Nash Bridges

Nash: Just out of curiousity did you have anything to do with this? Joe: Uh, which part? Nash: Oh, I don't know. How about the part where I wake up in the paddy wagon with the guy trying to steal my shoes. Joe: That happened? Nash: Oh, only to be surpassed by the guy that threw up on him. Joe: He's back. I love that attitude. He didn't barf on your new two-tones did he? (Nash gives him a look)

(On the paddy wagon, a criminal is trying to steal Nash's shoes. Nash wakes up) Nash: What are you doing? Criminal: I didn't know you wanted these shoes! Nash (kicks him in the face): I do... backoff. Meathead.

Nash (moaning with his head on his desk): I need a nice cold--- Harvey: Hang in there boss, caverly's coming. (mixes the kelp Evan brings him into the mix) Nash: Oh, Harv, you're...you're a great cop. You have a beautiful soul... Harvey: Likewise. (Harvey pours this shake into a glass) Evan: Oh! That stuff is vile! Harvey: Shh. (walks over to Nash's desk) Okay, boss, drink that. Nash: What is it? Harvey: Special shake, man. Make you feel better. Nash (lifts his head up from his desk, his sunglasses are all crooked, he sniffs the drink): Mmm, smells fresh. Oceany. (he takes a sip) Mmm. One word: Yum!

(After Evan and Michelle up date Nash on a case, and he doesn't say anything, and they just keep talking, until they've told him everything) Evan: Did we forget something? Nash: Did either of you see that PBS special... on whales. You know those one's they put into the amusement parks? (they look confused) Terrible. What those poor animals go through. (Joe pulls Evan and Michelle to the side) Bye! Joe: Listen why don't you guys take these two back to interrogation. Michelle and I will run the statements. Evan, why don't you go help Harv okay? Evan: Okay. What's up with, Nash? Joe: He was working undercover last night. He's out drinkin' with this biker couple and they got suspicious and dosed him with some psycadilic nonesense. (Nash is in the background, he pours all of his pens out of the pen holder and Evan laughs) It's not funny. Just stay with him, okay? Evan: Okay. (Michelle and Joe walk away. Evan walks by Nash's desk and whistles and Nash points at him and smiles and Evan laughs) Harvey (he's making some drink for Nash): Evan. Be part of the solution. We need some kelp here. Evan: What kinda help do you need? Harvey: K-K-Kelp. You know on the shore. (points out the window) You know over there. Evan: Kelp? Harvey: Yeah. Evan: Okay, cool, cool, got it.

Nash: I am fine, I am just a little goofy, I am not drugged. Joe: Nashman, you are looped, dude. Nash: What is gonna take to prove to you bubbas that you're wrong? Harvey: Boss, can you count backwards from 100 by 7's? Nash: How bout you count backwards? Harvey: 100...93...it's a bad test. Nash: See there? Ooh...does anyone not feel their lower extremities besides me? (Harvey and Joe look at each other) Forget it, I'm going back to work. (He turns around and walks right into the wall and falls down)