Goof: The guy in costume sitting on Nash's car in the beginning of the episode is obviously a doll. When Nash and Joe pick him up and move him, it's clear.
Joe: Honey, you don't have to do this.
Inger: Yes, Joe, I do. If you won't come there with me and my mother can't come here with us, I have no other choice. I have to go.
Joe: So you're saying that the only solution to this problem is splitting up our family, huh? Is that what you're saying?
Inger: This is the last time I'll ever have to spend with my mother. (kisses Joe) I'll call you when I get there.
Nash: I have a really good idea, though. Why don't I hire the maid?
Caitlin: Oh. Well, see I was one step ahead of you. I already did. She comes highly recommended and she's arriving at noon.
Nash: Why so late?
Caitlin: Well, I thought that maybe... (kisses him) we could sleep in.
Nash (laughs): I already like her hours. (kisses her) Want to go and mess up the bedroom for her?
Caitlin (laughs): Maybe. (kisses him)
(After Nick lied to Evan, saying Cassidy wasn't there)
Nick: I don't like lying, you know.
Cassidy: I'm sorry.
Nick: But I understand.
Cassidy: It's just that he really hurt me, you know? Part of me still loves him but I don't think that I'm ready to forgive him yet. Or at least let him off the hook.
Nick: Well, you'll meet someone else.
Cassidy: Oh, Grandpa, I don't wanna meet someone else. I met this guy at school and I turned him down for a date and he tried to kill himself. I mean, what is it about me that inspires such tragedy? What am I cursed? So what do I do? Do I go out with this guy just so he doesn't hurt himself or what?
Nick: Do you mean Evan or the guy from school?
Cassidy: Take your pick.
Nick: Why don't you forget 'em both?
Cassidy: That's good. No, I like that. I'm just gonna go to the hospital and I'm gonna tell this guy that I'm not interested, right?
Harvey: Boss, I hate to bring you down, but the cook's son has got an airtight alibi.
Nash: Alright. What is it?
Harvey: He was stealing DVD players out of a warehouse at the exact same time of the abduction. Which we've confirmed on time-coded surveillence tape.
Nash (laughs): Now, that's original. Innocent by reason of guilt. Maybe he set it up to clear himself.
Harvey (laughs): Not enough brainpower.
Caitlin: Well, I for one, think that all of your work that you've done for me has been fabulous. It's um, well, it's Nash, he's um... Well, he's a little more perticular.
Brigid: Yes, I've noticed.
Harvey: Say hey. You goin' shoppin'?
Jack: Who the hell are you?
Evan: I'm a cop. Who are you?
Jack: Jack. B-Bailen-- Bailen--B-B--
Harvey: Bailen... What?
Harvey: Bailenofenstein. Is that Russia?
Jack: Oh, it's Lithuania -burg.
Harvey: Oh, I wasn't aware that there was a Lithuania-burg.
Evan: Yeah, that's somewhere between France-land and Holland-ville.
Joe (taking a latte from Nash): Are you sure this is low-fat?
Nash: Well, that's what I asked for unless she's part of some high-fat conspiracy.
Nash: What are you doing?
Nick: What does it look like I'm doing? I'm vaccuuming.
Nash: Yeah, but why are you vaccuuming?
Nick: Uh, well since Brigid doesn't work here anymore, somebody's gotta do it. (Nash and Caitlin look at each other)
Nash: Well, don't look at me, I didn't fire her.
Caitlin: Well, neither did I.
Nash (looks at Nick): You didn't uh...
Nick: Hell, no. She quit. She said working with Caitlin was fine but it was just too much pressure working for the three of us. And now would be as good as time as any to tell you that we're seeing each other.
Caitlin (faking shock): No kidding?
Nash (faking shock): Really?
Brigid: Caitlin. Nash.
Nick: Well, we're off to Dottie's to breakfast.
Nash & Caitlin: Oh, ta!
Nash: Well, I guess her back spasms went away.
Caitlin: I don't know if we should allow this.
Nash (laughs): Yeah, like we're gonna change it.
(Caitlin bought Nash a work out bike, and has a hand over his eyes, walking him towards it)
Nash: You know, I'm not really fond of suprises.
Caitlin: Please, just be a good sport. Don't peek.
Nash: Don't make me run into anything.
Caitlin: I won't.
Nash: This better be good.
Caitlin: It's excellent. Alright, you ready? (takes her hand off his eyes) Ta-da!
Nash: This is your big suprise?
Caitlin: I thought it would be something we could do together.
Nash: At 7 o'clock in the morning?! Get outta here! (laughs)
Caitlin: Wait, what do you mean? It'd be good for you.
Nash (laughing): I don't think so!
Nash: There's a lotta good htings for me. You're good for me. But, uh, I'm not even sure that I like you at 7:00am. ... Just kidding. Just kidding. (the vaccuum starts) Not again.
Caitlin: It's not even her day.
Nash: Or time!
Nash: You couldn't do it, could 'ya?
Caitlin: Nope. No, I couldn't.
Nash: Why not?
Caitlin: Well, (laughs) Nash, you don't wanna know.
Nash: Well, what was it? The 49ers lost last week? She didn't win the lottery? What?
Caitlin: No, no it's because she's sleeping with your father.
Nash: What? Nick?
Caitlin: Yeah, yeah that father.
Nash: How do you know?
Caitlin: Well, let's just say I heard a little more than I needed to.
Nash (laughs): Well, that throws a little complication into the works now, doesn't it?
Caitlin: Yeah. You know, I guess you were right though, you oughta fire her.
Nash: I ougtha-- Why not you? Why can't you fire her?
Caitlin: It's your father.
Nash: She's your maid. (Caitlin glares) We'll get Nick to fire her.
Nash: So lemme get this straight, you talked to her, or you didn't?
Caitlin: I... tried. Look, Nash, I admit it she's not the best housekeeper in the world. (Nash laughs) Okay! Maybe she's the worst housekeeper in the entire world. What is it that you want me to do?
Nash: Let her go.
Caitlin: I can't, I can't. Wh-What would I say?
Nash: How about... you're fired?
Caitlin: No, no, no, no. She's been with me for four years, Nash, four--
Nash: You want me to tell her?
Caitlin: No. No!
Nash: Well, somebody's gotta tell her.
Caitlin: Fine, if my discussion with her doesn't lead to major changes, I promise I will do it. I've just... gotta find the right time.
Nash: Like maybe... before the end of the century.
Inger: Joe, please come with us.
Joe: Honey, I have a job. I can't. There has to be some other solution.
Inger: Maybe my mother can come and live with us here.
Joe: There has to be some other solution.
Inger (about going back to Sweden): Joe... I have to go back.
Joe: What? I thought your mother was getting better. I was gonna buy her a hockey stick as a get-well present.
Evan: Cassidy, she won't even talk to me.
Harvey: Yeah? Ah...
Evan: Yeah, and I'm thinkin' that if I could just-- If I could just talk to her...
Evan: I could fix it.
Harvey: Brother, I hate to say it, but I think the only thing that can fix this is time. You know, real time. You've been back what two weeks? She needs time to heal, man. So do you.
Evan: Yeah, what I'm sayin' Harv is that-- I don't know I can't heal without her.
Harvey: I hear 'ya.
Nash: So, uh, who do you know in Ireland?
Caitlin: Me? No one. I don't know anybody.
Nash: And oddly enough there are three calls to Dublin on our new phone bill.
Caitlin: Ah... Brigid.
Nash (laughs): No rust on you, sister.
Caitlin: Alright, alright, Nash, I'll talk to her.
Nash: Good, when you do ask here about my reading glasses, where are they?
Cailtin: Oh, well, that I know. They're uh, in you're sock drawer.
Nash: Right, right. Reading glasses. Sock drawer. Makes perfect sense. I don't know why I didn't think to look there.
Caitlin: You know, I really think that you should cut her some slack, she has a lot of personal problems, her mother is ill in Ireland and she's trying to save enough money to fly her here-- Plus, she has chronic back pain, it's really amazing that she's working at all.
Nash (laughs): Call it what you will. Well, I hope that all of those international calls that we're paying for will help her feel better.
(The kidnappers are calling)
Nash: Answer it.
Edward Jenson: What do I say?
Nash: Well, start with hello and we'll go from there.
(After Brigid's vaccuuming woke him up. She's sitting on the couch drinking the last cup of coffee, leaving him none)
Brigid: You're up bright and early.
Nash: Uh, there's a reason for that. I couldn't sleep.
Nash: For some damn reason. (holds up the empty pot) How's the coffee?
Brigid: Oh, it's a tad over-roasted.
Nash (dryly): Ooh, I'm sorry to hear that.
Nick (to Nash): I just made a fresh pot this morning.
Brigid: Five years in the states and I still can't get adjusted to American coffee. I don't think I ever will.
Nick (to Nash): She hates it so much, she's had three cups.
Nash: Mmm. (goes to make more coffee)
Brigid: I think there's some more coffee in the cupboard, Mr. Bridges.
Nash (dryly): Oh, uh, listen, don't get up. I'll get it.
Caitlin: Hey, you're up.
Nash: Not because I wanna be. (looks over at Brigid) What is she doing?
Caitlin: Oh, she likes to finish early so she starts early.
Nash: Well, what time is it that you have to get up in the morning to be at someone else's house at 7:25am to start vaccuuming?!
Caitlin: Okay, grouchy, do you want me to ask her to stop?
Nash: That's the conversation that you should've had with her yesterday.
Caitlin: A-ha. But if I would've had that conversation yesterday, she wouldn't be here vaccuming, and we wouldn't be having this converation, and I wouldn't be sweating the fact that my housekeeper is keeping you up.
Nash: I know that's gonna make more sense to me after I have coffee.
Nude Lady: Does this mean I'm going to miss my Shiatsu?
Harvey: I'm afraid you're Shiatsu outta luck, dear.