NCIS Season 1 Episode 2

Kate: How'd you get into this?
Abby: Filled out an application.

Tony: What's your chute number?
Marine: Four.
Tony: Four's unlucky in China.
Gibbs: We're not in China.

Marine: Why you jumping with us, Sir?
Tony: Always wanted to jump. Agent Gibbs came along to laugh.

Gibbs: So you gonna pay $180 to defy gravity?
Tony: (grinning) Yeah, I think I am.

Gibbs: We're going with you boys. NCIS training mission.
Capt. Faul: Now why don't I believe that? Hell, why not! Hate to pass up an opportunity to toss a couple of NCIS agents out of a plane.

(Tony stands on a practice platform.)
Marine: Keep your feet together to cushion the impact.
Tony: That's it?
Marine: You signed the release form to notify next of kin, right?
Tony: Just don't say, "Break a leg."
(Tony jumps off as Kate and Gibbs walk up)
Tony: How was that?
Kate: Very lady-like.
Gibbs: DiNozzo, what are you doing?
Tony: Just doing a little research for Abby.
Gibbs: For Abby?
Tony: Well maybe I'm serving two masters.
Gibbs: Well you're serving one now.

Tony: Scuttlebutt is...
Kate: Scuttlebutt?
Gibbs: That's Marine for water cooler gossip.

Abby: Kate and I have a theory.
Tony: Why didn't you take to me this fast?
Abby: You're like a piercing, Tony. Takes awhile for the throbbing to stop and the skin to grow back.
Tony: That's more than I wanted to know.

Gibbs: You know some of these guys freeze on their first jump. Need a good kick in the ass to get them out.
Tony: Not me.
Gibbs: No you fall into the category I want to kick in the ass on the ground.

Tony: You ever jump?
Gibbs: When I get an electric shock.
Tony: That explains the lack of power tools.

Abby: Sulfuric acid! That would chew the shine off a trailer hitch!

Tony: Ducky, why would Gibbs rip his hard line out and dunk his cell phone in a jar of paint thinner?
Ducky: Oh dear.
Tony: What?
Ducky: I should have realized the time of year. It's his anniversary.
Tony: Which marriage?
Ducky: Well the last one of course. Isn't it always?
Tony: Ducky, I'm not following.
Ducky: Every year ex-wife number three gets drunk on their anniversary and calls him...repeatedly.
Tony: Why doesn't he change his number?
Ducky: No idea. In case you haven't noticed, Gibbs is a man of more questions than answers.

Kate: Could've given Thumper a dirty chute.
Gibbs: What'd you say?
Kate: Ramsey. Could've given Thumper a sabotaged chute.
Gibbs: No, you said dirty.
Kate: What?
Tony: With Gibbs, you never know.

Gibbs: DiNozzo. Where'd you learn how to write, China?
Kate: I'd say Egypt. Looks more like hieroglyphics.
Tony: Hey! You were in a rush to read it.
Gibbs: My mistake.

Abby: When I was a kid, we lived near this lot where they brought all the burned-out hulks from the gnarliest car wrecks. I used to sneak in there at night and take pictures. It wasn't about the gore, it was about...figuring out how things happened. Y'know, like action, reaction, the science of the whole thing. I got hooked.

Gibbs: Go faster if you had an assistant?
Abby: Definitely.
Gibbs: Okay, you got the job.
Kate: I get to do forensics?!?
Gibbs: No, you get to schlep for Abby. She gets to do forensics.

Kate: Why didn't they tell us?
Abby: Semper Fi. You rat, you fry.

Captain Faul: You JAG or NCIS?
Gibbs: Do I look like a lawyer?

Jimmy: We were hanging out, listening to Dashboard Confessional.
Tony: Emo.
Gibbs: Emo?
Tony: Emotional music. Gotta get a radio, Gibbs.

Kate: How did you get into NCIS?
Tony: I smiled.
(Kate looks at Tony)
(Tony smiles)

Tony: Jumpin's gotta be so cool.
Gibbs: Hey, you wanna play paratrooper? Pay a hundred and eighty dollars, take a class like all those other weekend warriors.
Tony: Yeah. I have so many weekends free.

Kate: You knew Lieutenant Roberts wasn't gonna allow us access to the DNA database.
Gibbs: Did I?
Kate: You did. So why go through the exercise?
Gibbs: Kate, I come from a long line of horse traders. First rule: You pick the best horse in the barn, and you work the deal until it bursts.
Tony: That way, when you go for the second best nag you get her for a song.
Kate: The search authorization.
Gibbs: We didn't have probable cause, but the Lieutenant, he's a man who aims to please. You never work the system when you can work the people.
Kate: Any of those horse traders you come from get hung?
Gibbs: Yeah. Few.

Kate: Actually, I wanted to be a lawyer. I did a year in law school, felt like ten years in prison.
Abby: With really boring inmates? Admit it. You just like strappin' on a gun.
Kate: More than one.
Abby: Really? You packin' more heat than meets the eye?
Kate: Those your only tattoos?
Abby: You show me yours and I'll show you mine.

Kate: Then we got our guy.
Gibbs: Nope. All we got is a pile of dead skin. Only thing you can use the DNA registry for is to identify a body.
Kate: Well, there has to be a way around that.
Gibbs: See, now you're thinking like an NCIS agent.

Kate: You think Corporal Dafelmair was lying?
Gibbs: He was if he knew that Thumper was taking painkillers so he could jump.
Kate: That's stupid.
Gibbs: No, that's a Marine.

Gibbs: Was his reserve chute okay?
Abby: Yeah, it was perfect, all he had to do was pop it.
Kate: Well, he might have if his reflexes weren't slowed by opioids.
Tony: Opioids?
Kate: General term for opiates and synthetic analgesics.
Abby: Go, Kate!
Gibbs: You sure you were a Baltimore cop?

Gibbs: ID withheld...
Tony: Probably the reason you married her. I mean, she probably hid her real personality as most women do, and by that time it was too late because you'd already...I'm gonna shut up now.
Gibbs: Now?
Kate: Did you really say as most women do?