Nash Bridges

Season 5 Episode 3

Smash and Grab

Aired Friday 10:00 PM Oct 08, 1999 on CBS



  • Trivia

    • Nash finally gets a settlement from the money he lost in High Fall (S4 Ep01). He lost the money because his accountant embezzled the money, and the case is over now.

  • Quotes

    • Nash: Well, howdy, Drew. Now that's a genuine miracle. Up and walkin' around like that, huh?
      Joe: Hallelujah. Say cheese. (takes a picture of Drew, Drew loses his balance and falls off the ledge)
      Nash: Ut oh.
      Joe: Ooh, that's gotta hurt.
      Nash: Ehh. I don't think that he's fakin' this time.

    • Joe: Hey, where 'ya goin'?
      Nash: What do you mean, 'Where am I goin'? I've been tryin' to call you on your cell for the last hour.
      Joe: Oh, my battery must be dead.
      Nash: Oh. Tell me you got somethin' good on Cranston.
      Joe: Well, he hasn't left his wheelchair.
      Nash: Well, what are you doin' here?
      Joe: My cover got blown.
      Nash: So, what you're sayin' is that we got nothin', right?
      Joe: Well, not exactly nothin'. See, that Mr. Cranston's a peeping tom.
      Nash: So, how's that help us? (Joe smiles at Nash, they walk over to Caitlin's desk)
      Caitlin: What? What's goin' on?
      Nash (pulls out the I.O.U): I'm going to have to redeem this. (Nash and Joe put on huge smiles for her)

    • Caitlin: Hey.
      Nash: Hi.
      Caitlin (hands Nash a piece of paper): Here.
      Nash (reads the paper): 'I.O.U. Caitlin.' What does this mean?
      Caitlin: Well, it's an I.O.U.
      Nash: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got that part, smarty-pants. What does it mean?
      Caitlin: Well, it means that if you're clever, and thoughtful when you redeem it, you might just get what you ask for.
      Nash: Intriguing.
      Caitlin: I guess it's just my way of saying I made an honest mistake, Nash. I should've never tried to reorganize your bills. Well, if it's any consolation, you know, I really don't mind if you're poor.
      Nash: I'm not sure I believe you but...
      Caitlin: And you know, we still do have my salary so...
      Nash: Ah, living off of you. Now there's something to look forward to.
      Caitlin: I think maybe you could get used to it, hmm? (they kiss)

    • Eladio: Now pretend that I'm Holdzclaw and that you're on the stand.
      Nash: Okay, fine. You're Holdzclaw.
      Eladio: What exactly did Mr. Dominguez say to you immediately prior to the accident?
      Nash: I don't remember exactly what he was saying. I think I was saying something about my former accountant.
      Eladio: So your memory for that time period is not clear?
      Nash: No, I'm perfectly clear about the issue at hand here. Which is that, your client ran into my car.
      Eladio (looks to his left): Objection, your honor. Non-responsive.
      Nash: Who you talkin' to, Eladio?
      Eladio: The judge.
      Nash (laughs): This is ridiculous.
      Eladio: It's your theory that while you were having a conversation that you don't remember, you saw a 160lb roller blader voluntary throw himself into the path of your moving 3,000lb vehicle?
      Nash: It is not my theory. It is what happened, Eladio.
      Eladio (laughs): That's priceless. Do you bring this kind of powerful deductive reasoning to all of your police cases?
      Nash: I'm not gonna ask any more of these stupid questions, I'll tell 'ya that.
      Eladio: Because you never did see Mr. Cranston, did you? Not until after he was struck by your car and was wheels up on the pavement!
      Nash: Eladio, are you out of your mind? That's a bold faced lie!
      Eladio: You're calling me a liar?
      Nash: I am. You're a liar!
      Eladio: Who's the liar here, Captain Bridges?
      Nash: Eladio, how much am I paying you to berate me like this?
      Eladio: Oh, my standard fee. $300 an hour.
      Nash: Well, good, stop the clock. 'Cause we're done!

    • Joe: What is this?
      Eladio: Cranston counter our counter sue by suing you.
      Joe: What?
      Eladio: He's saying that you failed to prevent the accident by warning Nash of upcoming danger.
      Joe: Oh, man. That is a load of bull. Hey, this is a bluff, right? Kinda like our counter suit?
      Eladio: It is possible to argue that you were distracting Nash by the process of talking.
      Joe (scoffs): Not in this universe.
      Nash (walks by): What'd I miss?
      Joe: Oh, hey, check this out. Now, Cranston wants to sue me.
      Nash: Oh, good. That way we can both settle together.
      Eladio: You've decided to settle?
      Joe: We ain't settlin' anything, man. Forget these guys, we're goin' to the mat.
      Nash: Now you're talkin'.
      Joe: They picked a fight with the wrong guy.
      Nash: Now that's the spirit.
      Eladio: Trust me, both of you this is not a smart move.
      Joe: Eladio, get it through your head, we're not settling.
      Nash: Is there an echo in here?
      Joe: I'll prove that Cranston's faking his injuries.
      Nash: Now, that's the Joe Dominguez that I know and love so well. Are we talking scheme here?
      Joe: Hey, my money's involved. You're damn right we're talkin' scheme.
      Nash: If there was ever time for it, bubba, this would be it.

    • (After Tony the expert just recreated the accident)
      Nash: So, what you're saying is that there is absolutely no way that this could be an accident?
      Tony: That would be my testimony. (Nash holds out his hands)
      Eladio: Could I see you in private? (Nash and Eladio walk to the side)
      Nash: Eladio, you don't have to apologize to me, sometimes you just have to see these things with your own eyes. I mean--
      Eladio: It doesn't matter.
      Nash: What doesn't matter?
      Eladio: They'll come up with their own expert who will testify that Cranston was hit by accident.
      Nash (laughs): No, no, no, see, Tony proves that I'm right.
      Eladio: No, no. At best, he mitigates your damages.
      Nash: Doesn't anybody care what's right or wrong anymore?
      Eladio: Civil litigations isn't about right or wrong. It's about settling. It's about reaching a striking point. Tony's testimony may save you 10, or 20,000 dollars but it doesn't get you off the hook.
      Nash: So what you're saying, is that even if the foremost expert says I'm innocent, I'm still gonna be bankrupt, only I'm be 20,000 dollars less bankrupt.
      Eladio: That's what I'm sayin'.
      Nash: That's messed up, Eladio. I'm not settlin'.

    • Joe: So?
      Nash: Nothin'. Cranston's clean. No history of insurance fraud. The guy's a choir boy.
      Eladio: What about his lawyer?
      Nash: Same thing.
      Joe: You know, you think that if they were faking it there'd be some history of it.
      Nash: There's something not right here, alright?
      Joe: Look, Nash, I know this is hard for 'ya but maybe you should think about settling, you know, get this whole thing behind you.
      Nash: You think I'm wrong?
      Joe: Well, maybe, yes.
      Nash: I am not wrong!

    • Harvey: You should've stayed out longer, bro.
      Evan: Ah, I couldn't. If I would've stayed out any longer I'da been forgotten.

    • Eladio: Oh, my god. We're dead.
      Joe: Dead? What are you talking about?
      Eladio: They've got a sympathetic victim hit by an expensive car, a laundry list of debilitating injuries. Are you aware that California is a pedestrian friendly state?
      Nash: Of course I know that, nimrod. I'm a cop. Now what the hell was all of that mumbo-jumbo about specious claims and all that?
      Eladio: Hot air and Holdzclaw knows it.
      Nash: That guy set me up. He saw me comin' in the 'cuda and figured me for deep pockets. The bastard set me up.
      Eladio: That kind of confrontation attitude won't buy you any friends with the jury.
      Nash: Are you gonna help me out even remotely or not?
      Eladio: We've gotta try something. I'll counter sue Cranston for malicious prosecution and intentional infliction of emotional stress.
      Nash: Alright, good. That's a start.
      Eladio: But Holdzclaw will know that it's just a bluff. We need to think settlement, Nash. Find an amount of money that everyone can live with.
      Nash: Okay. Well, I-I know the amount of money that I can live with. Zero!

    • Nash: Hello, Drew. I would've thought that you'd still be on life support.
      Mitchell: Haven't you done enough to my client without harassing him?
      Nash: I haven't even started. And by the way, you're next. I know what kind of scam that you're runnin' and you damn sure ain't gonna run it on me, pal.
      Drew (groans, to Mitchell): I think it's time for my pain pill.
      Nash: Give me a break!
      Eladio: Nash, this is their meeting. Let's hear what they have to say.
      Mitchell: My client is willing to drop his suit in exchange for $250,000, a written apology and a new set of T-3200 inline skates, size 9.
      Nash (laughs): That's very funny. Not in this lifetime. Or any other.

    • Nash: Didn't Billy Hopkins do time at Corkrin State? Anybody?
      Caitlin: You oughta check the file, Nash. It's probably right in the file, right where it should be.
      Nash: Oh, and where would that file be? Just haphazardly thrown on someone's desk around here anywhere or maybe it's stuck in a drawer? (Caitlin clears her throat and picks up the file off Nash's desk)

    • Nash (hands Joe a piece of paper): Check it out.
      Joe: What's this?
      Nash: Today is a momentous day, my brother.
      Joe (looking at the letter): Bankruptcy? Oh, this is that embezzlement case with the dead accountant.
      Nash: Uh huh. That's right.
      Joe: Well, good for you. Alright!
      Nash (laughs): That chapter of my life is officially over and out.

    • Frank: Is the old man gonna be alright?
      Nash: Yeah. ... That was a decent thing that you did, Frank. Of course, the old man wouldn't have needed saving if you hadn't torched the joint.

    • (Nash is on hold with the insurance company)
      Nash: Well, the insurance company is telling me that they sent me a renewal for my car insurance and I am telling him that they did not.
      Caitlin: Did you check the bills folder?
      Nash (to the phone): Hello, Hi. Yeah, I've been getting the run around now for about ten minutes. Who am I speaking with now? Ah, Mrs. Fanzeljab. Now look-- (Caitlin takes out the bills folder and puts the renewal notice for his car on the desk in front of him) Now, I'm gonna have to call you back. (hangs up) You know what's funny here? I don't have a bills folder.
      Caitlin: Yeah, yeah you do. I created one for you. It makes things easier to find. And look, it says 'Bills' right here, block print easy to read, bills
      Nash: Yes, but you see, my car insurance has lapsed, because I didn't pay the bill, and I didn't pay the bill because you hid it.
      Caitlin: No, I filed it.
      Nash: No, no, you put it in the drawer. The end result is the same. I'm still without car insurance, and since I'm being sued 2.1 million dollars for an incident involving my car, this is really not a great time to be without car insurance.
      Caitlin: Wait, you're not suggesting that this is some how my fault?
      Nash: Well it sure as hell ain't mine.
      Caitlin: I wasn't driving the car when it hit the man, now was I?
      Nash: No, but maybe you could drive it the day we have to go to court, along with all my other possesions, to pay for the judgement.
      Caitlin: What? I thought you said that it was his fault.
      Nash: It was his fault.
      Caitlin: So the why are you yelling at me?
      Nash: Because you hid the insurance premium.
      Caitlin: Okay. Fine. You know what? I don't wanna fight about. This ridiculous. So if it will make you feel any better, I'll assume half of the responsiblity.
      Nash: Well, who's gonna assume the other half? 'Cause I'm damn sure not gonna be doing it.
      Caitlin: Fine. Then you're car might not be the only thing that you lose.
      Nash: Hey, what kinda threat is that?
      Caitlin: Any kind you want.
      Nash; Wait, wait, wait. What kinda threat is that?
      Caitlin: Any kind you want! (walks into the bedroom)
      Nash: Hey, that's my bedroom too.
      Caitlin: Not tonight.

    • Harvey: What are you thinking?
      Evan: What?
      Harvey: Dude, you're sitting there totally checked out, and then suddenly you take the other guy's side. You don't do that! You don't ever take the other guy's side.
      Evan: Harv look--
      Harvey: No. I need to know, what are you thinking?
      Evan: I don't know. I wasn't thinking.
      Harvey: You weren't thinking?! Oh, okay. That's a hell of a thing, Ev.

    • Harvey: We're looking into a jeweley heist that happened earlier this morning. I'm sure you've heard about it, yes?
      Fire Captain: Yeah, I heard it was a bunch of SFPD officers dressed as firemen. (Harvey and Evan chuckle)

    • Nash (about the suspect): Did you talk to him?
      Caitlin: I read him his rights. I left the rest for you.
      Nash: Isn't that sweet? That's so special. (they kiss and Joe rolls his eyes)

    • Caitlin: Hi. Oh, I heard. Are you okay?
      Nash: Oh yeah, I'm fine. So was the guy who hit me. He's fine too. Although you couldn't tell from the 3-act play he put on for the paramedics.
      Caitlin: How's - How's the car?
      Nash: Ah, it's fine. It's just got a little dent.
      Joe: Oh, I'm fine too, in case anybody was worried.
      Nash: He thinks that I actually ran over the guy.
      Joe: Well, it's an objective world, isn't it?
      Nash: I told you what happened. You watch, I'll be proven right.
      Joe: Oookay.

    • Joe: Jeez, you hit him.
      Nash: Like hell I did. He hit me. (cut to Nash and Joe looking at his car) Look, there's the impact point right there. Which proves that he hit me.
      Joe: Well, pedistrians have the right away. It doesn't matter where the dent is.
      Nash: Get outta here! This guy skated into me.
      Joe (laughs): You're kidding, right?
      Nash: No, I'm not kidding.
      Joe: You're saying that he ran into you on purpose?
      Nash: That's exactly what I'm saying. Did you see how much protective gear this guy had on?
      Joe: He was out rollerblading, man. Lucky for you he was wearing all that gear.
      Nash: He took a dive.
      Joe: Yeah, after you hit him.
      Nash: Before!
      Joe: Ah. No chance you could be mistaken, huh?
      Nash: Absolutely zero chance.
      Joe: Yeah well... accidents to happen, to anybody.
      Nash: This was no damn accident.

    • Nash: Where's the fire department?
      Evan: They were here and then they left. (Nash looks confused)
      Harvey: They're the ones who did it, Nash.

    • (After the finished a private invesgation gig with an Amish family)
      Nash: Never again.
      Joe: Yeah, I know. But think about the money that we made.
      Nash: Never ever again.

    • Caitlin (Nash is making dinner): I hope you're makin' somethin' really good there because, you know, you owe me.
      Nash: Whadda'ya talkin' about? Who owes who here? You tryin' to restart this fight, sister?
      Caitlin: No, no, I'm just saying I think you owe me something extra special for what I did. Well, Nash, c'mon, I just don't get down to my skivvies for just anybody, you know that.
      Nash (laughs): Isn't that special? So nice that you have that going for your little value system there.
      Caitlin: You know, Nash, I really think that you're missin' the point.
      Nash: Oh, no. I'm gettin' the point, I'm just choosing to ignore it.
      Caitlin: Alright, Fine, go ahead.
      Nash (pretends to cut himself): Ah, oh. That hurt.
      Caitlin (rushes over): Oh, what did you do? Lemme see.
      Nash: Damn. (she looks to see his hand and he grabs her and kisses her)
      Caitlin: Oh, no, no, no, no. You're not playing fair.
      Nash: I like it when you're gullible.
      Caitlin: You know, you should've kept that I.O.U.
      Nash (pulls out a piece of paper): I made a copy.
      Caitlin: Smart man. (they continue kissing)

  • Notes

  • Allusions