Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide

Nickelodeon (ended 2007)
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Show Summary

  • Ended

Nickelodeon's Ned's Defied School Survival Guide chronicles the wacky adventures of Ned Bigby and his best pals Jennifer "Moze" Mosely and Simon "Cookie" Nelson-Cook at James K. Polk Middle School, as "every-kid" Ned shatters the fourth wall to share tips and tricks on navigating middle school or junior high hurdles.

Ned's not super cool, and he has no superpowers. He is, however, witty, well-groomed, upbeat and self-aware. Moreover, with more than a little help from his two best friends, he's equipped to conquer middle school minefields. From crushing bullies to crushes, from off- the-wall, mean and cool teachers to pop quizzes, elections and detentions, Ned knows that nothing, including the seventh grade, is as bad as it seems, and friendship matters most.

Characters:

Ned Bigby is pretty much your average 13-year-old. He hangs with anyone who he thinks is funny and cool, like his two best buds Moze and Cookie. Ned's not exactly popular, but he does have a couple of things going for him: He's smart and observant. Ned knows what's up. Which is probably why Ned's basically an optimistic guy. He realizes that nothing, including 7th grade, can be as bad as it seems. Of course, a few survival tips definitely come in handy now and then.

Moze is a smart, funny and totally insecure seventh grader. She's never really been "one of the girls," since she spends most of her time with her best friend and next door neighbor, Ned. But these days Moze is actually starting to get into some typically girlie stuff-like fashion and, you know, boys-and she's decided she's in need of some actual female friends. Makes sense, right? Try telling that to Ned...

Cookie is Ned's OTHER best friend-probably because their last names have been alphabetically linked since second grade. Cookie comes from a super-rich family, but doesn't want anyone to know it. He actually has a limo drop him off at Ned's house so he can ride the bus with everyone else. Cookie's a major brain who's, well...kinda weird. He suffers from chronic bed-head, his fashion sense is non-existent and despite his super-smarts, he can be pretty clueless. Oh yeah, and he's wired to the web 24/7, which comes in handy since he seems to wind up in wacky situations 24/7 too. Did we mention he was kinda weird?

Gordy School janitor who doesn't clean, Ned's adviser. Often heard saying "I'll let the night guy do it." He is simple minded, like his Weasel catching attempts, yet very complex, like in his book. A good hearted man, he just wants to help the kids, though it's the kids that usually help him.

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Mr. Chopsaw Wood shop teacher, Moze's adviser. In episodes he's in, he often helps her with problems (i.e. Clothes). Has a prosthetic hand... rumor is he's made of wood. Tough and gritty, then good spirited.

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Mr. Monroe Life Science teacher, full of life! He's another good person. Although a little girly, he wants to help the kids. Ned calls him "a great teacher" probably in part because he doesn't punish Ned like all the others.

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Mr. Wright History teacher. In episodes without Mr. Chopsaw, Moze often goes to him for advice. He's a good teacher, and always knows what to say. Kind of a usual nice TV show teacher, kind yet not always very observant. The good guy.

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Ms. Dirga Stern P.E. teacher. Tough, athletic, yet caring. She wishes to help the kids get through Middle School, but she's still a teacher and is not going to let the road be easy.

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Mr. Sweeney Evil Science teacher. He's very into science, and just wants everyone else to be as well. As we see in "Notebooks" he wants everyone to do well, but when given the chance will be evil. Has a good evil laugh.

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Lisa Zemo Allergy sufferer, adores Cookie.

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Billy "Bully" Loomer Polk school bully, adores Moze.

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Claire Sawyer Future lawyer, helpful in a pinch.
Suzie Crabgrass Moze's rival, object of Ned's desire.

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Coconut Head Bad haircut, good heart.
Seth Powers Hottie basketball player. Moze has, or at least had, a crush on him. He always wears the same green and yellow warm up suit and has a basketball spinning on his finger. Not very interested in school.
Martin Qwerly Talkative smart kid. A friend of the gang's. Not very popular either. A little on the weird side. Has a twin sister seen in "Tutors." Student Council V.P.
Crony Loomer's henchman. Doesn't talk to much, and follows Loomer around. He is very dependent, seen in "New Semester" when Loomer doesn't want him anymore, he runs off to find someone else to copy... twice. He is also the best cross stitcher at Polk
Nurse Hunsucker Polk nurse. Though it may not seem it at the beginning of the show, she is caring and really goes out of her way to make sure the kids are okay. In the episode "Double Dating" she comes to the school at night to help Ned with an upset stomach.
Ms. Enstile Beautiful Spanish teacher, scene in "Teachers." Due to not being able to focus on anything but her, Cookie transfers out of her
The huge crew VERY into make-up, and the girl bullies of the school. They adore Ned beyond belief.

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8.6
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  • August 28, 2007 DVD Releases

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  • An informative and wacky show that ended way too soon....

    9.0
    "Superb"
    It's been almost ten years since I last watched Nickelodeon on a regular basis. I grew up during Nick's "Golden Era" of the 90s, so I had very low expectations for the Nick shows today. However, when I was flipping channels and saw this show for the first time, I was amused and amazed. Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide is one Nickelodeon's best shows of today -- one episode and you'll see why. Not only does it provide smart and useful tips for surviving middle school (or any school, for that matter), but it's witty, silly, and so much fun. If you like Even Stevens, which is just as silly, you'll most likely will enjoy this show. Not to mention you'll learn something along the way...moreless

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    0 0
  • crappy reality tv trash on a cartoon channel

    1.0
    "Abysmal"
    oh how i miss the days when spongebob squarepants wasn't the only cartoon on nick. its sad that nick can't seem to keep a show for too long. everytime it gets a new cartoon at the kids choice awards its cancelled after the next new cartoon comes along with the exception of back in the barnyard which is still hanging on somehow. It was a terrible show with awful dialog and random children prtrayed as idiots. The idea wasn't too terrible if they had thought to have been to be realistic. It'd be nice for kids to have a guide for school situations like a bully or an emergency accident.moreless

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    5 30
  • Good Nick Live-Action show, good comedy and good characters

    9.0
    "Superb"
    One of the only and best live-action shows on Nickelodeon that does not disappoint me or annoy me or make me mad. This is such a hilarious and goofy show that all Nickelodeon lovers shall sit down and watch. Me, my brother and my sister love this show so much, if it's on, we put it on.

    This show is about a teen in middle school named Ned who has a guide with tips on how to survive school. His friends consist of Jennifer or "Moze" and Simon or "Cookie". Moze is a volleyball player while Cookie is a computer nerd who has these really cool glasses with computer technology like in a sci-fi. They are friends with the school janitor whose name I can't remember. He helps them with their problems during episodes. Then you have the bullies and the Vice Principal and the science teacher who are just hilarious.

    The episodes always have a different topic on something to do with school e.g. Lockers, bathrooms, the bus. The episodes are very silly and goofy and cartoony which makes them so hilarious. There are cartoony sound effects added to the episodes which jsut make them even more hilarious. I just laugh out loud at how goofy the episodes come out and what situations the characters end up in.

    The pairing I love the most in this show; Ned and Moze. They make such a cute pairing. All the cartoony gags in the show make the pairing even cuter. This was one of the things that me and my brother enjoyed so much about this show.

    I reccomend this show to any fan of Nickelodeon and/or anyone who enjoys the live-action shows on Nickelodeon, not that I ever enjoyed them so this is one of the only live-action shows I like on Nickelodeon. This show is good for anyone, even for kids 10 and under. This is a must sit down and laugh at show.moreless

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    1 0
  • This is what you call a teen show, no stupid drama, no laugh track, no bad plots, and it is actually informative and funny.

    10
    "Perfect"
    I personally find it criminal to see that the producers at Nickelodeon gave this show the ax so soon. In Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide, it centers around Ned Bigby, a 13 year old teenager who is clever and smart. Ned creates a school survival guide that is ever growing and gives great information to help kids deal with stuff like bullies, tests, and so on. He is joined by Moze, a smart and funny girl who was never really one of the girls and spends most of her time with Ned. Finally Cookie, a smart but clueless person who is actually rich, but doesn't tell anyone. All 3 of them must survive middle school and have wacky adventures throughout. The acting is great in this show. Everyone does a solid job of acting and portraying the characters' personalities so well. The characters also get a great amount of depth and a unique personality. The comedy in this show blew me away. There were so many funny jokes and gags that never seemed to stop and each episode got better with the jokes. The plots are usually about Ned and his friends dealing with stuff that everyone deals with in school, and I love the idea. In what other show do you see informative an entertaining ways to deal with bullies, cafeteria food, teachers, tests and quizzes, gym, extra credit. I haven't even scratched the numerous things this show has. There is also a running gag with a school janitor named Gordy, who is trying to catch a weasel but always fails in comedic fashion. Gordy is actually a brilliant and kind hearted man who always has the right advice for Ned and his friends. I really wished Nickelodeon didn't pull the plug so soon on this show, it deserved to last longer than 3 seasons. Nick, the people have spoken on this website, we want to see this show brought back again. Get rid of iCarly and True Jackson and put this show back on the air. If you are a person who is about to enter or in middle school, I really recommend this show to you, and you can see it on the Teen Nick channel at 4 PM (depending on what region you live in).moreless

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    7 2
  • This show is...FUNNY!

    9.0
    "Superb"
    I love this show. When it first aired and ended I wasn't a real fan of it. Then it was on TeenNick so I watched it and I was surprised. This show extremely funny. The show has gotten better each episode! My favorite episode is probably the episode when Cookie tells everyone that's he's moving but he actually doesn't or..well I don't really know bc every episode is funny! They should make a high school version of this show! It would be great if they'd do it now. This show should have never ended. It is too funny. It's probably my favorite TeenNick show!moreless

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Buddies And Gal Pals, Crazy Teachers, Fresh Faced Teens, Gossiping Teens, Pressures Of High School