NCIS

Tara: Thank you, Anthony, you're very sweet- my patron saint. Tony: Actually, Saint Nicholas is the patron saint of hook...(stops himself from saying hookers) Saint Anthony is who you turn to when you've lost something. Tara: So, who does Anthony turn to when he's lost something? Tony: How do you know I've lost something? Tara: (laughing) I may not know my saints, but I definitely know my sinners.

Gibbs: Abs, what do you got? Abby: I am not at liberty to discuss the details of Director Vance's case with you. And I would certainly hope that you wouldn't try to bribe me. Gibbs: I wouldn't do that. (he sets a Caf-pow next to her) Abby: Because I can't say a word about the five slugs that Ducky pulled out of Owens' body. Not that there's a word to say, 'cause I don't even know of these .45 cal S&Ws are a match to the weapon that was found in the deceased's pocket. Not that I would tell you if they are. I'm assuming that your curiosity is for educational purposes. After Ducky does the autopsy we should be able to calculate how long the accumulated post mortem gases took to counteract the weight that kept Owens submerged.

Abby: Great, now I have to build a freaking coffin!

Vance: Whaddaya say David? Wanna go a few rounds? Ziva: I think that would violate my primary assignment. Vance: Only if you manage to lay a glove on me.

Tony (standing up on desk, yelling): Excuse me. K listen up everybody, I need your full attention here. Lenny, Squiggy, Q-Tip, Q-Bert, Bungo Straight, Vertical Bill, can you hear me back there? (says to hot girl) Oh hi Natalie, hi. You look very nice today. (resumes yelling) I have lost my wallet. So, if you've seen it, please return it to me. There will be no judgment, maybe even a small reward. (everyone looks annoyed as they turn back to work, Tony sees Gibbs standing next to the desk he is on) Tony: Hi boss, I lost my... (jumps down from desk) You're going to say mind or marbles... Gibbs: Job.

Vance: And the sawdust? Abby: I am taking up woodworking. Palmer: Really? (Abby glares at him) Abby: I'm gonna build a coffin. Palmer: She is. Vance: Did you actually get any real work done, or just woodwork?

Abby: It's a bird feather, there were some stuck in his belt buckle as well. Maybe it got lodged when he was in the water. (shrugs shoulders) Palmer: It's not likely he was shot by a bird. (Abby and Vance just glare at him)