NCIS

Tony: Is there a reason why you pulled all of their heads off, Abs? Abby: It's so we know that we've checked them. Tony: Yeah, but the one with the round and sitting practically on top. You emptied the entire box. Abby: Well... It was kinda fun. Tony: And they're naked. Abby: Shh! I am about to perform my first autopsy. (she cuts the doll head open and extracts the bullet)

Abby: You're a macho, macho man, Tony.

Gibbs: Why are the dolls naked? Tony: I have no idea. It must be a goth thing.

Abby: (holding up the bullet) Gerald, to Abby. Gibbs: Does Ducky know you do that?

Tony: Nice neighborhood. Maybe a couple coats of paint. . . or a bulldozer.

Gibbs: Go get 'em, Tony! Tony: We'll strip search the roaches, boss.

Kate: What's up? Tony: This whole sensitivity to women in the workplace thing? Backfired. Kate: What are you talking about? Tony: I'm talking about the way we divide our tasks. I always get the floor. Up close and personal, floors are scummy. Kate: It's no big deal, Tony, I would've done it. Tony: Haha. But you didn't. Kate: Floors are scummy. Tony: My point exactly. You would never volunteer to take the floor, I would have to suggest it. Then I would be met by lots of comments about my chauvinism and insensitivity. Kate: Ha. I don't need a floor for that. Tony: Cute, but my point is in order for me to be PC, I've got to take the floor. (Kate spots a few cockroaches in the cupboard) Kate: You want me to take the floor? Tony: Ah, you're just saying that to humor me. Kate: No, you have a point. And if it bothers you that much, I'll take the floor. I insist. Tony: Thanks. Kate: No problem. (Tony sees the cockroaches) Tony: Oh! Kate: (smiling) Heh.

Freeman: All right, listen, Gibbs, I don't have time for this bull. Will somebody please get me the damn NCIS director on the phone! Gibbs: Well, that may be a bit of a problem. See, Thursday's his golf day. Freeman: Listen, I'm not fooling around anymore, Gibbs. Gibbs: Oh, I'm not either. Man has a mean handicap. (Gibbs' cellphone rings & he answers it) Yeah, Gibbs. Tony: Hehe. Kate's got the bullet, boss. Gibbs: Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Won't happen again, sir. (to Freeman) Looks like you win this one. Don't get used to it.

Kate: Did you have fun last night? Tony: Oh, yeah. Got in around 4am and ah, filed evidence for another hour. Kate: Really. Was Gibbs with you? Tony: Oh, God, thanks for reminding me. I'd better call him, make sure he's up. Gibbs: Hey. You're late. Tony: And a good morning to you, sir.

Gibbs: DiNozzo, where's my bullet? Tony: Hopefully in this box or the wall behind it. Got your knife on you, boss? Gibbs: Rule number nine. Gibbs & Kate: Never go anywhere without a knife. Tony: You sure about that? I thought nine was never ask a girl her weight on the first date. Kate: Well, that depends entirely on whether you want a second one or not, Tony.

Tony: So what was it like? ... Being his superior officer. Kate: You mean, did I get to boss him around? Make him salute me? Call me ma'am? Tony: Basically. Kate: It was great. Tony: Nah, you're lying. Kate: Am I? You know, Abby said you looked really good in your uniform too. Tony: Did she. Kate: Yeah. She said you'd fit right in with the biker boy, and the Indian chief, and the cowboy and all the other macho, macho men. (Walks away laughing)

Tony: Gibbs gets Dress Blue Charlies, I look like one of the Village People. Abby: Haha. Maybe you could find a local cop and get a dance routine going.

Gibbs: Hey, DiNozzo, kinda reminds me of your apartment - except for that minty fresh urine smell. Tony: For your information, I have a maid now. Gibbs: You can afford a maid? Tony: It's amazing what you can do when you don't have to pay three alimonies.

Kate: Next time drive a little faster, Tony; I think my glands still have an ounce of adrenaline left. Tony: Responsible crime scene investigation demands a timely arrival, Kate. Kate: Yeah, well, it would help if the investigators didn't puke all over it. Gibbs: Ah...brings back memories... Kate: Memories of what? Gibbs: Marriage.

Tony: (to Kate in her uniform) Don't take this wrong...but you actually make that look good.

Tony: Kate, I need you over here on your knees. It's time to get dirty. Kate: WHAT?! Tony: We need to sweep the floor for marks. Kate: I knew that. (Kate gets down on the floor) Carl: That's not how they do it on CSI. Kate: You really have to get off that couch more, Carl.

Tony: You know if this works Abbs. You're a genius. Abby: Oh Tony. Tell me something I don't know. Tony: I once dated my high school music teacher. Abby: Really. What was his name? Tony: Cute.

Kate: Are you sure you know where you're going? Gibbs: I used to do this for a living. Tony: They had maps back then?

Tony: Did you have any of that shrimp last night? Kate: How could I? You shoved it all in your mouth. Tony: Count yourself lucky.

Kate: Relax your hand or you're never gonna get it in your mouth. Tony: I'm trying but this thing's too damn slippery.

Tony: Did you ever play with one of these when you were a kid? Kate: Do I look like the doll type Tony? Tony: Thought maybe if you smiled more and did something with your hair.