Nash Bridges

Season 2 Episode 22

Wild Card

Aired Friday 10:00 PM Apr 25, 1997 on CBS



  • Trivia

    • Tommy Chong's character mentions he is half Chinese, which Tommy Chong is.
      Also, Cheech Marin's character mentions he doesn't smoke weed any more. Cheech Marin left the comic duo Cheech & Chong because he was tired of portraying a stoner. Chong, at the contrary, kept playing (and was typecast as) stoners almost in every movie or TV show he was in.

  • Quotes

    • Joe: Yeah, the only thing is, you're still on the hook with Conti for killing his son so you might want to think about going away for a while. We might be able to put you in a witness relocation program if you're interested.
      Barry: Oh, yeah, right. Where, Iowa? I'm not into potatoes, man.
      Joe: That's Idaho.
      Barry: What'd I say?

    • Nash: Wait for back up.
      Harvey: Ah, hell I'm waiting for the Marines.

    • Cedric: Are we gonna go in there?
      Nash: Not unless you have a death wish.

    • Joe: I stopped smoking pot a long time ago.
      Barry: Oh, yeah? What's your drug of choice now, man?
      Joe: Uh, Rogaine.
      Barry: Rogaine? What do you, snort it?

    • Nash: Who shot Lucky?
      Barry: Hey, man, Chinese don't talk.
      Joe: It's been nice, Barry. (turns to leave with Nash)
      Barry: But I'm only half Chinese.

    • (On the phone)
      Nash: Hi, Koji? This is Nash Bridges. My father is the owner of Mr. Woody. Well, yeah it's about this morning. Well, I don't know, Koji. I mean, look, the guys blame the girls, the girls blame the guys I-I don't know. Look, I think the best thing to keep in mind here is that at the end of any relationship it's best not to assign blame. It's better to just move on.
      Harvey: Oh, I get it. He doesn't understand English. (Nash glares at him)

    • Nash: Bubba, you look tired.
      Joe: Ah, man, you'd be tired too if you spent half the night watching Black Beauty, National Velvet and two parts of Lonesome Dove.
      Nash (laughs): Well, what do you think? You think it worked?
      Joe: Well, if oat consumption is any indication we might have luck with a mare.
      Nash: Well, I got some good news for 'ya.
      Joe: Oh, yeah. What's that?
      Nash: The Japanese have agreed to try Mr. Woody with another mare.
      Joe: How'd that happen?
      Nash: I called them. A sudden impulse swept over me. I-I don't know what happened. It's like buying a candy bar when you're standing in the check-out line.
      Joe: You did that? And they went for it? (laughs) I love you. You know that, don't 'ya? I love you.
      Nash (laughs): Well, sometimes I just need to hear you say it.

    • Harvey: Oh, yeah, I heard about what happened today to Mr. Woody. You know, on the performance level. Well, I hope you don't feel too sad about it. It happens a lot, most horses don't wanna talk about it.
      Nash: Uh, did I miss something or was this Mr. Woody story part of the afternoon lunch briefing?
      Harvey: It was, yes.

    • Nash: Joe, how'd it go with Mr. Woody?
      Joe: You don't wanna know.
      Nash: Yes, I do. This is the new and improved, optimistic Nash Bridges.
      Joe: Okay. Nothing happened. He didn't do it. Mr. Woody wouldn't work. Try saying that fast ten times.
      Nash: Wh-- What-- He didn't do it?
      Joe: Nope.
      Nash: What exactly happened?
      Joe: Well, don't make me say the word impenitent, okay?
      Nash: Mr. Woody is impenitent?!
      Joe: Why don't you say it a little louder so everybody can hear, Nash.
      Nash: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was just thinkin' maybe you oughta get that dog hypnotist back. (laughs)
      Joe: Hey, this is not funny. Your father and I owe the Japanese a full stud service.
      Nash: Ooh, I am not going anywhere near that one. No where near that.
      Joe: Well, apparently it's nothing physical we just have to get him over this emotional hurdle.
      Nash: Oh, no, no, no, no. You said 'we' there. That was a 'we' word. Uh-uh. This is a you thing, you take care of the horse.

    • Joe: Uh, Nashman, these signal lights, there is a difference between the red ones and the green ones.
      Nash: Bubba, when lucky calls and says it's important, it's important. He never cries wolf and I wanna get there.
      Joe: I just don't wanna die in a car crash when I'm about to become a rich man.
      Nash: Rich?
      Joe: I signed a contract today that's going to make me and a certain relative of yours a whole lot of money.
      Nash: What contract? What relative?
      Joe: No, no, no. That's all I'm gonna say. You know, you don't like for me to fill you in on the various details of what I'm workin' on so I'm just not gonna say anything, okay?
      Nash: Scams.
      Joe: See? There you go. I'm shuttin' up.
      Nash: Alright, alright. Maybe I've been a little negative.
      Joe: Maybe you have.
      Nash: Alright, alright. I'm sorry. From now on, I'm going to be supportive and positive.
      Joe: Well, that would just be delightful.
      Nash: Alright, well, fill me in.
      Joe: Alright, your father and I have signed a contract with a Japanese consortium.
      Nash: For what?
      Joe: The stud rights to Mr. Woody.
      Nash: The stud rights? (laughing) What stud rights? Hell, he's only raced once. No, no, not even raced once. 7/8ths of a race. What the hell are you-- (sees Joe glaring at him) Alright, sorry. That's wonderful. That's absolutely great.
      Joe: As of today, Mr. Woody is officially in retirement. He's a breeding horse.
      Nash: Great.
      Joe: We just signed the deal, we're gonna breed him in the morning. I mean, this doesn't even qualify as a scam, what could go wrong?
      Nash: What can?

    • Joe: SFPD. Keep your hands where I can see them, and step away from the bong.

  • Notes

    • Jaimé P. Gomez (Evan), Mary Mara (Bryn), Jodi Lyn O'Keefe (Cassidy), and Annette O'Toole (Lisa), do not appear in this episode.

    • This episode reunited Cheech Marin with his former comedy partner Tommy Chong. It also reunited Don Johnson with his former Miami Vice partner Philip Michael Thomas.

    • Philip Michael Thomas is credited as a Special Guest Star.

  • Allusions

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