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... Instead of making us play Guess When?, ABC has announced finale dates for its current schedule. There are a lot of them, so I'm going to try to make this as painless as possible and run through them pretty quickly. Ready? Okay, here we go:

Friday, April 11

The Neighbors

Thursday, April 17


Friday, April 25

Last Man Standing

Sunday, May 4


Sunday, May 11

Once Upon a TimeRevenge

Monday, May 12


Tuesday, May 13

Marvel’s Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D., The Goldbergs, Trophy Wife

Wednesday, May 14

Suburgatory, Nashville

Thursday, May 15

Grey’s Anatomy

Friday, May 16

Shark Tank

Sunday, May 18

America’s Funniest Home Videos

Tuesday, May 20

Dancing With the Stars

Wednesday, May 21

The MiddleModern Family, Mixology

[ABC via press release]


... In How The F*ck Has This Not Happened Before Now News, hilarious person and everyone's BFF Anna Kenrick will host Saturday Night Live on April 5 with Pharrell's hat (okay, and Pharrell too) as her musical guest. And then on April 12, Seth Rogen will return as host for a third time, accompanied by the musical stylings of someone named Ed Sheeran. [NBC via press release]

... Netflix's next original series is Grace and Frankie, a comedy starring Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin as long-time rivals who suddenly find that an unusual change in their individual marital circumstances brings them together. What is that change, you ask? Nothing big, just that their husbands decide to run off together. Netflix has ordered 13 episodes of the series, which will premiere in 2015. [Netflix via press release]

... TV Land has handed out a pilot order to Alison Brie's web series Teachers, which follows six elementary school teachers who aren't quite the adults they should be given that they're shaping the lives and minds of children. Brie will executive-produce the single-camera comedy, which stars the Katydids: Caitlin Barlow, Katy Colloton, Cate Freedman, Kate Lambert, Katie O'Brien, and Katie Thomas. I have to say that I am a LITTLE pissed off I wasn't asked to be a part of this group, but also that I feel like I could probably infiltrate them and no one would notice. [THR]


... Nikita might be over, but Maggie Q will soon be back kicking ass and taking names in Kevin Williamson's still untitled cop-themed psychological thriller. Appearing opposite Dylan McDermott, she'll play Detective Beth Davis, the division captain of the Threat Assessment Unit of the LAPD. Sorry, guys, but I'm pretty sure skimpy red swimsuits are not part of the uniform. [TV Line]

... Desmond Harrington has joined the cast of ABC's straight-to-series Astronaut Wives Club. This should go without saying, but I'm going to say it anyway: He plays one of the astronauts, not one of the wives. [Variety]

... SpyDaddy Victor Garber looooooves 50 Cent. I know this because he has signed on to star in Power, 50 Cent's new Starz drama about a club owner (Omari Hardwick) who'd like to go legit instead of being a drug kingpin. Garber will play Simon Stern, a fan of alliteration and a renowned and very legitimate club owner who's rolling in the dough. Also joining the cast is Lost's Sonya Walger, who will play Simon's wife Madeline. Madeline also enjoys cash money. [Starz via press release]

... Now that Raising Hope is dunzo, Garret Dillahunt has joined Amazon's Hand of God, which stars Ron Perlman as a "hard-living, law-bending married man" with some questionable morals. He eventually experiences a religious awakening and believes God is talking to him through his son. Dillahunt will play KD, a sociopath with rage issues who went looking for God to help ail him. [Deadline]

... You'll never guess who's been hiding in Under the Dome's Chester's Mill all this time: country music star Dwight Yoakam! He'll play barbershop owner Lyle Chumley, who unsurprisingly has a big beef with Big Jim. He also seems to have a connection to the Dome (not that kind of connection, I hope) and he might even know its origins. [THR]

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