After Nash's accountant commits suicide, he discovers that he is now broke. The scam behind all of it leads the SIU to Tamara Van Zant, Nash's former flame, who's scammed him more than once before. Inger wants the bathroom remodelled, and Joe insists on doing it himself. Cassidy and Evan try to figure out living arrangements. Nash is worried about Nick after his heart attack.moreless
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This episode takes place four months after the season three finale.
Tamara: You do turn up in the darnest places.
Nash: Let me help you with those packages. (throws her bags in the back seat of the car) Now put your hands on the hood of the car.
Tamara: You haven't even said hello.
Nash: Hello, Tamara. I ran into Kerry, when I saw her she was a little toasty.
Tamara: How'd 'ya find me?
Nash: I got a bad compass. It always leads me to you.
Tamara: Just my luck.
Nash: What'd you do with the money?
Tamara: What money?
Nash: Exactly. Now you know how I feel. Well, no matter where you're going you ain't gonna be able to spend it. Kinda makes us even doesn't it?
Joe: You know, I must say that you're handling this Evan/Cassidy thing a lot better than I imagined.
Nash: Acceptance can be a beautiful thing, bubba. Besides, compared to my financial situation, that's cake.
Joe: Don't worry, it's all about to change.
Nash: Well, I'll tell 'ya like I told Cassidy and everybody else. I'm gonna be okay. It ain't pretty, but I'm okay. Oh, uh, listen I've been thinkin' about it. Why don't you and Inger and Lucia move into Lisa's until the firehouse is rebuilt?
Joe: Really? You'd let us do that?
Nash: You're my best friend.
Joe: Bubba, you are a friend to the brown man. Thanks, brother. Uh, when can we move in?
Nash: Just as soon as I can get a security deposit, first and last month's rent and your signature right here on this lease agreement. Uh, linens aren't included.
Joe: Well, you said you knew what you were doin'.
Harvey: So you're saying that I'm responsible for that fire?
Joe: Well, you put the wiring in.
Harvey: I only drilled the holes. And how do you know that the wires that caused the fire were the ones that we put in?
Evan: Guys, guys, cool it. I heard it was an accident. There's no one to blame here.
Joe: Oh, no, no, no. When somebody's house burns down to the ground there's someone to blame.
Evan: Joe, what's with your clothes? You look like a Mexican Red Skeleton.
Joe: You like these clothes? They're Harvey's because my clothes are all in the cleaners with smoke damage.
Harvey: I was there to help. Crucify me if you must.
Evan: So Joe, where you going to stay until your house gets rebuilt?
Joe: Well, I was thinkin' of movin' my family in with him.
Harvey: Oh, no. No, thanks. My cross is not that big.
Evan: Guys, what about Lisa's?
Joe: What are you, nuts?
Evan: Well, why not? Cassidy's gonna be movin' in with me. I mean, the place is just standing there why don't you ask Nash if you could use it?
Harvey: Oh, yeah. That's a great idea.
Evan: No, I'm serious. I mean, you're Nash's best friend, right? I mean, what is he gonna say 'no'? Ask him.
Nash (walking in): Ask who what?
Joe: Uh, nothing. We were just talking.
Nash: Yeah, I got that part. About what? Don't tell me you and Mr. Tool Time over there can't finish the job and you want me to call Dov to bail you out.
Joe: Not exactly.
Nash: What's with the look? (Harvey hands Nash a melted soap dish) What's this?
Harvey: Soap dish from Joe's master bath.
Joe: It's the only thing that we were able to save.
Nash: You burnt the house down? (exhales) Where's Lucia and Inger?
Joe: They're still in Stockton.
Nash: Mmm. I bet this went over big.
Joe: Actually, she's not as mad as I thought she'd be. I mean, you know, she wanted a new bathroom and now she gets a whole new house.
Nash: So where were you planning on staying until the house is rebuilt?
Joe: Actually, I was hoping that you could help me out, brother.
Nash: You mean you and the whole family at my place? I don't think so. Good luck.
Nash: Hi. What are you doing here this time? Did you bring me another bag of money or you just gonna keep it all for yourself?
Tamara: I give up. I surrender. Why don't you take me into custody? Please.
Nash: Why do you have to be so bad?
Tamara: It keeps you interested, doesn't it? (they kiss) I can give you Jonas.
Nash: And what's it gonna cost me?
Tamara: I want total immunity.
Nash: Never gonna happen.
Tamara: I'm offering you the bad guy, the money, and if you want, the girl. That's what you've always wanted, isn't it? Isn't that what we've both always wanted, to be together?
Nash (kisses her forehead): That was a long time ago. Not now.
Tamara: He knows you talked to Kerry, he doesn't trust her. I think he's gonna kill her. I'm probably next.
Nash: You'll survive. You always do.
Nash: Hey, Nick. What'cha readin'?
Nick: A Widow for One Year.
Nash (picks up the dictionary by Nick): You still lookin' words up that you don't know? That's good.
Nick: Can I finish this chapter before we make up? Or will you forget what you came to say?
Nash: I'm just concerned for 'ya, Nick.
Nick: I know. I remember the day your mother and I dropped you off at kindergarten. Your first say of school. (laughs) You were a scrappy little kid, Nash. But frankly, I thought you looked kind of scared and I told your mom that maybe we should stick around, help him through this. You know, your mother. She gave me that look. She whispered something in your ear, she took me by the arm and she said 'Nicolas, walk away and don't look back because if you do look back, you're gonna go back. And there is no going back.'
Nash: Why was she so smart?
Nick: I don't know. She just was.
Nash: Ah, hell, Nick if Mom were here, you'd be livin' with her and I wouldn't have to learn everything the hard way. (laughs)
Nick: Well, I'm gonna go to bed. Good night, son.
Nash: Good night, Nick.
Joe: Okay, if you have to know I'm going to buy a gray market toilet. There. Now you know. Are you satisfied?
Nash: Well, wait, wait. I'm not going to be a party to this. If you wanna buy an illegal toilet, you do it on your own time.
Joe: Give me two minutes.
Nash: I'm not doin' this. (Joe sighs and gets out of the car) Hey, hey, Joe. I'm-- I'm doing this.
Joe (holding Inger's book of remodels for the bathroom): This is all that stands between me and a divorce. Uh, you wanna make a left up here?
Joe: Just make a left up here.
Nash: Well, where we goin'?
Joe: We're going left.
Nash: Left to where?
Joe (sighs): Don't ask me so many questions. Just make a left up here, okay? Please.
Nash: Bubba, you know you can't keep a secret from me. So why are you doing this to yourself? Just tell me where you wanna go and we'll go.
Joe (pointing left): Left. (they turn left) Pull up there behind that truck.
Nash: I am filled with such a combination of curiosity and dread that it's almost unimaginable.
Tamara: Your money. I got a copy of your account statement. It's all here. Take it. Take it and walk away.
Nash: That's not my money. It's the equviliant of my money.
Tamara: Same difference.
Nash: Nuh-uh. (walks away)
Inger: I know what your plan is, Joe. Just prove to me that you can put in a shower set and I'll let you finish the whole project, right?
Joe: Well, what's wrong with that?
Inger: I want a professional job. I want Dov.
Joe: Dov. This guy should have his own colon. You don't think I could do a professional job?
Joe: Well, thanks.
Inger: Oh, Joe. You're a wonderful man and a great husband, and father, you're a terrific lover, and a wonderful cop. But that also doesn't mean you're a fantastic contractor. Now, please come out of the bathroom.
Joe (about Tamara): Pain, remorse, heartache, just some of the things she cause you brother.
Nash: Don't I remember.
Joe: Just wanna make sure.
Nash: So how's this work? You get a new name every time you get a new guy?
Tamara: Christine's my middle name and of course, Talifero his name. You know, I truly am sorry that you lost your money, Nash.
Nash: Yeah, which really means is that you're sorry that I caught on.
Tamara: No. Way more than that.
Nash: Well, don't worry I don't really consider it lost. I consider it on temporary loan.
Tamara: Stop. Before I go, I know you don't believe me but every time I think I'm over you I see you. And then I find out I'm not.
Nash: You're telling me that you can't charge this woman with anything?
Stacy: It's not a crime to go broke. I'm sorry.
Stacy: Dad and I our getting our diving certification together.
Nash: Have you completely lost your mind? He had a heart attack four months ago!
Stacy (to Nick): Let him overreact if he wants to.
Nick: We won't hear him underwater.
Nash: Nick, do me a favor, pick a different activity. Something nice and safe.
Joe: You know, scuba diving when properly taught is perfectly safe.
Nash: Was anybody talking to you?
(Nick is testing out his scuba gear)
Nash: What are you doin'?
Nick: You know, for a detective I'd say that your powers of deduction are weak.
Nash: What do you got there, bubba?
Joe: A book.
Nash: That's a do-it-yourself home repair book. You are not planning on doing this project yourself.
Joe: No, I' not. Harvey said he'd help me.
Nash: Harvey has electronics apptitude not a mechanical apptitude, two very separate things.
Joe: Ah, same principle.
Nash: Let me put it this way: A toilet is not a computer. Need I say more?
Joe: You know, speaking of toilets, the toilet Inger picked out you can't even get it in California because it uses too much water or something.
Nash (laughs): You're serious? I don't believe this. Look, if you don't like Dov's personality you gotta just look past it.
Joe: Forget his personality, I don't like his price. Look if Harvey and I do this thing I can have a new bathroom and get a new boat.
Nash: Cheaper to hire Dov.
Joe: Why do you keep saying that? Are you getting a kick back from him or somethin'?
Nash: Cheaper to hire Dov.
Inger: Well, we were planning to remodel anyway.
Joe: Well, we're discussing it.
Inger: We remodeled the kitchen for you. We remodeled your workroom for you. Now you know how much I want to get this bathroom remodeled and you say that we are discussing it?
Joe: I'm not saying that we're not going to do it.
Inger: How many 'not's' can you put in one sentence, huh?
Dov: You want the work done, fine. You don't want the work done, fine.
Nash: Well, apparently it's a proven fact that towards the end of every century people tend to get a lot crazier and the stranger things become.
Harvey: Right. Cause and effect, Joesph, very important for our job.
Joe: You mean like trusted accountants leaping off rooftops? That sorta thing?
Nash: Exactly like that.
Joe: It'll be okay. It's not like you had all your money tied up with Joel.
Nash: Yes, I did.
Joe: You oughta think about diversifying.
Nash: Well, thanks very much for the tip.
Joe (about the guy who might jump off the building): You know this guy?
Nash: Hell yes I know him. He's Joel Rasmussen, my accountant.
Joe: That's not a good sign.
Joe: Yo, bubba, you wanna slow down, man? Either this guy has already jumped or he's not going to. I mean, if we get there five minutes later what's the difference?
Joe: It'll make me feel better. Now will you stop backseat drivin' and finish the story?
Joe: What's to finish? She wants to remodel.
Nash: Because the bathtub won't drain?
Joe: 'Cause the tub won't drain, and the basement won't drain and the faucet won't turn, she's tired of syphoning out the tub with a hose.
Nash: Yeah, I don't blame her.
Joe: Why do you always take her side?
Nash: I'm not taking anybody's side. I just want to point out that you're eventually gonna cave in so you might as well just pull out your checkbook and buy her a new bathroom.
Joe: I don't wanna spend the money right now.
Nash: What else you gonna spend your money on?
(After Nash lost all his money)
Nash: I can't believe it. I'm poor.
Joe: Well, you're rich in friends.
Nash: I've worked for over 20 years. I've been diligent. I've saved, I've planned for Cassidy's college, and my future.
Joe: Not to mention a share of my new fishing boat.
Nash: This is not a joking matter.
Joe: I'm not joking, man. But, you know Nashman, it happened. At some point, you're going to have to accept it.
Nash: Well, that may be so. But we're a helluva way from that point.
Joe: Well, there's a bright side. I mean, think of all the money-making schemes you and I can get involved in, huh? You wanna cry, I'll steer.
(Talking about remodeling the bathroom)
Joe: That's a ballpark figure right?
Dov: What ballpark? That's the figure.
Joe: Well, I was thinking more of a written estimate.
Dov: Sure give me a piece of paper. I'll write 25,000 on it.
Kelly Hu (Michelle), is removed from the the main cast, however she has a recurring role at the beginning of this season.
Starting with this episode, the foghorn at the beginning of every episode becomes more stylized and sounds more like a hum.
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