Evan: So, what's up with you this morning, Harv? You're in a strange mood.
Harvey: Oh, very little sleep last night, brother.
Evan: Oh, why's that?
Harvey: Heidi came back to my place last night. Wild animal sex all night long, barely got my clothes on and made it to work. I don't care, though. Whatever happens today, last night was worth it.
Evan: Harvey, I- I feel so used.
Harvey: Used and abused, brother. How many women have I missed out on by not going to pot-lucks?
Nash: Are you sure that you're okay, bubba?
Joe: Yeah, I'm okay, just pissed. Man, they had to know that I was a cop, they went straight for my gun.
Nash: Yeah, then your golf bag. Maybe Jennifer was trying to give you something.
Joe: Maybe. Whatever it was, the bad guys have it now.
Nash: Yeah, either that or your carjacker wants to play in the Ryder cup.
Joe: So you wanna tell us your husband's name so we can go and get him?
Darlene Peck: You think I went through seven surgeries to get this look to throw it away with a slip of a tongue?
Nash: Uh, darlin', you first lost when you slipped your tongue down his.. (points to her lover) ... throat. Now are you gonna be a good girl and talk to me or do I have to get out my pliers?
Caitlin: Now, I know this is gonna sound like I have an axe to grind, Nash, but I don't. I really don't.
Nash: Ah, the personal disclaimer. This is gonna be better than I thought.
Caitlin: Well, I finished my review and um... this is it. With the number of cops in the unit and the square footage of the barge, and the cost to the department... I'm gonna have to recommend that the S.I.U be moved on shore and into the Embarcadero Center, and that the department use the barge as a warehouse facility. ... I thought you'd be mad.
Nash: Mad? Why would I be mad over something that's not gonna happen?
Caitlin: It's gonna happen, Nash.
Nash: Sister, you don't have enough fingers on those little ol' hands of yours to pull those strings.
Caitlin: Everytime you call me 'sister' it makes me more determinded.
Nash: Well, good luck, sister.
Caitlin: I won't need luck.
(After the storage building blew up)
Caitlin: Where's Nash?
Joe: I don't know. He got here before I did. The 'cuda's here and he's not.
Harvey: Was the body-- ?
Joe: I don't know, they're gonna need records to I.D. it. (next shot of them is in the S.I.U standing around and pacing)
Caitlin: Any word?
Joe: No, not yet.
Caitlin: He hasn't called?
Caitlin: Well, nothing from the corner?
Joe: No, nothing.
Nash (reaching the SIU on a boat): A'hoy mateys! Take this line. (Nash throws Evan the line)
Joe: Wh-Wh- What the-- Where--
Nash: Spit it out.
Joe: Where have you been? Why didn't you call?
Nash: My battery was dead. We were out on the water.
Joe: You should've called!
Nash: I told you I tried to call. My battery went dead. (Nash uncuffs the suspects, they climb up the laddar, he follows them)
Joe: You should've called, man.
Nash: What the hell's the matter with you?
Joe: We thought you were dead?
Nash: Dead?! (laughs) Because I didn't call?
Joe: No, because they blew up the storage place. After they got the fire out, there was nothing left. (Nash stops walking and grabs Joe's arm)
Nash: Not the 'Cuda! The 'Cuda's gone?
Joe: The 'Cuda's fine, it's alright.
Caitlin: You know, it figures the only thing that you'd be worried about is your stupid car.
Nash: Hey, sweet pea! (he kisses her)
Harvey (to Caitlin): 'Ya gotta love him.
Caitlin: Not really.
Richard Peck: Now, I don't know what you're implying here, and I don't know why you think that you can come here and do that.
Nash: Well, to tell you the truth, Mr. Peck, I haven't really stitched all the pieces together myself yet. But I do know this, somethings aren't always what they seem.
Richard Peck: Meaning what?
Nash: Meaning that somethings aren't always what they seem.
(After Harvey just bought Caitlin's car)
Caitlin: Congratulations, you are now the proud owner of an environmentally friendly automobile. Come on, come on, try it on for size, see if it fits.
Harvey (gets in the car): Oh, yeah. Im a chick magnet now.
Caitlin: Oh, I'm gonna have to beat 'em off with a stick.
(Someone has put C4 in Joe's exercise bike and if he stops pedaling it'll explode. Nash comes over to disarm it)
Nash (sees the C4): Well, he wasn't pulling your leg.
Joe: Oh, god.
Nash: Uh, what level are you pedaling on?
Joe: Uhh, seven.
Nash: I think you can go down to one.
Joe: You sure?
Nash: Pretty sure. (he turns the level down to one. Nothing happens. He then takes a minute and disarms the bomb) Okay, you can stop pedaling now.
Joe: Are you sure?
Nash: Well, if I'm wrong with both go. (he puts a hand over his eyes and Joe stops pedaling and gets off the bike) What happened, man? You forget to pay your personal trainer?
Evan (about Harvey buying Caitlin's electric car): Tell me that you're kidding.
Harvey: I'm not kidding. Show me where to plug in. (Evan laughs)
Nash: Excuse me, what are you doing?
Caitlin: I'm just taking some measurements. Strictly routine, Nash. Part of my general audit of the S.I.U.
Nash: No, no. See, if you were a tailor taking measurements would be routine. (to the guy with the tape measure) What are you doing?
Gordon: I'm just the guy with the--
Nash (cutting him off): Who are you? What's your name?
Nash: Gordon, what are you doing?
Gordon: I make no decisions here believe me.
Nash (to Caitlin): What decisions?
Caitlin: Can you please jut let me do my job, alright? If there are results to be had, I'll send you the results.
Nash: Don't think that you can just come in here and do some sort of coup de tate or menage a trois or some sort of french thing like that.
Joe: Hey, I got a couple tickets for that Giants, Montreal game tommorrow. You wanna go?
Nash: I would love to, but Cassidy's got a play.
Joe: Oh, yeah? She's back into the theatre thing? What happened to the CIA thing?
Nash (laughs): That went away, thank God, and lucky for me. She's 20 years old, man, next thing looks better than the last.
Joe: I bet she ends up being a cop.
Nash: What did I do to you?
Joe: What's so bad about that?
Nash: It's not gonna happen.
Joe: Alright, I don't think that's what she's thinkin'.
Nash: Oh, really? So what is she thinkin'?
Joe: It's the whole dad-hero thing. It's so Freudian it's bound to happen.
Nash: That is so lame.
Joe: Okay, Nashman. I got a brain teaser for 'ya.
Nash: What if my brain doesn't want to be teased?
Joe: Eh, if you get this right, you're a genius. (starts reading the brain teaser from the magazine) "Four families live in a row of houses on the same street, they are Swiss, Canadian, German, and Mexican. They each have one pet-- A dog, a parakeet, a goldfish and a cat, but not necesiarly in that order. Now, the mexican family lives left to right between the Swiss and Canadian families. The parakeet and the dog's family's aren't German. The cat lives two houses away from the parakeet."
Nash: Uh, you know I only got about four hours of fuel left in this tank.
Joe: "The Mexican family doesn't own the dog or the cat. The German's house is to the left of the Swiss house."
Nash: Is there a question anytime in the near future?
Joe: Alright, here's the question. "If the dog doesn't live on either end of the street. Which family owns the goldfish?"
Nash: The Canadian family.
Joe (checks the answer): How'd you figure that one out?
Nash: I used to live on that street.
Evan (about Heidi): Harvey. So ah, what'd she want?
Harvey: Oh, the long and the short of it, buddy, is that our one night together convinced her she's gay. Thanks for asking.