NCIS: Los Angeles

Hetty: Few men know how to deal with a smart, strong independent woman. They say they want a soul mate to share their dreams and their hopes with; but all they really want is a substitute mommy. Nate: Okay, as a professional psychologist, I have to completely… Hetty: (interrupting) Nate, sit down! Nate: Cool, I'm going to sit.

Hetty: George Hamilton once told me that what men really love is a woman that plays hard to get… or was it Frank Sinatra? (Eric whistles) Nate: Saved by the whistle.

(Hetty handing out papers) Callen: Mission briefing? Hetty: Sexual harassment guidelines, there's a seminar next week, it is mandatory even for you, Mr. Callen.

(Footage of the UAV attack) Sam: How fast can we get that footage off the web? Eric: With or without the cooperation of Sphereguy.com's legal department? (Sam looks at him) Okay, cutting through the legal tape…. I just crashed their entire server. Hetty: (yelling from her office) Idiot hackers!!! Eric: Uh-oh Callen: Sam, I think we are due in the boathouse. (Callen and Sam walk away, passing Hetty walking in) Sam: Hi, Hetty Callen: Eric did it. Hetty: I was just watching that viral video with the cats and the trampoline and the site just froze up and crashed on me. Did you have anything to do with that?

Sam: So, what are we this time, a couple of salesmen who got lost, maybe some guys looking for an old college buddy? Callen: How about we're two armed federal agents trying to apprehend a terrorist? Sam: Oh, yeah.

(Hetty walks up with a shirt) Hetty: Is that blood, Mr. Hanna? Sam: Mostly. Hetty: Yours? Sam: Other guy's. Hetty: Can we bill him? Sam: Not anymore?

Jenson: I don't get close to people on the job. Trust me, you open that door up and you're asking for a needy, whiny slacker of a colleague. Callen: I know exactly what you mean. (After Jenson leaves) Sam: I don't whine, I'm not needy and I don't slack. Callen: Two out of three ain't bad.

Callen: Bad news is our only lead in this case is dead. Good news is you're off the hook for date number two. Kensi: Sure hop on the Kensi abuse train while there's still room.

Callen: (to Sam) You know your ears wiggle when you're trying to avoid a conversation? Its kinda of adorable.

Kensi:(as Razor Mantis) I will consider answering your question once the guy to your left stops IM-ing you about my bra size.

Hetty:(referring to the hackers) These guys have spent more time with their World of Warcraft avatars than real women who aren't called "Mom".