(On the phone)
Nash: Here's what you do-- Round up those bozos of his get 'em into interrogation. Play 'em all off of each other. One of them's gotta know where Praun's got Evan stashed.
Harvey: Alright. What if they don't crack?
Nash: Ah, you throw a life vest to a buch of drowning morons, they'll give up their own mother.
(Nash and Caitlin are each on dates, and get seated next to each other at a resturant)
Caitlin: This is kind of weird.
Nash: I'll say.
Caitlin: I was wondering if you could go someplace else.
Caitlin: Go someplace else.
Nash: Wh-- We're here first. We're about to order.
Caitlin: I'm on a first date.
Nash: Oh, yeah? Well, it looks like the last one to me, sister.
Caitlin: You know what? He happens to brilliant and he's very successful.
Nash: You don't have to convince me.
Caitlin: I don't know how you did this, but you did this on purpose.
Nash: Yeah, right. I came here for dinner. How was I supposed to know that you were gonna come here, too?
Caitlin: You know what? I will never forget this. (Caitlin turns and walks right into a waiter carrying a dinner and gets it all over her dress)
Nash (laughs): Me neither.
Joe: Alright me and Nick made a sizable donation to the B'Nith Beth Hillel summer camp.
Nash: The what?
Joe: It's a Jewish summer camp. Kids go there to study Talmud. They do aarchery, play soccer, football... It's great.
Nash: Ah. Okay. Fine. What do you and Nick get outta this?
Joe: Well... (mutters) A taz write-off.
Nash: I'm sorry. You- You said something. But you have to speak up, you see.
Joe: A small tax write-off.
Nash: Nick has virtually no income. What write-off?
Joe: Well, technically I get the write-off. He sold Mr. Woody to me, I donated him to the summer camp. I get the write off and give him a percentage of the cash back. That's all there is too. Actually, I think it's pretty smart.
Nash: Only pretty smart?
Nash: I mean, you're defrauding the IRS and a religious organization. Hell, it's brillant.
Joe (after some lady's person got stolen in front of them): You're a police captain, you don't do purse snatchings.
Nash: Ah, it's because I am a police captain. (the guy is on rollerblades and is gliding down hill on the sidewalk)
Joe: This guy's gonna break somebody's neck.
Nash: Yeah, hopefully his own. (the guy gains speed and as Nash cuts him off, he hops right over the top of the 'Cuda) Wow.
Joe: Hmm. Little embarassing if the captain doesn't catch the purse snatcher.
Nash: So, I hear that you're in the horse racin' business again.
Joe: Nick tell you that?
Nash: Oh, no, I can't get a word in edgewise with him. He's too busy on the phone with veterenians, and track officials and trainers. All about Mr. Woody.
Joe: Well, we got great news. It seems that the vet that diagnoised him with a bowed tendon was all wrong, we went to two other vets and had him checked out. He's fine. He's ready to race.
Joe: And what?
Nash: Yeah, exactly. It's the 'ant what' part.
Joe: You know what, bro, you have a very supicious mind.
Nash: Thank you! I'm a cop. So now what's goin' on?
Joe: Look, Nick and I worked it out, it doesn't involve you. So you can just relax. Jeez.
Nash: Uh huh. So... I'm not gonna hear about how it all went wrong at some later point?
Nash: Is that yes I will? Or yes I will not?
Joe: I'm not even gonna dignify that with an answer, man.
Nash: Well how about a head nod? (Joe shakes his head) Does that mean 'no' or does that mean--
Joe: Will you just drive and let me live my life. Damn!
Nash: Uh, well, it's your life. But it's my father.
Joe: Okay, nothing's gonna happen. I guarantee it. Feel better?
Harvey: Oh, boss.
Harvey: Zoe's upstairs in holding. Her water just broke.
Nash: Well, of course!
Nick: I delievered a baby once.
Nash: Harvey, call 911. (to Nick) You come with me. She'll probably have twins when she sees you between her legs.
(After Miranda sees people are watching Cassidy and Evan practically having sex on the internet, she calls Nash)
Nash: Captian Bridges, SIU.
Miranda: Hi, it's Miranda. I need Cassidy's cell phone number it's an emergency.
Nash: What kinda emergency, Miranda?
Miranda: Uh, I can't tell you, okay? Um, just gimme the number.
Miranda: Oh God, umm... Okaay call Cassidy and tell her to stop immediatly, whatever it is that she's doing.
Nash: Miranda you cannot call here and tell me that there's an emergency and not tell me what it is.
Miranda: Okay, fine. Um, you know what go online and go on my website, it's mirandacam.com. Just don't say, I didn't warn you, okay? (Nash hangs up)
Nick: What's going on?
Nash (as he's typing the website in): Shh. (they see what's happening and Nash immediatly picks up the phone and dials)
Nick: Oh, no wonder the internet craze is exploding. Oh. (covers his eyes)
Nash: Pick up, Cassidy. (covers his eyes) Damn it, Cassidy. Pick up.
(Cuts to Evan and Cassidy)
Evan: Aren't you gonna answer that?
Cassidy: No. It's probably just that prank caller again.
(Cuts to Nash and Nick. Through the computer screen Nash hears Evan telling Cassidy to stop and answer the phone)
Nash: God bless you, Evan. (Cassidy tells Evan to stay) No! (Evan gets up and hands her her phone and she answers)
Nash: Cassidy, this is your daddy.
Cassidy: Daddy, this really isn't a good time, okay?
Nash: Oh, baby you don't know the half of it. (he tells her she's being watched online and she hides the camera) Yes!
Nash: You hear that?
Nash: It's quiet. When was the last time it was quiet in the SIU?
Joe: Uh, never.
(After Nash makes a date)
Joe: So, I guess the mourning period is offically over. Do you think Caitlin's gonna freak out?
Nash: Joe, this is not high school and we're not high school kids. Besides how's she gonna find out?
Nash: Patience is a virtue but it ain't one of mine, brother.
Music Featured In This Episode
1. Bawitdaba - Kid Rock
2. The Ballad Of Ressurection Joe And Rosa Whore - Rob Zombie