Mystery Science Theater 3000

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Comedy Central (ended 1999)

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  • Hercules Unchained

    Full Episode

    S 4 : Ep 8 - 8/1/92

    Movie Plot: Hercules Unchained Hercules returns to Thebes, goes on a mission but forgets, then remembers. Intro: It's wash day on the Satellite of Love. The bots are horrified. Segment One: The Mads introduce decorator roaches. Steve Reeves stops by Deep 13 as a pest control guy and ends up introducing the movie. The crew invents the Steve-O-Meter, which tells if an invention has been first thought of by Steve Allen. Segment Two: Crow and Servo lounge in a hedonistic state and make Joel peel grapes for them, while Gypsy sings and bangs her head against a lyre. Segment Three: Like Hercules drinks of the Waters of Forgetfulness in the movie, the guys partake of the Carob Shake of Pretentiousness, the Blizzard of Loneliness, and the Fruit Stripe Gum of Stability. Segment Four: The 'bots try to get Joel to talk about the intimate details of Herc's relationship with the Queen in the movie. Joel admits that he is her dentist. Segment Five: The group tries to explain bad movies to Gypsy. Steve Reeves winds up reminicing about his movies. Stinger: The Queen is stunned and speechless.moreless
  • The Killer Shrews

    Full Episode

    S 4 : Ep 7 - 7/25/92

    Movie Plot: The Killer Shrews Some scientists on an island accidentally create giant poisonous shrews.
    Also riffed was the short: Junior Rodeo Daredevils.

    Intro: Joel gives gifts to the 'bots. Gyspy receives a Love's Baby Soft Bath Kit. Tom gets a dragster with a tape deck. Crow recieves a pair of dress slacks, which he is not enthusiastic about.
    Segment One: Tom tries to comfort Crow, but he drives off in his car. The Mads have a missle ready to split the Earth in two, but they don't have much to gain from using it. Joel invents Jim Henson's Edgar Winter Babies.
    Segment Two: Joel tries to impersonate Will Rogers. He has Crow dress up like a steer and Tom as a cactus; however he gets too much into it and ties up Crow.
    Segment Three: Servo and Crow create a Killer Shrews board game. No one moves. They break down and Joel comforts them.
    Segment Four: Joel and The Mads try a drink that Servo and Crow came up called the Killer Shrew. It makes Joel collapse and Frank go crazy.
    Segment Five: The 'bots dress up as killer shrews and attack Joel as he reads a viewer's letter. Frank has drank too much Killer Shrew and Dr. Forrester gives him an ipecac.

    Stinger: Dr. Craigis tries to explain the experiment to Thorne.

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  • Attack of the Giant Leeches

    Full Episode

    S 4 : Ep 6 - 7/18/92

    Movie Plot: Attack of the Giant Leeches Giant leeches attack a bunch of hicks in the Everglades. Also riffed was the short:Undersea Kingdom, Chapter one, Beneath The Ocean Floor.

    Intro: The Holo-Clowns from the previous episode are still in the Hexfield. After scaring everyone(even Magic Voice), Joel finally deactivates them. Segment One: Tom does a clown haiku. Dr. Forrester puts a leech on Frank's neck instead of a nicotine patch as his invention. Joel invents the SOL Insty-Adolescent Kit and Tom becomes a teenager as the example. Segment Two: The 'bots discuss fashion for megalomaniacs. Dr. Forrester makes Frank bow at his feet. Segment Three: The crew discuss their dreams as they have an international coffees moment. Tom is the coffeepot. Segment Four: Joel and the 'bots dress as the movie's hicks and sing We're a Danger to Ourselves and Others, then they blow themselves up. Segment Five: The guys discuss the intelligence of the leeches in the movie. TV's Frank has all the blood drained out of him by the giant leech from the invention exchange. The leech and Dr. Forrester discuss working together. Frank falls on the button.

    Stinger: Little Billy has an episode as he roots for Crash.moreless
  • Teenagers from Outer Space

    Full Episode

    S 4 : Ep 4 - 6/27/92

    Movie Plot: Teenagers from Outer Space "Teens" from outer space come to earth for the purpose of livestock grazing. Intro: Joel tries electroshock on Servo and Crow. Segment One: The 'bots invent scratch-n-sniff report cards. Dr. Forrester tries ventriloquisim. Segment Two: Comparing Real life to Reel life. Segment Three: The crew shoots snacks into space. Segment Four: A real hardcore space cruiser stops by but has lame results. Segment Five: Joel and the 'bots show off duct tape fashion based on the movie. Dr. Forrester has a romantic date with Resusci-Annie and Frank is creeped out. Stinger: When we return the high priest shall sentence you to TORTURE!!!moreless
  • The Giant Gila Monster

    Full Episode

    S 4 : Ep 2 - 6/13/92

    Movie Plot: The Giant Gila Monster Not much unexpected happens: a giant gila monster goes on a rampage. Intro: Crow and Tom tape themselves together. Segment One: The Mads create motivational punching bags. Segment Two: Joel opens a small malt shop Segment Three: The guys remember some of their favorite drunk entertainers (Dean Martin, Otis Campbell, etc.) Segment Four: "Servo On Cinema" - Tom examines the movie's director, Ray Kellog. Segment Five: The crew forms a rock band. Stinger: Weird old man belches up his "sodee-pop".moreless
  • Master Ninja II

    Full Episode

    S 3 : Ep 24 - 1/25/92

    The second Master Ninja episode features union organizing and a hostage crisis. The 'bots make their own custom vans while trying their (inoperable) hands at improv.
  • Master Ninja I

    Full Episode

    S 3 : Ep 22 - 1/11/92

    The crew watch two episodes of the 70's series The Master pressed together into a bad movie. Also, the 'bots make pop-up books of famous novels and Crow uncovers the Van Patten plot.moreless
  • Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

    Full Episode

    S 3 : Ep 21 - 12/21/91

    Movie Plot: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians Santa is abducted by Martians to bring joy to Mars. Intro: The 'bots make their Christmas lists. Segment One: Dr Forrester and TV's Frank present the Wish Squisher. Joel and the 'bots present their own misfit toys Segment Two: The crew performs "A Patrick Swayze Christmas" Segment Three: Joel looks through his Christmas movie collection. Segment Four: Joel and the 'bots read their christmas essays with horrible results until Gypsy gives hers. Segment Five: Joel gives the 'bots presents. Frank pawns Dr. Forrester's Rolex to buy him a watchband. Stinger:moreless
  • The Unearthly

    Full Episode

    S 3 : Ep 20 - 12/14/91

    While watching another movie about an experiment gone bad, the crew tries to make a funny home video and present celebrity items like the Emilio Esta-Pez and the Jimmie JJ Walker. The Mads have pills that are really hard to swallow. The 'bots teach Joel about all the roles Tor Johnson had and a board game based on the movie is created.

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  • Pod People

    Full Episode

    S 3 : Ep 3 - 6/15/91

    While watching another alien movie, the crew invents a monster chord for monster rock shows while the Mads present public domain karaoke. Also, we find where the ethereal music from space movies come from, do some stupid magic, and hear the classics 'Idiot Control Now' and 'Clowns in the Sky.'

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  • Cave Dwellers

    Full Episode

    S 3 : Ep 1 - 6/1/91

    The Comedy Central era begins with a post-apocalyptic hero who hang glides. The crew invents a smoking jacket that smokes, while the Mads introduce robotic arm wrestling. Joel also shows the 'bots how sound effects are made and make a new credit sequence for the movie.

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  • Ring of Terror

    Full Episode

    S 2 : Ep 6 - 11/3/90

    The crew watches a horror movie where a medical student has to steal a ring off a corpse as part of a fraternity hazing as well as part 3 of The Phantom Creeps serial. The inventions have a medical theme including Frank in a real-life game of Operation, while the Old School for Old Students is introduced.

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  • Catalina Caper

    Full Episode

    S 2 : Ep 4 - 10/13/90

    The crew watch a beach movie while Tom falls in love with the 'creepy girl' and Joel tries to explain the '60's. Little Richard is among the musical guests.

  • The Sidehackers

    Full Episode

    S 2 : Ep 2 - 9/29/90

    The crew watches a movie about a mechanic who encounters a motorcycle gang. Joel presents a pet Slinky while the gang make up terminology for the new sport of sidehacking.

  • Project Moonbase

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 8 - 1/16/90

    The crew watches a movie about a space station being under sabotage while introducing the all-puropse product SPACOM and enduring two Commando Cody episodes.
  • Robot Monster

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 6 - 1/2/90

    The crew watch a post-apocalyptic movie and two Commando Cody shorts while trying to figure out surrealism.
  • The Corpse Vanishes

    Full Episode

    S 1 : Ep 4 - 12/19/89

    The crew watches Bela Lugosi as a mad scientist who uses young brides to keep his aging wife looking young and part three of the Commando Cody serial. Also, Tom reads a Tiger Bot story about Data and the crew plays tag.moreless
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