Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide

Season 3 Episode 12

Boys / Girls

Aired Saturday 8:00 PM Feb 10, 2007 on Nickelodeon
out of 10
User Rating
50 votes

By Users

Episode Summary


Boys: Ned goes through a phase when Suzie moves away. The guys try and get him back to normal, so he can continue his guide. Meanwhile, Moze starts a class to help girls with understanding guys.

Girls: Ned has a hard time writing more tips when he realizes he has no tips about girls. So he asks Moze to take over for some tips. Cookie dresses up as a girl to find out what Lisa Zemo likes in a guy.


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  • boys and girls

    boys- ned is depressed ever since susie moved away and cookie and friends try to help cheer him up so he will continue his guide. moze teaches girls what she knows about guys.

    girls- moze helps ned understand girls, and cookie disguises himself as a girl so he can understand what lisa wants in a man.

    both great episodes, i probably liked boys a little less, but both were great episodes with a lot of humor and interesting plots, i thought, and because of this, both episodes definitely get A+'s, in my books. Just all around great, fantastic episodes, i thinkmoreless
  • With help, Ned gets over Suzie's departure, but his quest for a new girl leads to a big surprise.


    Martin Qwerly needs writing tips, which is ironic since he is on the fast track to becoming an auctioneer, but ever since Suzie moved away, Ned has been too depressed to write any. Moze tells Ned he has to get over Suzie, and cleaning out his Suzie-photo-filled locker would be a good start. Ned throws out the guide, but Coconut Head gets hit by it, and he, Cookie, and Martin start their plan to get Ned writing tips again.

    The boys start by visiting the gym, but the Garden Club is there building their Arbour Day float. This, like pretty much everything, reminds Ned of Suzie, so the other guys quickly drag him away. It is to be noted that the Garden Club consists of probably the most boy-crazy girls in school.

    Mozes comes across Evelyn, who begs Moze to teach her about boys, specifically how to attract one. Moze refuses at first, but Evelyn gradually wears her down and she agrees.

    The boys are outside, and Ned is encouraged to smash some fruit with a bat to cheer him up. Ned barely taps the fruit at first, but Cookie inspires him to smash harder. However, grapefruit juice stings, and the boys all run inside half-blind except for Cookie, who wears glasses. Cookie tells Ned to write down "Never smash a grapefruit without eye protection" in the guide, but he is already gone. Meanwhile, Moze starts her seminar on boys when the Garden Club stops by. They want to attend too, and Moze reluctantly accepts.

    Ned is back at his locker, only to find that his pictures of Suzie are all gone. Gordy tells Ned that he threw the photos out, Ned has to move on, and Ned's locker was the first thing he actually cleaned all year. He joins the quest to restart the Guide, but asks for a 5-dollar bill.

    Gordy attaches the bill to a fishing line, and attempts to lure Mr. Sweeny to a window, causing him to smash into it. However, the window is open, and Sweeny lands on top of the boys. Sweeny is worried about Ned's condition too and offers to help. Meanwhile, back in the classroom, the girls are growing impatient, and want to skip ahead to kissing boys.

    Ned is in the office when Gordy appears as the Ghost of Tipless Past. He and the boys remind Ned of the importance of the guide, but it is the thought that the other boys would do all this for him that finally gets him to resurrect the Guide. Unfortunately, he can't think of any tips, but Sweeny suggests that maybe a nice drive will clear his mind. The boys and Gordy decide to drive right down the hallway in the Garden Club float.

    The girls demand that Moze take them to see boys, and run into the hallway for a "field trip". Right then, the float comes speeding along and runs into them, which results in them being dragged along for the ride. Cookie is at the controls and slams the brakes just before the float hits the doors, launching Ned outside. Cookie is worried that the accident will stop the writing of the Guide for good, but the opposite happens and Ned immediately comes up with a string of tips. The Guide is saved.



    Ned is writing tips again and is mostly normal, but is freaking out over the fact Suzie hasn't called yet. Moze reminds him Suzie has only gone 3 days and has moved to another state. Ned claims to be over Suzie, but when his mom calls, immediately proves otherwise. Ned swears that he will find a way to get over Suzie. He consults the guide, but soon discovers he has no tips on girls.

    Cookie claims to be The Man, but is soon begging for tips too. Ned intends to ask Gordy for tips, but when they see him electrocuting himself, Ned decides to ask Moze instead. Cookie also wants tips from Moze, so he can get Lisa interested in him. However, Ned claims Moze's tips for himself and tells Cookie to get his own girl for tips.

    Moze advises Ned to join the Choir, where he meets Simone, Cookie's alter ego. Simone is trying to find out what Lisa likes in a guy. She/He almost gets caught and exposed, but Gordy breaks the electrical switchboard just in time and the lights go out.

    Back at Ned's locker, Moze asks Ned if he found a special girl yet, but Ned replies all he found was Cookie. When asked, Ned replies that Suzie is his perfect girl, but when pressed further, replies:


    NED: My perfect girl would have to be funny, smart, athletic, have a great smile, and be a great friend. And I'll know when I see her, because a golden light will hit her just right and the angels will sing!


    As soon as Ned finishes, Moze starts to light up and he hears singing. Ned is stunned, but it turns out that the lights were from Gordy and the singing came from the Choir, who are practicing in the hallway.

    Simone runs into Loomer, who is working on a go-cart. Loomer is impressed with Simone's knowledge of guy stuff and falls for her. However, Simone's thoughts are with Lisa. Simone finds out that Lisa likes chocolate and flowers, then hurries away to change back into Cookie.

    Meanwhile, Moze promises to find Ned a date. She takes Ned to the library for speed dating. However, none of the girls are compatible with Ned, or pretty much any boy. However, Ned does come across Simone, who tells Ned he found out the way to Lisa's heart. Ned urges Cookie to change out of drag.

    Before Simone can change back into Cookie, she/he runs into Loomer again. Loomer wants to go out with Simone, which freaks Cookie out and he runs away. However, in a Cinderella spoof, Simone leaves behind one of her shoes. Back in the library, Ned laments that he'll never find his perfect girl, but Moze assures him that he will. Right then, Moze starts glowing and the music swells, but it turns out to be Gordy and the choir again.

    Cookie finally becomes himself again and is ready to give Lisa some chocolate and flowers, but when he sees Loomer obsessing over the shoe Simone left behind, he gives the gifts to him instead, claiming that they were from Simone. Loomer and the bullies proceed to chop down of the chocolate and even the flowers!

    Cookie asks Ned how speed dating went, and Ned tells him he didn't find his perfect girl like he hoped. Ned claims he isn't looking for much:


    NED: I just want a girl who's funny, athletic, smart, has a great smile, is a good friend, isn't afraid to take charge once in a while, likes sports, and call me demanding, but I like 'em on the tall side.

    COOKIE: (bluntly) You just described Moze.

    NED: What?

    (Moze starts walking towards them)

    NED: Very funny. I've known her forever. We're just friends. And I'll know my perfect girl when I see her.


    At this, Moze starts glowing, and Ned hears singing, like before. He thinks it's just Gordy again, but Gordy tells him the lights are fixed and the choir is back in the Music room, so the music and lights are in Ned's head. This stuns Ned, who awkwardly pretends everything is fine as he starts talking to Suzie on the phone.

    This episode is special because it presents Moze as Ned's perfect girl rather than Suzie. However, it is not until the very last episode that Ned and Moze finally go out. Ned is not too thrilled about the prospects of dating his best friend, and the reasons will become clear later in "When You Like...". It turns out to be one of the most common reasons in the book, but that's for later.moreless
  • One of the best of Ned's Declassified!

    This episode was really great and funny. In Boys, Ned stops writing the guide when Susie moves away. Now Cookie, Gordy, Coconut Head, Martin and a whole bunch of other boys must try everything they can to get Ned to write the guide again. Meanwhile, Moze teaches a class to girls on boys. I liked in that episode when Gordy and Cookie did that "Ghost of Tipless Past" thing. That was funny. And I could use Moze's class on boys any day. In Girls, Ned tries to find a new girl to go out with since Susie's out of the picture. Meanwhile, Cookie tries to find out what Lisa likes in a girl by going undercover as a girl. I liked when Cookie impersonated as 'Simone'. "See ya!" LOL. Gordy trying to fix the light socket while the choir practiced in the halls got kind of annoying but the episode was still good. Both these episodes are series classics.moreless
  • One of my favourite episodes because of how it went through

    Boys: Ned was depressed since suzie moved away so Cookie and "the boys" tried to cheer him up...Meanwhile Evalyine pleaded Moze to teach her about boys And moze finally agreed but then after a while more girls heard about it and Moze ended up teaching a whole class about boys. Afterwards Gordy pretended to be a ghost taking Ned around the school and telling how it would be like if he stoped writing tips (which was HILARIOUS) and ned finally agreed to write tips again but then he had tips writer block...

    Girls: in girls Ned was trying to find the perfect girl but is having trouble so Moze agrees to write tips. Meanwhile Cookie dresses as a girl (which was sooo funny)to see what lisa likes in a guy. I loved the parts when Ned said he will know who is perfect girl is because the golden light will hit her just right and the angels will sing and that kept happening to Moze. And especailly the end When it really was moze. That was a great way to make you wonder what will happen.moreless
  • One of my favorite episodes ever!!

    In "Boys", Ned is still upset about Susie moving away. He even stops writing tips. He spends the day with the guys to get his mind off Susie. It was great that no matter what they did, Ned found a way to connect it to Suzie. Moze teaches a class about boys, it was great that Ned wasn't the only one giving tips. I've grown to like Evelyn more and more.

    In "Girls", Ned just forgets about Suzie and looks for a new girlfriend. I liked how everytime he looked at Moze Gordy was shining the light on her. This episode makes it clearer that Ned and Moze will definitely end up together. Cookie has disguised himself as a girl many times, but this time it was so hilarious. Loomer fell in love with Simone/Cookie. Moze gave tips in this episode too. I liked when Ned got the radio with the "tip music" and made Moze read the tips. I love this episode so much.moreless

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (2)

    • Ned says that he'll know which girl will be perfect for him when the angels sing and a light appears. Those things happen when he sees Moze, suggesting that Ned likes Moze and hasn't realized it yet.

    • Goof: At the end of "Boys", when Ned is reaching for the Guide, it's upside-down and the logo is on the side facing away from the camera. When they switch scenes quickly, you see that the Guide is no longer upside-down and the logo is on the side facing the camera.

  • QUOTES (9)

    • Ned: What are you doing?!
      Cookie: (Dressed as a girl) Going undercover to find out what Lisa really likes in a guy.
      Ned: I don't think it's this!

    • Ned: I'm not asking for much! I just want a girl who's funny, athletic, has a great smile, isn't afraid to take charge once in a while, loves sports, and call me demanding, but I like them on the tall side!
      Cookie: You just described Moze.
      Ned: What? That's ridiculous! I've known her forever! We're just friends, and I'll know the perfect girl when I see her!
      Moze: Hey, what's up, guys? (golden light hits Moze and angels sing)

    • Ned: Well, I'm moving on. I don't need Suzie Crabgrass. This phone rings right now, I might not even answer it.
      (Phone rings)
      (Realizes it's mom on the phone)
      Oh. Oh, hi, Mom.

    • (Gordy has cleaned out Ned's locker)
      Ned: Suzie! She's gone! All the pictures are gone! Just like she is.
      (Ned pulls out a binder covered with photos of Suzie)
      Gordy: Exactly! You need to move on, and say "Thank you Gordy!"
      (Gordy tosses the binder in the trash)
      Gordy: You realize your locker's the first thing I've actually cleaned all year?

    • Cookie: You just described Moze
      (To Ned after he describes his perfect girl)

    • Simone (Cookie): Take the Pistons AND the points. SEE YAHH!!

    • Moze: Why are you looking at me like that?

    • Ned: I'm having tip-writers block!

    • Moze: Boys need boy time. To be with other boys; do dumb boy things. And then they mature later than girls, which is why they seem so stupid.

  • NOTES (5)

    • Tip #312.GIA
      Get involved in activities that girls like.

      Tip #612.NOAAG
      NO FART-anything around girls.

      Tip #612.LMTL
      When around girls: listen more, talk less.

      Tip #612.BYAG
      Be honest and be yourself around girls.

      Tip #306.GWSSN
      Girls: They wear shoes and smell nice.

      Tip #152.NSA
      Never sit around and be bummed. Get out and have fun.

      Tip #023.SPTB
      Stuck on a project? Take a break or take a ride.

    • Ned's 'ideal girl' is just like Moze.

    • In Girls, Moze gives the tips and not Ned.

    • This episode was originally supposed to air in the U.S. on January 27, 2007, but was replaced at the last minute by "Library & Volunteering."

    • This episode appeared on November 17th, 2006 on the Family Channel in Canada.


    • Gordy: And thus, the guide was born! This line is taken from the Powerpuff Girls theme song. The narrator says "And thus, the Powerpuff Girls were born!" right after the chemical X was added.