We have 3 four year olds. (two girls and one boy) Our kids are angels, mostly do what is asked of them as long as they get what they want. we can get them to clean their rooms sometimes and eat their meals 3 out of 5 times. I think we are doing pretty good for the most part, but when they don't get what they want, it's world war 3. All three of them will have a complete melt down at the same time and it becomes yelling, screaming, biting, kicking, punching for hours afterwards until they fall to sleep where they stand.
The reason for a melt down is always something small. i.e today we were all getting in the car and on of the girls wanted to sit in a specific spot (she was the last to get in the car) we attempted negotiation, which none of the kids agreed to... and the situation escalated to bloody murder screaming, kicking and hitting. I don't know what to do in a situation where my wife and I can't use time out and spanking only makes them more angry and act out on each other.
While I'm asking for advise, my wife and I would like to get our intimate life back... Our kids wake up in the middle of the night, multiple times a night, and attempt to crawl in bed with us. We keep taking them back to their room, but as soon as they realize they are not in our bed; back they come crying they want to sleep in ours.