NCIS Season 1 Episode 22

Gibbs: What happened on the cliff?
P.O. Vengal: I told you what happened.
Gibbs: Your track record for the truth is unimpressive.

Tony: Aww, you don't know much about dating, do ya?
Kate: Huh, why don't you enlighten me?
Tony: Well, there's always one phony break-up, that proceeds the real break-up. Everyone knows that. (He tweaks Kate's nose.)

(Kate prepares to rappel, makes nervous noises)
Tony: You used to protect the President?
Gibbs: We've got to check your harness. There, how does that feel?
Kate: Like I'm about to throw up.

Gibbs: Let's pretend we don't know anything.
Tony: Not much of a stretch.

Gibbs: Duck, what are you doing here? It's the middle of the night.
Ducky: How could I be at home in my warm and comfortable bed knowing my brethren were here, toiling away in the name of national security?
Gibbs: Couldn't sleep, huh?
Ducky: Not a wink.
Gibbs: Neighbors again?
Ducky: Or, as I like to refer to them, "the Devil's spawn".

Kate: Get a search warrant for the servers.
Gibbs: We don't have time for a warrant. What's a quicker way?
Kate: Hack into the servers.
(Gibbs grins)
Kate: I can't believe I just said that. I would have never suggested that before I started working here.
Gibbs: You're welcome! Get McGee over here. Have him work with Abby. ...
Kate: Are you sure we need to do that?
Gibbs: You have a problem with McGee?
Kate: Not me.

Tony: How was your weekend?
Kate: Oh, let's see, I paid bills, did laundry, went shopping, vacuumed. I bet you don't even own a vacuum.
Tony: I lease.

Priest: You should come by church sometime. I get a cash bonus for every person past a certain number.
Kate: (surprised) You do?
Priest: Wow.
Kate: I'm sorry. I'm not used to a priest with a sense of humor.

Gibbs: Let me rephrase that DiNozzo. You're NOT gonna give me the vitals on that car.

Abby: Can't you type any faster?
McGee: Not unless I grow another hand.
(Abby leans down and puts her arms around him)
Abby: Here, let me.

Tony: Don't worry Kate. I've got your back.
Kate: That's what I'm afraid of.

Tony: (to Kate) Interesting, how she pegged you for unmarried.

Ducky: Ice cream's here.
Tony: Thank god! I'm starving!
(Gets a look from Gibbs)
Tony: I can wait.

Tony: They were arguing about something. You know something about that.
(Gibbs gives Tony a look)
Tony: Sorry boss.

Gibbs: Up to, shoot and sketch.
Tony: Gee boss...it's a long way up.
Gibbs: DiNozzo, was there something in my tone of voice that made that sound like a suggestion?!
Tony: On it!

Tony: (to Kate) What kind of sick and twisted logic makes you think the boyfriend is always to blame?!

(Kate is with Gibbs on the crane)
Kate: This is going to help us solve the case again because....
Tony: It's fun?!.....

Kate: I wish I had a better understanding of this rappelling stuff.
Tony: I have kind of a crazy idea. (smiles at her)
Kate: Those are never comforting words coming from you.

Kate: Todd on rappel.
Tony: DiNozzo on belay!