to mention the Nobel Prize.
Why, in this movie, do the characters travel time on such a limited basis? Crimony, if I had a time travel machine, I'd be zooming off to watch the great events in history. Make some popcorn and sit with a telescope on a distant hillside while the Crusaders and the Saracens go at it. You know, something really interesting. But nooooo. Not only do the dopes in this movie not do anything remotely provocative or fun, they don't even do enough travelling to *get away from the people who are chasing them,* until the end.
In the Satellite of Love sequences, there's a funny bit where Crow goes back in time and has to convince Mike to stop taking bad temp jobs. When he does, this means that someone else will eventually come in and run the SOL, which is not such a good idea after all. Crow goes back to fix everything. So we're into the film again.
Talk about your mixed blessings...
If they gave out awards for being lame and inert, this movie would sweep them. It actually pulls all the energy out of the room.
You'll want to go upside this movie's head.moreless
Episode Summary
EDIT
Movie Plot: Time Chasers A computer scientist must destroy his time travel machine to save the future.
Intro: Mike recaps the Roman planet saga, and Tom gets him to say 'lost in space' so he and Crow can act like the robot and Mr. Smith. Segment One: Mike parks the ship next to the Widowmaker. He goes and visits Pearl while the 'bots watch TV. She's just put Bobo down and listens to him through a baby monitor. Crow comes over when Tom switches the channel. Pearl goes back on her promise and sends the movie. Segment Two: Crow goes back in time to 1985 to get Mike to quit the temp jobs that would lead him to Deep 13. He finds Mike at a dairy co-op. He finds that the job will take a little longer than he thought. Segment Three: Crow continues to convince Mike to quit the temp jobs. He finds that Mike has a band called Sex Factory. Mike decides to go full-time with the band. When he gets back to his time, though, he finds that Mike has been killed at a gig and his older brother Eddie is now on the SOL. He took the temp jobs Mike would have. He is much more aggressive than Mike and is a big bully. Segment Four: Crow slips away and goes back to 1985 to convince his past future self not to convince Mike to quit the temp jobs. Segment Five: Crow tries to get Mike to say 'Gilligan's island,' but he refuses to go along. He goes back to Pearl's and tells her what Crow did. She says there's another Crow in Wisconsin in 1985. Mike is doubtful, but the spare Crow has taken Mike's temp job at the dairy co-op.
Stinger: Robertson says, 'Matt, it's time for you to decide whether you want to be one of my team players or not.'moreless
Intro: Mike recaps the Roman planet saga, and Tom gets him to say 'lost in space' so he and Crow can act like the robot and Mr. Smith. Segment One: Mike parks the ship next to the Widowmaker. He goes and visits Pearl while the 'bots watch TV. She's just put Bobo down and listens to him through a baby monitor. Crow comes over when Tom switches the channel. Pearl goes back on her promise and sends the movie. Segment Two: Crow goes back in time to 1985 to get Mike to quit the temp jobs that would lead him to Deep 13. He finds Mike at a dairy co-op. He finds that the job will take a little longer than he thought. Segment Three: Crow continues to convince Mike to quit the temp jobs. He finds that Mike has a band called Sex Factory. Mike decides to go full-time with the band. When he gets back to his time, though, he finds that Mike has been killed at a gig and his older brother Eddie is now on the SOL. He took the temp jobs Mike would have. He is much more aggressive than Mike and is a big bully. Segment Four: Crow slips away and goes back to 1985 to convince his past future self not to convince Mike to quit the temp jobs. Segment Five: Crow tries to get Mike to say 'Gilligan's island,' but he refuses to go along. He goes back to Pearl's and tells her what Crow did. She says there's another Crow in Wisconsin in 1985. Mike is doubtful, but the spare Crow has taken Mike's temp job at the dairy co-op.
Stinger: Robertson says, 'Matt, it's time for you to decide whether you want to be one of my team players or not.'moreless
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Michael J. Nelson
Mike Nelson [5-10]
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Mary Jo Pehl
Magic Voice [4-7] & Pearl Forrester [7-10]
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Kevin Murphy
Tom Servo [2-10], Professor Bobo [8-10] & Cambot
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Jim Mallon
Gypsy [1-8]
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Patrick Brantseg
Gypsy [8-10]
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Bill Corbett
Crow T. Robot [8-10] & Observer aka Brain Guy [8-10]
Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions
See All-
TRIVIA (2)
ADD TRIVIA-
Mike's brother Eddie (also played by Michael J. Nelson) was in the theater between the third and fourth host segments. Eddie was totally different than Mike, a rough man who had Tom totally bullied. Crow, however, is not intimidated, calling him 'Edward.' At one point, Eddie just gets up from his seat and stands off to the side, smoking and drinking beers. He tosses a couple of empty cans on the floor, and when it is time to go, he just grabs Tom by the neck to carry him out.
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At one point, Crow riffs, 'Vermont! City on the go!' Vermont, of course, is a state.
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QUOTES (23)
ADD QUOTES-
(while watching the credits) Crow: Who did they think this would appeal to, anyway? Elderly squirrels? Mike: People without heads? Crow: Toadstools? Tom: Clumps of dirt, maybe. Mike: Barber poles? Crow: Coffee tables, perhaps? Tom: Little bits of material that break off of plastic trays? Mike: Used napkins? Crow: Italians, maybe? Mike: Crow! Crow: What? Mike: A little off the point there. Crow: Oh, I'm sorry. I see what you're saying...Germans? Mike: No! Tom: They are special thanking the hell out of these people, huh? Mike: All these people bear some responsibility, you know. Tom: Which means I really, really hate the citizens and officials of Rutland, Vermont.
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Mike: (as Nick rides his bike to the grocery store) Come to Martin's. What up?
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Crow: I left my keys at the Manchu Wok of the future!
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Mike: (as a plane falls from a tree) Oh, Spielberg stole that bit for Jurassic Park.
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Nick: You still don't get it, do you? Crow: Kevin Spacey was Keyser Sose!
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(as Nick climbs down from the tree) Mike: Oh, he's trying to get honey like Pooh. Crow: Well, he's like poo all right.
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Crow: The movie really heightens the lack of interest in the film.
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Crow: (describing Lisa at her desk) Lauren Tewes in Absence of Malice.
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Tom: This is as good as any Bond film. Gold Bond Medicated Powder, that is!
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Crow: (as Robertson's plane flies over pine trees): Oh, great scenery! Crappy movie.
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(as dials from the airplane's instrument panel are seen) Tom: They're running out of alt! Eddie: And their miff knots are going down!
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Eddie: (as gunshots are heard) The track meet is starting, and starting! And starting, and starting...
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Lisa: We've got to do something, what do we do? Crow: I suggest a suicide pact, personally.
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Crow: (as Nick pushes Matt into the guards) He threw Michael Medved at him!
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Crow: (to Past Mike) Exactly when in the future will you become not stupid, Mike?
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Nick: So, uh, you cooking dinner? Lisa: Are you offering dinner? Crow: No, I'm saying make me dinner!
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Mike: (describing Robertson) Hi, I'm Bob Evil!
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Tom: (as Lisa first appears) Two different plaids? Man, I'm a naked robot and even I know that's a fashion no-no.
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Mike: (describing Marty) Co-starring Bruce Springsteen's little brother, Wayne.
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Crow: (as a kid jogs in the future) So, in the future, kids become gay agents?
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Eddie: It takes a chin.
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Mike: Food courts...of the future!
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Crow: Filmed in Vermont, the other, smaller Wisconsin.
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NOTES (5)
ADD NOTES-
The filmakers of this miserable movie are actual fans of the show. They arranged a party for when it appeared, and even spoke with Mike Nelson and the others at the show. Afterwards they also spoke to Mike and the others, and things weren't so good. Source: Mike Nelson's intro on DVD.
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This episode is available on DVD from Rhino Home Video.
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You don't hear the usual end theme during the credits. It's what was on the TV when Crow went back in time.
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Brain Guy shows up during the movie credits in an attempt to be funny. Brain Guy becomes more depressed than anything. (This was done in an attempt to make fun at Sci-Fi's using the end credits of the show to promote various videos from the channel, their magazine and even their website. Needless to say, fans were never happy with the channels use of this tactic.)
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Mike's brother Eddie watches the movie for the third half-hour.
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ALLUSIONS (1)
ADD ALLUSIONS-
Mike: (as Nick stands outside in the destroyed future) You know, that guy could use some chinderwear. Chinderwear was the Mads' invention exchange in experiment #505, The Magic Voyage of Sinbad.
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Help identifying an episode
02/28/121
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Films in need of a good riffing.
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