NCIS Season 2 Episode 7

(To McGee, on battle reconstruction)
Gibbs: I want it so real, I can smell the sulphur!
McGee: Yeah!

Henry: Gibbs.
Gibbs: Hey, morning Henry.
Henry: That sushi place you sent me to.
Gibbs: What? You didn't like it?
Henry: Liked it fine. Only you didn't tell me I had to speak Japanese to order.
Gibbs: You don't order. You eat what you're served with a smile. Just like being married.

Ernie: I don't think he believes me kid.
Tony: Me either.
Ernie: What do you know? You weren't even a gleam in your old man's eye.

Tony: So what's it feel like.
Ernie: Smooth.
Tony: No I mean being a hero.
Ernie: I'm no hero.
Tony: The medal says you are.
Ernie: The real heroes didn't come back. They deserve that (looks at medal). Not me. Not me. I was scared to death. I don't even remember doing what they said I did.

Yost: You, uh, got any use for a Metro ticket? Got ten rides left. Don't want to waste 'em.
Tony: Ah... no, thanks.
Yost: Come on, too much waste in this world. Everything's disposable now. Disposable cameras, disposable razors.

Abby: What do we have here, Gibbs?
Gibbs: Murder weapon.
Abby: Cold case?
Gibbs: Icicles.

Coleman: Oh, yes, you will. You see this seal, Special Agent Gibbs? You recognize the signature?
Gibbs: Yeah.
Coleman: Your eyesight isn't as bad as they say.

Yost: It's not a water cooler, it's called a scuttlebutt. How long you been in the Corps, kid?
Tony: Since I met Gibbs.

Kate: Since when are you interested in the ballet?
Tony: Since about an hour ago.
Kate: Let me guess the cashier at the bakery was wearing leg warmers.
Tony: How do you know that?
Kate: Must be the profiler in me.

Tony: Oh, boss, I got tickets to the National Ballet tonight.
Gibbs: The National Ballet?
Tony: Yeah. An-And the tickets are really hard to get. Tell him, McGee.
McGee: Um... well...
Gibbs: What nation?
Tony: It starts with an "S."

Kate: So how am I supposed to get his SRB without a serial number?
Gibbs: Well, Kate, you could ask him.
Kate: Gibbs, I doubt that he could remember his shoe size.
Gibbs: Corporal Yost.
Yost: Yo.
Gibbs: Serial number.
Yost: 330090, sir.

Kate: Good news... I think.
Gibbs: It's not good if you have to think about it.

Gibbs: You're not in custody, Mr. Yost.
Yost: Now don't say that, Agent Gibbs. I didn't get anything for dinner tonight.
Kate: I'd love to buy you dinner, Mr. Yost.
Yost: You would?
McGee: Me too.
Yost: She asked first.

Kate: Commander Coleman is going to use this to put Yost away for the rest of his life.
Tony: Do we have to tell her?
Gibbs: Well, no, Special Agent DiNozzo, here at NCIS, we just report evidence we like.

Gibbs: Trace its origin.
Abby: Don't I always? Hey, Gibbs, you gonna tell me what this is about?
Gibbs: A marine who doesn't clean his weapon after firing it.
Abby: Wow. Things must be really slow upstairs.

McGee: Oh, hey, there's another ballet in town, DiNozzo. I can get you two front row easy.
Tony: Really? What ballet?
McGee: The National.
Tony: The National Ballet? Bravo, McGee.
McGee: Oh. Only...
Tony: Only what?
McGee: The nation...
Kate: Is not ours.
McGee: Surinam.
Tony: Surinam? The National Ballet of Surinam. How good can that be?
Kate: Depends on how much you like her buns, Tony.

Gibbs: I found him downstairs. He claims to have murdered a marine with this .45.
Kate: You believe him?
Gibbs: He's a little foggy on the where and when, but pretty adamant he did it.
Kate: Gibbs, we're not going to investigate this?
Gibbs: No...
Kate: Good.
Gibbs: We're just going to humor him. McGee. Says he's been reporting this too, can't get anybody to believe him.
McGee: Gee, what a surprise.

Gibbs: Ducky, what do you think he smelled in there?
Ducky: I hesitate to ask.

McGee: The Washington Ballet is totally sold out.
Tony: You're kidding.
McGee: People were backed up trying to hack into the box office.

Gibbs: Come on Corporal. Let a Gunny buy you dinner.
Yost: You -- you were never an officer?
Gibbs: Oh HELL no!
Yost: I knew there was something I liked about you.

Gibbs: DiNozzo. Make Mr. Yost here comfortable.
Yost: You want me to be comfortable, slap a pair of handcuffs on me.
Tony: How about something else?
Yost: Any good at foot massages?

Yost: Oh. They took my license away.
Tony: How come?
Yost: Got old. It's a fatal mistake. But I can fly anywhere. For free. But I, uh... I don't have anybody to visit anymore.