NCIS Season 2 Episode 9

Abby: I have to talk to Gibbs.
McGee: You're gonna have to wait 'cause the last time I disturbed him in interrogation was the last time.

Abby: Hey McGee. Ready to plunge into the seedy side of the Internet with me?
McGee: Well, I thought we agreed never to discuss that at work.
Abby: McGee, I'm talking about the case.

Kate: He does have experience with cybersex.
Gibbs: Yeah? That true DiNozzo?
Tony: I think what Kate meant to say was that I met a very nice girl online once.
Gibbs: Yeah. What was her name?
Tony: Names aren't that important... 'Hotjugs24'. But I think she meant it as a metaphor.

Kate: Now why would somebody hide a camcorder in a vent?
Tony: You're kidding, right? Oh, ya know, when this is over we really need to talk, Kate. You're scaring me.

Abby: Care to guess which fetish they have in common Kate?
Kate: No, no, I'm going to hell just listening to all this.

Kate: This house is sorta how I always pictured Tony's place.
Gibbs: Yeah except DiNozzo has better furniture.

Kate: I hate hospitals.
Tony: Maybe we'll get lucky, and he's dead.

Laura: (about McGee) Is he old enough to be an NCIS agent?
Gibbs: I ask myself that every day.

Kate: We think Laura Rowans is having an online affair with Jeremy Davidson.
Abby: Really, I could have told her....internet romances never work out.
Tony: They all end in attempted murder.
Abby: Only the really hot ones Tony.

Kate: (after Tony tricks McGee into drinking Gibbs' coffee) Maybe next time you should remember rule 23.
Tony: Is that the one about not marrying a woman who eats more than you?
MP: Never mess with a Marine's coffee if you want to live.

Mrs. Rowans: It was just a game.
Gibbs: Does this feel like a game, Mrs. Rowans?

Kate: I had to wear a skirt today.
Tony: D'you say something?
Kate: Y'know, you realize what would happen if I dropped this knife, Tony?
Tony: Yup. I'm still deciding whether it's worth it or not.

Abby: We're talking cleaner than clean, whiter than white! You put him in a lineup with snow, Snow is going to Jail!
Gibbs: Or it just means he was never caught.
Abby: Or it just means he was never caught.

Michelle Davison: (after being challenged by Gibbs/Kate saying NCIS) NCI What?

Tony: I gotta get one of these.
Kate: DiNozzo!
Tony: I'm talking plasma screen Kate.

Kate: 12 years of catholic school says that ain't gonna happen.
Tony: You still have the pleated skirt?

Tony: What was that tip I picked up in Baltimore? (he slaps his forehead while saying this) Right on the tip (touches his tongue). Oh yeah. Rapists are liars, Kate.

Tony: It's in our blood, we're passionate.
Kate: The only thing running through your blood Tony is cholesterol....and possibly chlamydia.
Tony: It's curable.

Kate: (seeing a sexy picture of Mrs. Rowens on Davison's computer) She had to have sent him that.
Gibbs: Yeah, how do you figure that?
Kate: Well let's say theoretically I had a picture like this. I wouldn't be handing them out on a street corner.

Tony: I dated a woman who used to wear my police uniform and make me call her Detective Sipowitz.
Kate: What the hell is wrong with you?
Tony: It wasn't my idea... well the uniform was.

Abby: You think he did it?
Gibbs: Kind of depends on your definition of it.
Abby: Spoken like a true politician Gibbs!

Kate: Ewwww!
Tony: Oh....ewww!

Kate: Got big plans today, Tony?
Tony: Well, it is Saturday, Kate, what do you think?
Kate: Oh, you have a date with a girl who can't spell her last name?
Tony: Ha Ha.
Kate: First name?

Tony: Wow, Laura Rowan wrote these.
Kate: Allegedly.
Tony: Ok, Abby, I'll of course need copies of all of them.
Gibbs: (after he hands Tony his coffee) You drink that DiNozzo, and you're dead.

Kate: Whoa!
Gibbs: Whoa what?
Kate: Whoa...it's..it's uh.. pretty specific...Gibbs.
Gibbs: Yea?
Kate: By specific I mean explicit. In a truest most pornographic sense of the word.
Gibbs: Yeah, I'd say thats specific Kate, bag it.

Gibbs: Hey Kate, your brothers really like that?
Kate: Sadly, yes.
Gibbs: Huh, explains a lot.

Tony: So, you wanna drag her in here and accuse her of attempted murder McGee.
McGee: No, I didn't say that.
Tony: No let's do it, it's not like she hasn't been through enough crap already.
McGee: Well, you would know, you're the master at giving it.
Tony: Watch your lip, Probie.
Kate: Hey!
Tony: ....Your quivering lip.
Kate: Hey! My God, I swear the two of you are worse than my brothers, and they're practically psychotic. We have to ID this guy, if we find a connection between the two of them we bring Laura Rowans in for questioning. Agreed?

Tony: We'll come back. Agent Todd, make sure the MP guarding him doesn't screw up the DD932A6 form like he did last time. If he does it's your ass. Clear?
Kate: Crystal.
Tony: Crystal what?
Kate: Sir.
Tony: Better, now get moving, I don't have all day.

Abby: Did you know?
McGee: No.
Abby: If I find out that you knew, I'll kill you.