Mystery Science Theater 3000

Tom: (as Frank, after Capt. Churchman is pulled into the grave) You were the bestest Batman ever. Good bye, Cesar Romero!

(Capt. Churchman finds Molly) Capt. Churchman: Well, looky here. Crow: (as Ned Flanders) How you diddly-doin'?

(talking about Molly) Capt. Churchman: She's a harmless old coconut, believe me. Mike: As a coconut, sir, I'm offended.

Mike: (describing Jim's mother) The Anne Meara of Canada.

(talking about the bands appearing in the opening credits) Tom: Oh, Motorhead. I have their new collection of Cole Porter tunes. Crow: (as Girlschool appears) Uh, that's Womanschool! Tom: Oh, I think Thor ith fabulouth. Mike: Oh, Deathmask! They played at my parents' anniversary party. Tom: I saw Fist when they opened for Badfinger.

Mike: It's Dondi the zombie!

Crow: (seeing Bob lift weights) Mod Hair Ken bulks up.

Bob: (after reading about Peter and Susie's deaths) Peter never did any dust, man. Tom: He was a crackhead.

Crow: (as Pete and Susie enter the hot tub) He's wearing Jockey for Her!

Tom: (as Pete and Susie kiss) So many women tennis players wish they were that guy.

Jim: When Jimbo wastes 'em, they stay wasted. Mike: Hey, that's a good slogan.

(the kids meet at the drive-in) Crow: Not the Twist & Cream! Tom: No, that's 'Créme'.

Crow: (as the sun rises on screen) The early morning call to voodoo.

Tom: (about the ceremony) What stage of grieving is this? Mike: It's the goofy stage.

Molly: And feel again the worm. Crow: I don't wanna feel again the worm!

Crow: Look at all the candles! What did they do, loot a Pier 1?

Crow: (about Molly's speech pattern) Is she half she-e-e-ep?

(Hank brings Tony's dead body back to his mother) Crow: That's the Canadian healthcare system. Bush warned us about this.

(a robber is pulling out a gun from the back of his pants) Mike: It's stuck in his hinder holster!

(Tony hits his bat on the fence) Crow: I like the ting sound. Huh, huh, huh.

Crow: (seeing her name in the opening credits) Tia Carrere? We may have to pay attention!