NCIS Season 4 Episode 17

Abby: You know how sometimes a guy can get you all tied up inside?
Ziva: Yes.
Abby: And you can't get the knots out?
Ziva: Yes.
Abby: Well, it just really helped me to talk things out with Gibbs. Because even if you don't let it show, people can still tell. So if you ever want to talk about--
Ziva: I liked him, he died, and um, what else is there to say?

Abby: Look, it's not something you can fix in your classic Gibbs hit and run style okay...
Gibbs: I've got time Abs.
Abby: It's stupid, it's just a guy. (pause) I'm not gonna start spilling my guts just because you keeping standing here. (Gibbs remains standing there) Alright. Apparently I am, "too much" for him. Can you imagine that? Me? And it's not what you think. It's not all (gestures to herself) this. He likes, he likes small women. I got dumped because I'm too, too big. Don't even bother with the 'No, it's him he's too small' or 'He can't accept you for who you are then it's his problem' thing. He just, doesn't think that we could make it work and I've done everything I can to try to convince him that he's wrong. So I guess I'm just going to have to accept it then. And let go. (She smiles and hugs him) Thanks Gibbs. You always know what to say.

Jenny: Drink bourbon?
Colonel Mann: Not during the day.
Jenny: Spend enough time with Gibbs and you'll learn. Believe me, it's an acquired taste.
Colonel Mann: And when did you first acquire it?
Jenny: It's been awhile, but it stays with you.

Jenny: It's not too early for a cocktail is it?
Colonel Mann: Well, the sun must be down somewhere.

Tony: Royalty checks burning a hole in your pocket McGee?

Ziva: Lilies. They're feminine, like the kind you give to a woman.
McGee: Like your mother! (Tony and Ziva turn and look at him) Grady's mother. I-I don't know your, mother.

Tony: Enough gossip, McGee!
McGee: Oh come on, you like to talk about everyone's personal lives.
Tony: At least I don't write entire books about them!

Ziva: You didn't flirt with her.
Tony: That would have been unprofessional.
McGee: I don't know... It would have gotten her to sign the authorization.
Ziva: Then we would not have needed the warrant.
McGee: Then Colonel Mann wouldn't have been here.
Ziva: And we would be inside, doing our jobs like professionals.
McGee: All because, you don't flirt anymore. Why is that?

(talking about Colonel Mann)
Tony: Gibbs did not look happy to see her.
Ziva: Ha! His body language suggested he was not comfortable at all.
McGee: Nothing makes Gibbs uncomfortable.
Tony: Nothing job related.
McGee: Do you think he ended it with her? Assuming that he started something.
Tony: I don't buy it.
McGee: Why not?
Tony: For one, she's not a red head.
Ziva: People change.
McGee: It's true,even you have a girlfriend.
Tony: I haven't changed!

Tony: So, uh, anything to talk about?
Abby: Why would there be?
Tony: Yeah ah, it's just that McGee said that you weren't really acting like yourself so I thought-
Abby: Oh, so you guys have been talking about me?
Tony: Yeah, ah no. We were wondering if there was anything bothering you-
Abby: You wanna know what bothers me? What bothers me, when people gossip about other people behind their backs. Do you really think that that is okay?
Tony: Yeah; because, I mean, it's the only way, to gossip. Because if we talked about you in front of your face then it wouldn't be gossip, it would just be talking about you. (Abby stomps off) You know what; we're just not gonna talk about you anymore.

Abby: There isn't much blood, the bodies were probably drained.
Tony: So, you think we're looking for a vampire?

(talking about Abby)
Tony: I'll talk to her when I can.
McGee: Wait, why you?
Tony: Because dealing with an angry woman requires a great deal of sensitivity, clearly not an area of expertise for you.
McGee: Well, I don't doubt that you have more experience with angry women....

Ducky: Never forget, Mr. Palmer, experience is the ultimate teacher.

Ziva: What is nougat?
Tony: It's whipped dolphin fat!

Abby: (holding out a dollar bill and a candy bar) Give me a dollar.
McGee: Okay... What's wrong with that one?
Abby: The machine wouldn't take it, and I want a candy bar!
McGee: What's wrong with that candy bar?
Abby: It has nougat in it.
McGee: But, you hate nougat.
Abby: I know! It was a mistake, McGee! Do you have a dollar?!

Tony: (to Gibbs) Er, we ran down IDs on the remains. Got a hit on the woman.
Ziva: Hmmm! Classic DiNozzo.

Mann: The last thing I recall you saying as you were slinking out---
Gibbs: I don't slink.

Abby: Sample tissue... you'd rather talk about sample tissue than shoes?
Ziva: Sure.

(Tony discovers a parcel of meat in a suspect's fridge, and Ziva is shocked.)
Ziva: What is it?
McGee: A pork chop.

McGee: She definitely seemed very un-Abby.
Ziva: Who?
Tony: Abby.
Ziva: Abby's un-happy?
Tony: No, Abby's un-Abby.

(Abby is smacking the boot against the counter)
Ziva: Um, breaking in a new pair?

McGee: What did I do?
Tony: Don't sweat it, Probie, I'm sure you'll think of something.

Ducky: Right hand. (They pause, look at each other, then the bodies)
Palmer: Didn't this happen before?
Ducky and Palmer, in unison: Looks like we're going to need another table!