Joe: Okay. I don't want to go home, okay?
Harvey: Uh oh. Talk to me.
Joe: It's my mother-in-law. She's taking over my whole house. It's that simple.
Harvey: Don't even start. You're not allowed. 'Cause you know who I have to go home to? Nobody. Now, I bet that sounds nice, but it stinks. If I had a beautiful wife like Inger who loves me, and a beautiful little baby doll like Lucia to go home to, I'd with anything, man. Uh uh. No. Life hands you lemons, you gotta be makin' lemonade, bro.
Joe: Uh huh. So what do you do with Lutefisk?
Caitlin: So, this is what a Chase looks like?
Nash: No, this is what the end of a Chase looks like.
Chase: So, you're letting her walk, huh?
Nash: Well, that depends. You have 10 seconds, sister to determine the rest of your life.
Nash: Do you solemley swear not to hang out with bad guys ever again? Amen.
Chase: I cross my heart.
Caitlin: Hope to die?
Chase (laughs): Yeah, whatever it takes. Absolutley. (signs some papers)
Nash: Okay, there's the door. I don't ever wanna see you again, or I will be your worst enemy. ... Thanks for saving my life.
Chase: Oh. It was my pleasure. (laughs) So, long Captain Bridges. (walks away)
Caitlin: See, now, the funny thing is that... you told me that she was mousey. Now see, to me that is not mousey.
Nash: I said that?
Nash: Mm. Well, personal taste, you know? One man's meat, another man's poison. (Caitlin nods, and then pulls on his ear)
Inger: Joe, be the bigger man here.
Joe: I'm sorry, honey, but there is no bigger man than your mother.
Cassidy: I found it. (shows him her ring) Evan asked for it back. You know, it was the weirdest thing, Grandpa, at first I didn't really care, you know? it didn't bother me. It's over between us, but then you know what? It really kinda hurt.
Nick: Well, love's a hard thing to find and it's even a harder thing to lose. Even if the person turns out to be all wrong.
Officer: Here he is, Nash. Public enemy number 1.
Nash: Dead man walkin'.
Nick: I ain't dead yet.
Nash (sits next to Nick in the jail cell): Have you lost what little mind that you have left?!
Nick: Take it easy, Nash. Now, I may have half-Alzheimer's, but I have a good explantion.
Nick: It wasn't what it looked like.
Nash: You were standing in a bank with a mask on, waving a gun around, what was it supposed to look like?
Nick: It wasn't a gun. It was a rocket ranger space equalizer! Nobody would rob abank with a stupid thing like that. I was just chasing away the real bank robbers, that's all.
Nash: What real bank robbers?
Nick: The ones that got away-- Two of 'em. And the one that died.
Nash: Red's not dead.
Nick: Red's okay?
Nash: He's in surgery. And the other two. They wouldn't happen to be your other poker buddies, now would they? ... I know that you were a tough spot. It wasn't the greatest plan that I've heard of in the whole world, but your heart was in the right place. ... What was that? Rocket ranger--
Nick: Yeah. (Nash laughs)
Joe: Well, welcome back to our little world. I understand that Caitlin has a little competition.
Nash (laughs): Oh, baby, tell me about it.
(After Nash gets attacked on the elevator)
Nash: Oh, people are so rude these days. There's no civility anymore.
Chase: Wow. They said you were good but... Damn!
(After Nash was undercover and got arrested by the DEA, they don't know that he's a cop)
DEA Agent: Jon Getman, aka Jack Carson, aka J.D Witherspoon. What were you doing in that apartment?
Nash: I'm gonna tell 'ya, just as soon as you tell me what you were doing there. And I'm gonna wanna see the warrant.
DEA Agent: Do you have any idea how much trouble you're in?
Nash: No. Because nobody will tell me what the hell is going on. Which kinda makes me think that you don't have a clue either.
DEA Agent: I'll ask the questions here. You just answer 'em.
Nash (laughs): What happened? You couldn't get into ATF or...?
Agent 2: I'll take it from here, guys. (all the other agents leave) I know who you are.
Nash: Good. I'm glad somebody does. Now, tell me who you are, and I'll add you to my palm pilot.
Agent 2: I know what you're doing here, Mr. Getman. (puts a key card on the table)
Nash: Unless it's suddenly become a crime in this city to carry around a hotel key card, I'll just take your apology and be on my way.
Agent 2: Personally, I don't give a damn if you shoot Carlos Santigo or not. In fact, you'd be doing us a big favor. Unforuntatly, I can't condone breaking the law in order to enforce it. So, my suggestion would be-- Unless you wanna stay in my sights, that you hightail it to the airport and you catch the next flight to anywhere.
Nash: I'll take it under advisement.
Agent 2: Oh, I'd do more than that.
Nash: But I'm not you. And I bet you wish that you weren't.
(Nash is undercover, the DEA comes storming in)
DEA Agent: DEA, don't move.
Nash: Why? Am I moving? Who's in charge here?
DEA Agent: You're under arrest.
Nash: Good. Let's go. (walks by them) Well, aren't you guys comin'?
Caitlin: And, uh, where did you meet Chase?
Nash: In Getman's hotel room.
Caitlin: She was taking a shower in Getman's hotel room while you were pretending to be Getman?
Nash: Yeah. Well, she, uh... She got dirty... cleaning the gun.
Caitlin: Uh huh. And what gun was that?
Nash: Well, the one that Getman was gonna use to kill somebody. I imagine. I'm a little fuzzy on those details.
Caitlin: So, um, will Chase be staying in this room with you?
Nash: Um, I'm a little fuzzy on that too.
Nash: Joe. Oh, man, you look like the one who's got jet lag. How's the family?
Joe: Inger-- She brought her mother back with her from Sweden.
Nash (laughs): No. You're kidding. I thought that she went there to bury her, man.
Joe: I told you, Nashman, this woman will not die, man. Now she's taken over the whole house. She eats this thing called sweet soup. She makes it all day, and eats it all day. And she brought 6 suitcases with her. You know? She never sleeps and she drinks Ovaltine all day.
Joe: Mmhmm. And now she's got Lucia hooked on it.
Nash: Okay. (laughs) Did Inger happen to mention how long she was going to stay?
Joe: Well, just until I kill myself, I guess.
Nash: Oh, not long, then?
Joe: Uh huh. Oh, by the way, I pulled a favor and got Shane West's undercover address. It's 3837 Hyde Street. He's going by the name of Eddie Calhoun.
Nash: You're a beautiful man. (Nash goes to leave)
Joe: Hey, where you goin'? I'm comin'.
Nash: Oh, no, no, no. I can't be seen with a cop, especially one that's suicidal.
Caitlin: Ah, the spy who came in from the cold.
Joe: Ah, I get it. You weren't playin' hookey, you were playin' hockey.
Caitlin: What is that?
Nash: Hockey stick.
Caitlin: Yes, dear, I know that. Where'd you get it?
Nash: I bought it with the 700,000 deutsche marks I found under Getman's bed in the hotel where he wasn't supposed to be staying.
Joe: It's not even new.
Nash: I know. Huh? Which means we're looking at a standard easle transport.
Caitlin: It's an old World War II French resistance gag. Use a very inconpecious item to transport a much more valuable one.
Chase: Oh, good. First aid kit. Please. Let's have a look at that cut.
Nash: Oh, boy. What we gonna do? Play doctor?
Nash: Now, there's an idea.
Chase: You know, I should've been a brain surgeon. People say that I'm very good with my hands. (she puts anspectic on his cut, he winces) I'm sorry, did that hurt?
Nash: Mmm. Depends on what you had in mind. I know what would feel better.
Chase: Really? (they kiss) Mm. You're right.
Nash: Have you ever seen that guy in the elevator before? (Chase shakes her head) Who else knows that I'm here?
Chase: Mr. K.
Nash: That would mean Mr. Kruger.
Chase: Well, unless you're working for another Mr. K, then yes.
Nash: No. What about Eddie Calhoun?
Nash: What's your connection to him?
Chase: Well, the same as it to you. (Nash kisses her jawline and neck) Well, not exactly the same. (Nash laughs) Lookit, if Mr. K needs me to interfere, I interfere, asking questions or answering them is not part of the job description. And I'm only telling you that because I like you, and I'm your doctor. (kisses him)
Nash: You know, whoever sent that party crasher is undoubtedly going to send another one.
Nash: So I want you outta here. Right now.
Chase: Um. You're kicking me out?
Chase: You mean that's it?
Nash: Yes, for now. (they kiss)
Chase: But I didn't get to show you everything.
Nash: Well, you know what, it's always good to have something to look forward to, isn't it?
Chase I guess.
Nash: See 'ya around.
Chase: Yeah, see 'ya.
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