Nash: Ooh, what's this?
Stacy: A total disaster.
Nash (about the T.V): Where'd that come from?
Nick: I bought it with the proceeds from the sale of my property.
Joe: Well, it must be a hell of a T.V.
Nash: You traded a half acre of Larksburg Bayview, for a T.V. set?
Stacy: Not the T.V., Nash. What's on it.
Nick: It's got a satellite hook up. This is Del Mar, fifth race.
Joe: Wow. You bought 300 thou worth of racing tickets? I hope you win.
Nick: No, I bought a horse.
Stacy: Number 6. Mr. Woody.
Nash: You bought a horse? What the hell do you know about horses?
Nick: I know I always wanted one. All this talk about leaving something behind made me realize I didn't want to leave this planet with anything undone.
Nash: So, this horse is going to live here, in your room, with us? I mean, what?
Nick: Now, don't be ridiculous. I got him paddocked at Del Mar for the season. I got him, room, board, a trainer, the whole bit.
Nash: Well, how are we going to pay for this?
Nick: With the winnings, son. (they all start cheering for Mr. Woody)
Harvey: Somebody want to let us outta here? Hey! We don't belong here. We're police officers!
Joe: Will you shut up? That's not an asset in here.
Joe: Hey, Harvey, what'chu doing here?
Harvey: I came to save you.
Joe: Who's going to save you?
(Stacy, Nick & Nash discussing Nick's will)
Stacy: Operating on a 50/50 basis. I've prepared a list of effects specifying who should get what. (hands Nick & Nash the paper)
Nick (reading the paper): 'Mother's jewelry, Stacy. Old navy stuff, Nash. Family china, Stacy.'
Nash: Wait a minute. Let me ask somethin'. Didn't mom say she wanted the china and the crystal to go to the first born grandchild? Well, that would be Cassidy.
Stacy: I thought you said you didn't care who got what.
Nash: I don't. I don't want anything, but I have a responsibility to Cassidy.
Nick (reading from the paper): 'Fishing gear, Nash.'
Stacy: I'd like a rod and reel.
Nash: Sure. I'll pick one out for 'ya.
Stacy: If you don't mind, I'd prefer if dad did that part. You're not willing it to me, he is.
Nash: Fine. You don't have to get snippy.
Stacy: I'm not snippy.
Nash: Oh, oh, that's snippy. I know snippy when I hear it. See? That's exactly why I didn't want to get into this pain in the ass stuff in the first place.
Stacy: Fine. The last thing I want to be is anyone's pain in the ass. (starts packing everything up)
Nash: Oh, come on, Stace. Stacy, I- I didn't-- I didn't say anything-- Calm down.
Stacy: I am calm! Am I not calm? I am calm. (storms out)
Nick: Nicely handled, son.
Nash: What? She started. I didn't do anything. (to Whitney) Did I do-- Did I say anything to her?
Whitney: Night, Nash. Night, Nick. (walks out)
Nash: It's ridiculous. Completely absurd. You okay, Nick?
Nick: Are you kidding? These are the moments a father lives for. It reminds me that my kids, no matter how old they get, are still children. (Nash sticks his tongue out at him)
(Stacy, Nick & Nash are about to discuss Nick's will)
Whitney: I should probably get going.
Nash: Nah, stick around. What are you, chicken?
Whitney: Oh, I am not one of those people who stops to stare at other people's car wrecks. I've been in too many of my own, if you know what I mean.
Nash: Oh, I know what you mean. Personal wrecks are kind of a specialty of mine. (laughs) But you may as well stick around, there's not gonna be any fireworks, at least not from me.
Harvey: Oh, Evan, by the way, there is a god. I'm moving out.
Evan: What? Look, Harv, I should say that I'm sorry, you know, about the way I acted, and, uh, I wish I could say that you could stay. (kisses Harv's cheek) But you can't! Yes.
Harvey: I guess that means back to sex in the living room?
Evan (laughs): Well, that's besides the point.
Harvey: Oh, you'll be happy to know that I'm moving home.
Bryn: That's great. Isn't it?
Harvey: I don't know. Sure it is. Do you think Evan will be okay? 'Cause you know, I think loneliness is a big part of his underlying psychology.
Bryn: He'll be happy for you, Harv.
Harvey: Bryn, he'll be ecstatic. It took me 20 minutes this morning to figure out where he hid the shower soap.
Nash: Let me ask you somethin', Nick. How is it that you can remember a poker game 40 years ago, and you can't remember Cassidy's birthday?
Nick: Priorities, son. Priorities. (Nash laughs)
Nash: Oh, I forgot to tell 'ya. Stacy's comin' over. She wants to discuss Nick's will. Whole damn thing is morbid, I think. What do you think?
Whitney: Well, it makes sense to me. As long as the beneficiaries don't end up in each other's throats.
Nash: Never happen, trust me. I care about Nick, not Nick's things.
Stacy (walks in): Hi, everybody.
Nash: Hi, Stace. You're early. Nick's still alive.
Stacy: Very funny. I am not going to feel guilty about this.
Nash: Calm down. It was just a joke.
Evan: Harvey said weeks, didn't he?
Bryn: Mmm. It might've been a figure of speech.
Evan: Oh, man. You remember that girl I was telling you about, Robin?
Bryn: Robin? Wait a minute. I'm a couple of girls behind, but go on.
Evan: Well, anyway, she comes over the other day, right? We're gonna drink a bottle of wine, so I pull out two glasses. Do you think Harvey gets the hint?
Stacy: You're blowing our entire case.
Nash: Oh, I'm blowing the case?
Stacy: If you weren't such a good witness for the defense we might have half a chance.
Nash: Excuse me. I am one of 37 witnesses in this case and the one that least likely wants to be here.
Stacy: You seem pretty eager up there on the stand.
Nash: You'll get your chance to re-direct, counselor. Or is that what we're doing now?
Stacy: Okay. Only one more question, Mr. Bridges. Why are you avoiding my calls about dad's will?
Nash: Because you know how I feel about that stuff.
Stacy: I can't go any further until you dad and I have a talk. How about tonight?
Nash: Uh, I have plans.
Stacy: I know. I already talked to dad. I'll be over at halftime. Ha.
Bryn: So, Harv, how are things going with Bonnie? Any progress?
Harvey: I don't know. She's down on my job, down on my love for the Grateful dead, she talks about Ross Perot just to piss me off, she wants to try getting back together. She's saying when we do, we're going to focus on her needs as if we don't talk about her problems 95 percent of the time already.
Evan: So you're-- you're saying when you get back together, that's a good sign, right?
Harvey: I guess. You know, this man is a prince for putting up with me. It can't be easy or fun. I love you, man, everything about 'ya.
Evan: Yeah, especially my clothes.
Harvey: Yeah, man. Your haircut, everything. You're the best, man. Thank you.
Nash: You know this is damn near impossible.
Joe: Yeah, well, nothing's impossible.
Nash: Bubba, you're gonna make me worry about you.
Joe: You already do that.
Nash (to Harvey, who is wearing Evan's shirt): Nice shirt. You don't usually see that color outside of bowling alleys.
Bryn: Evan, how long has Harvey been at your house?
Evan: Four days.
Bryn: Ouch. Don't worry, these things never last longer than a week. And look at it this way, you're putting money in the karma bank.
Evan: God, I hope so.
Harvey (walks up): Morning, children.
Evan: Harv, is that my shirt?
Harvey: Oh, yeah. I borrowed it. You don't mind, do 'ya?
Evan: Uh, yes I do, actually.
Cell Mate: My name is Frank, and I'm in for 18 years.
Joe: Hey, I'm Chewie. Seven to ten.
Cell Mate: Well, Chewie. Since we gonna be in here for a real long time together, I feel we ought to set some ground rules for the cell.
Joe: Oh, yeah. (stuttering) Like, like what?
Cell Mate: Like if you want to be the husband or you want to be the wife?
Joe (playing handball): Ooooh! Powerball to the huevos. Sorry about that!
Jodi Lyn O'Keefe (Cassidy), and Annette O'Toole (Lisa), do not appear in this episode.