TRIVIA: Gibbs explains why he slaps people on the back of the head. A slap on the face would be humiliating, but "a slap on the back of the head is a wake-up call."
TRIVIA: Gibbs has no brothers or uncles. Gibbs' father is also dead. In the season 6 episode "Heartland", Gibbs goes back to his hometown, and sees his very much alive father. He would have likely said he had no family in order to "keep them safe", or possibly just to keep from having to talk about them.
Kate: So if he was beaten, you know, (turns to Tony) kind of like the way you were yesterday, by Gibbs, it could be the killer's.
Tony: Kate, Kate, Kate, when I let Gibbs win, we all win. And if I beat the crap out of him, who do you think he's gonna take it out on? (Gibbs arrives behind Tony's back) Oh, that's right, all of us!
McGee: So you took a dive for the team?
Tony: Of course McGee.
Kate: It's good to know.
Gibbs: It sure is. Turn around.
Tony: Waiting for you to slap the back of my head, boss.
Gibbs: I'm not gonna slap your head. (Tony turns around smiling)
Tony: You're not?
Gibbs: What, you don't think I have a sense of humor?
Gibbs: Agent Charles, can you get me the Bureau file on Fornell?
Agent Charles: I haven't even seen it. (Gibbs stares at him) If I get caught, I'm finished as a Federal Agent.
Gibbs: Don't get caught.
McGee: Oh my God.
Abby: Gibbs is gonna kill you.
McGee: Kill me? Why?
Abby: I'm not gonna tell him.
Gibbs: McGee, what's the connection between small-time hood and super computer?
McGee: Well, I have no idea, boss.
Gibbs: Wrong answer.
McGee: I'll go look for the right one now.
Gibbs: (when Abby IDs their subject) Mafia?
McGee: With names like Vic Gera and Guido Valentino, what else?
Tony: Probie! In case you forget, my name is Tony DiNozzo- Italiano. Doesn't make me Mafia, now does it?
McGee: No, of course not. I'm sorry.
Tony: Prego. (slaps McGee on the back of the head)
Gunnery Sgt. Deluca: (grabbing a finger bone before it's blown up) Well, at least I get to give Gibbs the finger.
Tony: (to McGee, doubled up after Kate kicks him in the groin) Aw, she had three older brothers growing up. I think there's some unresolved issues there.
McGee: You think?!
Fornell: I realize how sad this than sounds, but you're the closest thing I have to a friend, Gibbs.
Gibbs: You dying or something? Okay, not dying, just some part of a twelve step program?
Fornell: Are you gonna help me or not?
Gibbs: Thinking about it.
Tony: Italian shoes. The pair I got cost 500 bucks. (Gibbs looks at him) Not everyone shops at Walmart. I'm not saying you shop at Walmart, or even that it's a bad thing...
Tony: What about Mr. Potato Head?
Gibbs: No. He stays. With luck he'll spit on my boots.
Kate: Looking for a reason to whack him in the head Gibbs?
Gibbs: No... To shoot him.
(when McGee wouldn't go all out during a sparring match with Kate)
Kate: Tony, do I look like a girl to you?
Tony: All I see is two NCIS Special Agents.
Ricky: Meat inspectors?
Fornell: Anyone ever tell you you're an insufferable bastard?
Tony (to McGee): Do you think anyone's gonna believe that you slept with Kate?
Tony: They teach you to box in the Marines?
Tony: Your loss.
Gibbs: (after flooring Tony) They teach us fighting.
(Tony slaps McGee after Gibbs slapped him)
McGee: What was that for?
Tony: 'Cuz you ate my sandwich!
Tony: (gives his sandwhich to McGee) You want some?
(McGee takes a bite of it; Tony looks a little bit disgusted and throws the sandwich away)
John De Luca: Are you deaf or nuts?
Gibbs: A little of both.
Abby: Hear Kate kicked your butt this morning, McGee.
McGee: Oh. You heard wrong. Wasn't my butt...
Abby: So she kicked you in the...?
McGee: I thought I was joining a Federal Agency, not reliving my junior year in high school.
Abby: Just remember, they torture you because they care.
McGee: So, if I make them dislike me...?
Abby: It'll get worse.
Gibbs: Training's over. We're headed to Quantico. Guy tried to outrun a 500 pound bomb.
Gibbs: He lost.
Gibbs: You lied to me, Jimmy.
Jimmy: Oh... I wasn't expecting it. Now what? I just saved all our lives!
Jimmy: You know, you remind me of somebody Special Agent Gibbs, some ahh... who's that guy that's always talking trash- that fed...
Mafia guy: Fornell!
Tony: Got a warrant for your arrest little Dicky.
Ricky: It's Ricky.
Tony: It's murder! Dicky.
Tony: We make a good couple, Kate.
Kate: Yeah... for The Jerry Springer Show.
Gunnery Sgt. John Deluca: Is there a secret to getting on his [Gibbs's] good side?
Tony: No secret...
Kate: (grins) He doesn't have a good side.
Kate: You writin' my name right?
Tony: What! I just wanna know if it's mine. (to receptionist) She kinda sleeps around a lot if you know what I mean.
Kate If I did, it's cuz he ain't any good in bed.
Tony: Least I didn't sleep with my cousin.
Kate: You slept with my sista!
Tony: I thought it was you!
Kate: She weighs 300 lbs.
Tony: She was wearing your earrings!!
Receptionist: That's enough! If you two can't be civil, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
Kate: Look, is there anywhere I can wait away from him, please, I'm beggin' you.
Receptionist: There's an empty exam room behind you two doors on the right.
Kate: Thank you. (throws gum at Tony as she leaves)
Tony: I'm sorry, she slept with my brother ... and my best friend ... at the same time.
McGee: Wow, she's pretty flexible.
Tony: Just don't let her catch you looking at her, Probie.
McGee: I think she saw me. She gave me that look.
Tony: What look?
McGee: The look she's always giving you.
(Tony looks at Kate, and sees her smiling)
Tony: Yep, she saw you. Hope you wore a cup.
Kate: Wow, I thought you were the only one who could piss him off like that.
Tony: You never met his second wife.
Jimmy Napalitano: I'll kill your brothers, your uncles, your father, and then I'll kill you.
Gibbs: No brothers. No uncles. My father passed away years ago. But I have three ex-wives I would gladly give you their names and addresses.... (Jimmy puts phone down) Huh! He hung up!
Original International Airdates:
Croatia: September 29, 2005 on NOVA TV
Finland: March 10, 2007 on Nelonen
France: September 09, 2005 on M6
Germany: September 29, 2005 on SAT.1
Sweden: May 29, 2005 on TV3
Denmark: November 9, 2004 on TV3
FBI Agent Charles: Jimmy Nap's version of The Ice Man.
This quote is referring to Richard Kuklinski, who was a Mafia contract killer and supposedly killed about 200 people. One of the people he killed was dumped in a well full of ice cold water, which was then filled with a layer of concrete to hide the body. After quite a few years, Kuklinski was aware that his luck was wearing thin and in an attempt to not get caught, he removed the perfectly preserved body and disposed of it another way.