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Special Agent Katz
Mary Tad: I wanted to thank you, Joe. If you hadn't introduced me to Nash, I might not have realized that well, I've gotta go home. Well, that's where I've got my family and my friends. Well, the roots and the kinds of commitments I'm looking for in my life.
Nash: I understand.
Joe: I- I don't.
Nash: Oh, yeah. I think you do.
Katz: This is for you. Hotel bill and room service charges. Unfortunatly two-room suites at Hotel Savannah are not reminbursible by the F.B.I. So, I've instructed the hotel to bill you directly.
Joe: Get real. After we got your guns back for 'ya?
Katz: No, I got my guns back. With a little help from you, I admit. And now that I have my guns back you guys don't have a whole hell of a lot of leverage, do 'ya?
Nash: Well, that's not totally true.
Joe: Hey, look, press, a lot of 'em.
Nash: I know how much you love publicity and I'll even get your photo approved. Personally, I would pick this one right here, 'cause you look really snazzy in that one. And she looks-- Are those real?
Katz: Gimme those.
Nash: Uh uh uh.
Katz: Fine, I'll eat the hotel bill.
Katz: Now gimme the pictures.
Nash: Well, I probably would have if you didn't try to stiff me with the hotel bill. But we have one other little issue. You see my partner there? His car got blown up by a grenade launcher. Can you imagine some fool let it out on the street?
Katz: Come on, you're not gonna hold me responsible for that.
Nash: Now, that is an asset seizure car there, right?
Katz: Yeah, so?
Nash: Joe, how'd you like to move up to a 7 series?
Joe: Nothing would make me happier.
Katz: Forget it, guys. It's not gonna happen. There's no--
Nash (waving to the press): Hi!
Katz: Alright, fine. Here. (hands Nash the keys and Nash hands him the pictures)
Nash (to Joe): Happy driving. (to Katz) Oh, and listen, when you talk to them make sure you take a little credit for yourself.
Joe (after Nash does a J-turn): You love doing that, don't 'ya?
Joe: So uh, how'd it go last night?
Nash: Oh, we need to talk about last night. Yes, we do. (Nash takes a phone call)
Joe: Did I tell you the latest about my car?
Nash: Bubba, are you changing the subject on me? I thought last night was at the top of your agenda.
Joe: It seems that I can buy the most comprehensive auto insurance in the world but if I get hit by a hand grenade, a nuclear warhead, or a rocket launcher, you're not gonna collect.
Nash: Now, about last night, sweetheart.
Michelle: So, what I do all the work and you guys take all the credit. Is that it?
Nash: No. We work together and Katz takes all the credit because he can't live without it and we can. Got it?
Joe: Mary Tad Bridges. It's got a nice ring. Speaking of rings, I guess I'd better dust off the old tux. Best man is a lock, right?
Nash: Maybe I oughta get through the second date before you start planning the wedding, huh?
Joe: I'm just glad I could facilitate getting you two beautiful kids together.
Nash (laughs): You know, bubba, normally I'd be highly suspicious, but this time you mighta just knocked one outta the park.
Joe: I'll start working on my toast.
Katz: Did you read this letter from your chief? I think the word 'coroporation' is in here four times.
Nash: Katzo, I told 'ya I'd call 'ya if anything--
Katz: Bridges, if those guns aren't found, it's my ass, not yours.
Nash: Oh, I'm very clear that what we're dealing with here is your ass.
Katz: Look, I apologize for any problems on my side, okay? Now how about you?
Nash: Alright, fine, we accept your apology.
Harvey (holding a shell casing): I bet that hurt.
Evan: You're getting a little sentimental in your old age, Harv.
Harvey: Gang members are people, too. As much as I hate to admit it.
Joe (about Nash's blind date): You can't just tantilize me like that. I need details, specifics.
Nash: Uh, I don't kiss and talk. Plus, we're late. Bring your coffee.
Joe: Can you draw?
Nash: I can but I've always been bad with hands.
Joe: That's not what I hear.
Joe: Man, I cannot wait to get my new car. If we keep showing up to work together people will think we're living together.
Nash (laughs): They already do. Coffee?
Joe: Please. Ooh, flowers. Who could they be from, me?
Nash: Uh, nope, not you.
Joe: You mean, I've been replaced by somebody who admires you more?
Nash: Can you believe that?
Joe (holding the card): Mind if I peak?
Nash: You will anyway. Go ahead.
Joe: So are you in or out?
Joe: Hey, man. I'm not gonna tell my nurse to meet you at the restaurant if I'm not sure that you're gonna be there.
Nash: I never told you to set that up in the first place.
Joe: Okay, okay. I'll just cancel it. If you really want me to. I mean, if you really want to hurt her feelings and mine, I mean, if you really want to blow what could be the possibility of a lifetime, okay.
Nash: You're not gonna let this go, are 'ya?
Joe: Hey, no pressure.
Nash: Yeah, right.
Joe: Look, you just tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it.
Nash: Alright, I'm in.
Joe: Hey, you won't regret this.
Nash: You might.
Nash: So Katzoid is in the hay rollin' when the weapons are being stolen.
Nash: This guy. (laughs) I never think he's going to surprise me and then he does.
Nash: I'm picking up whom at eight?
Joe: Hey, you didn't say no. And I gave you every opportunity in the world to say 'no.' So what I figured is that you wanted to say 'yes.' So I figured, why wait?
Nash: Mmhmm. Dominguez logic strikes again.
Joe: Nashman, you go out on this date, you're gonna spend the rest of your life wondering 'how can I repay my really good friend Joe Dominguez?'
Nash: Is that right? And you set up dinner?
Joe: As a matter of fact, I did. Long Life Restaurant, you can pick her up at my place at 8.
Harvey: Excuse me, excuse me, if I may interject, you never want to pick up a blind date.
Joe: Yeah, why is that?
Harvey: Because you want to meet her there, that way, if it's a train wreck you can bail out.
Nash: Excuse me, I haven't even said I'm going to do this yet.
Harvey: Nash, dinner's at 8, right? I'm going to call your cell phone at 8:45 exactly 45 minutes in and that way, you can cut out if you need to.
Joe: He's not gonna need the call. And Harvey, why don't you mind your own damn business?
Nash: Yeah, exactly. I'm not gonna need the call because I'm not goin'.
Joe: Uh, interesting cop, this Michelle.
Nash: Yeah, she is.
Joe: She kind of reminds me a little of you when you were young and cute.
Nash: Define 'cute', bubba.
Joe: Define 'cute'. Mary Tad Butler. That's cute.
Nash: No, no, no, no. Not again. Uh uh.
Joe: Man, I look out for you, I try to find you romance and happiness, and I get no appreciation, man.
Nash: Well, what's the rub, Joe? There's always a rub.
Joe: Can't I do something out of the goodness of my heart? Man, you're my best friend. I just happen to think that you two guys would it it off, y'know?
Nash: And it's just because you think we'd hit it off?
Joe: She's your type, man. She's sexy, she's beautiful, she's fun, she's great with children.
Nash: Uh, you should've stopped with fun.
Joe: Look, we'll just make it some sort of casual get together, no big deal.
Nash (smiling): I didn't say yes.
Joe: Alright, but you didn't say no.
Nash: Didn't say yes.
Joe: Didn't say no.
Nash: What do you want out of this? I mean, what would be your ideal outcome?
Michelle: I don't want to lose the car theft ring. And if Miles and Vaughn go down, I want credit.
Michelle: That's it? I'm just supposed to believe you?
Joe: Hey, look at that face. What's not to trust? (Nash smiles wide)
Nash: Where do I find them?
Michelle: At the Little City Diner, they eat lunch there everyday.
Nash: You've got a deal.
Katz: Do you know who I am?
Michelle: The owner of a heinous tie? (Joe and Nash smirk)
Katz: I want an update.
Nash: Uh, based on what?
Katz: Based on the fact that I haven't heard from you so I know you're up to something.
Nash: Uh, you wouldn't happen to have anything new for us, would 'ya, Katz?
Katz: Last names. Miles Wincroft and Vaughn Smith. B & E guys, no local addresses.
Nash: Not bad.
Joe: I finally got my baby problem solved. Man, this new nanny, awesome.
Nash: The southern girl?
Joe: Mmmhmm. Her name is Mary Tad Butler. She's from Georgia.
Nash: Oh, and Inger likes her?
Joe: Inger loves her. Lucia loves her. I love her. Hey, you know what? You'd love her, too.
Nash: What the hell's that supposed to mean?
Joe: Hey, maybe you should meet her.
Nash: As in, take her out, meet her?
Joe: What a good idea.
Nash (laughs): Oh, no way, bubba. I do not do blind dates.
Joe: This isn't a blind date. This is you taking her out for coffee or something casual like that, hardly qualifies as a blind date.
Nash: Ah, but perhaps, you're forgetting the last date that you made for me.
Joe: Ah, I'm kind of foggy, remind me.
Nash: Uh uh, you're foggy. Well, let me see if I can refresh your memory. Does the tickle babe from hell ring any bells?
Joe: Alright, man. It wasn't my fault. She looked perfectly normal with her clothes on. Look, I guarantee that you'll love this girl. I'm talking about love this girl.
Evan: Is that him?
Nash: That's him. Get after him, boys. Run him down! (Harv and Evan start chasing the suspect who's in a wheelchair) They don't have a chance.
Joe: Not a prayer.
Katz: You better have a good reason for dragging me all the way down here.
Nash: Oh, I do. We found somethin' that belongs to you. I thought maybe you'd want it back.
Katz: Anybody could've put F.B.I on the stock.
Nash: Oh, it's not yours? You don't want it? Well, alright, we'll keep it.
Katz: Yeah, alright, it's mine. Now where'd you get it?
Joe: Oh, some skag tried to vaporize us with it. You wanna tell us what the hell's going on?
Katz: It's a very sensitive situation.
Nash: You know what I'm thinkin', Joe? I'm thinkin' that if we call the Chronicle right now they'd love to get a picture of this baby on the front cover. What do you say?
Joe: Especially with the F.B.I stamp all over it.
Katz: Alright, look, an F.B.I suburban was stolen three days ago along with weapons stowed inside for anti-terrorist exercises.
Nash: Uh, be more specific.
Katz: We lost 10 grenade launchers, 30 MP-5 assault rifles, 300 grenades, 5,000 rounds of ammunition along with some body armour and shields.
Nash (laughs): And it never occurred to you that you might wanna tell us this? You have leads, I hope.
Katz: Hell yes, we've got leads.
Joe: What leads? What leads? (Katz is silent)
Nash: Uh, excuse me. (pointing to Joe's car) You see that right there? We almost got our asses smoked in that thing. Now either you give or I dial.
Katz: Yeah, alright. We canvased the area and came up with multiple witnesses who gave similar descriptions of the same two suspects. (pulls out a paper from his jacket) Here they are.
Nash: Oh, he just happens to have them in his pocket. Have you I.D'd them yet?
Katz: No but we think they're a couple of car thieves.
Nash: Now, lemme get this straight. A couple of slackers stroll into the F.B.I garage, pass all those special agents, all that high-tech security and drive out with a car load of weapons?
Katz: Actually, the suburban was parked on the street.
Katz: I can't tell you that.
Nash: I think you can.
Katz: Look, I'm willing to work with you Bridges, but I can only go so far. Now there are certain details of this that I can't reveal for reasons of bureau security.
Nash: So what you're saying is, the bureau is aware of this situation all the way back to Washington?
Katz: Listen, Bridges. Alright, I made a mistake, okay? I should've come to you earlier. Now, I think that if we put our heads together and you stick with me on this, we can wrap this thing up and no one will ever be the wiser.
Nash (laughing): He's flying by the seat of his pants.
Katz: Yes, I am. And I could really use your help on this.
Nash: We'll see what we can do.
(The grenade launcher is property of the F.B.I)
Nash: Bubba, check it out.
Joe: I guess that's what you'd call friendly fire.
Nash: It wasn't that friendly otherwise you'd still have a car.
Nash: Michelle, we need your help.
Michelle: Oh yeah, sure. You know, whatever you guys were working on must be more important than my gig, because I was only going to bust a major car theft ring. But hey, I know what's important in cop work. What really matters is that you don't degrade the lines of authority, or seniority, or chain of command. So tell me gentlemen, what can I do for you?
Joe: Does this make you feel real old?
(Nash and Joe are chasing a suspect, Joe is driving)
Nash: Watch him, watch him. On the left side, left side.
Joe: I got him, I got him.
Nash: Hurry up, c'mon catch him. All the damn times for the 'cuda to be in the shop with a tune up.
Joe: Gee, what do you think you're the only guy that can run down a guy?
Nash: I'll let you know when and if we catch him.
Joe: If? Bubba this guy's toast.
Nash: Watch him, here we go.
Joe: He's locked in, he's on radar. (they make a sharp turn)
Nash: Oh no! (closes his eyes and holds on)
Joe: How do you like that handling?
Nash: I'm sure if I opened my eyes I'd be really impressed.
Kelly Hu and Don Johnson played in the movie Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man together.
Actress Susan Walters starred as Priscilla Beaulieu Presley in the 1988 TV movie, Elvis and Me, based on Priscilla's autobiographical book with the same name.
Kelly Hu (Michelle Chan) joins the Cast. She will be Guest Starring in 6 episodes.
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