NCIS

Gibbs: I know my goldfish didn't eat a T-bone.

Ziva: (going undercover with Damon) What, no comment about me being a woman? Lucas: You kidding me? Like if I had a choice, I'd hang around with more dudes? It'll make patting you down more enjoyable. Damon: (sounding jealous) Try not to enjoy it too much. Ziva: (flirtatiously) Good luck with that.

Ziva: There are a few strings being tugged.
Tony: Pulled; you pull strings.
Werth: Except heart strings.
Ziva: The heart has strings?
Werth: According to the poets.
Tony: Don't confuse the girl. It's taken a lot of marionetteing to get her this far.
Werth: Who's the puppet master?

McGee: Got a new lock on the front door... Gibbs: That's to keep out unwanted guests.

(McGee is tapping his fingers while watching the truck) Tony: Hey, will you stop tapping your fingers? McGee: I'm not just tapping my fingers. I'm watching his taillights; it's Morse code. (shouts quickly) F-U (Tony glares at him) E-L. Fuel. Tony, they're stopping for fuel. Tony: Yeah, you're done with the coffee.

(seeing the car) Tony: Wow, Ferrari. I had a hamster named Ferrari.

Fornell: This really is a big deal for you, isn't it? Letting me drive your car. Gibbs: Yeah, whatever. You already slept with my wife.

(Tony and McGee hear some talking through the static) Tony: What's pretty boy mumbling about now? McGee: Wow, can you hold a grudge. Tony: He broke my nose. McGee: He dislocated my shoulder okay? Tony: Well, you have another shoulder. I only have one nose, and it's on my face. I mean it's on my face McGee! McGee: Look, it was two years ago. Just drop it.

(Gibbs and Fornell walk in) Gibbs: So where's the truck? It rolls in 6 hours. What do you got? Tony: We got nothing. Fornell: I don't like the sound of that. Tony: Oh... (sounds excited) we got nothing!

(Tony and Ziva are watching McGee sleep at his desk when he suddenly jolts awake) McGee: I'm awake. Ziva: We didn't say anything McGee. (McGee looks at Tony) McGee: But you did something didn't you? What did you do? (he looks around his desk) You try and put my hand in this water? Tony: That's a little juvenile. McGee: You drew on my face didn't you? You drew on my face... (he picks up a CD to check) Tony: No. I suggested stripping you naked, putting a tag on your toe, and dragging you down to autopsy so when you woke up you'd think you were dead, but Ziva thought it was in poor taste. McGee: Well, thank you Ziva. Tony: I did not agree. I think there are a lot of people who would like to see you naked.

(Fornell opens the door and has a beard) Gibbs: What happened to your face? Fornell: What happened to your arm? Gibbs: The job. Fornell: Same.