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New Girl S03E09: "Longest Night Ever"


Yeah, okay, that's not entirely fair, but I'm confused about my New Girl feelings and I don't know what to do about it. Like quite a few of you have already said in the comments, something just feels off about this season and it's not bad, but it's not the shiny gem that I look forward to every week, either. 

I think this might be what mediocrity feels like and I don't like it. Have we fallen so far? Not yet—but in many ways, New Girl is just going through the motions, especially where Cece and Schmidt are concerned. 

As for Winston, however—Winston is glorious, despite the flaws of Season 3 so far. Winston + Hamster Lady = true love 5-ever.


Winston revealed that he and Ferguson (HI, FERGIE!) had taken a shower together and it upset Nick to the point where everyone finally agreed that Winston needs to interact with humans again. Unfortunately, Winston had forgotten how to do that and then Nick lost Ferguson, sending the demented duo into the streets to find our new favorite feline and eventually leading them to the nicely appointed living room of Hamster Lady, who has a name, but shall be known exclusively as Hamster Lady regardless. Plz stay. I predict that she'll stick around at least until Ferguson eats her hamster. NOM NOM.


With Nick on Winston Duty, Jess was stuck with Schmidt, who did the thing that Schmidt's been doing for nearly every episode of the season so far: He pined for Cece. Cece, for some unexplained reason, sucks at getting dates even though she's like a super hot supermodel, and she accepted Coach's invitation to go out because New Girl needed to justify Coach's continued presence. Carrying on the show's fine tradition of blaming douchey behavior on other people/things instead of just owning up to it, Coach admitted to struggling with insecurities and nerves when it comes to women and his self-esteem. Which, to Coach's credit, is at least a real and possible thing that's infinitely less WTF than Schmidt's "I used to be a fatty" excuse. So... I guess he can stay. For now. It's still hard to be terribly invested in him, though, which is kind of indicative of what might be wrong for many of us this season. The joie de vivre seems to be missing. If we're going to make Schmidt go through the same motions every week, they need to at least be, well, not miserable.  It was practically a relief when Jess hit him with the Jess-mobile. 


I just don't know how to fix New Girl, you guys, and it's not like I'm not enjoying the show this season, but I'm not enjoying it as much as I enjoyed last season, even though all the pieces are still here. Is it Nessy? Nessy wasn't even a huge part of this episode—or even a small part of this episode, for that matter. In fact, sometimes Nessy is basically a non-issue. I was never so heavily invested in Cece and Schmidt that their separation is unbearable to watch, but I do think that the way Cece and Schmidt are being written as they cope with their break-up is kind of unbearable. If Cece and Coach can help New Girl get out of this funk, then I'm all for it. If not... well... at least we have Winston and Hamster Lady. 

What do you think? Are we doomed?



NOTES FROM THE DOUCHEBAG JAR

– One-liner of the night: "She's on a flip phone. That means she's either poor or a time traveler." —Schmidt

– "That first-class ass will be sitting in coach tonight." NO. 

– "You ever wonder if someone in here killed someone?" All the time, Winnie. All the time. 

– Schmidt/Sofa. Schmofa?

– "Your cat's a psycho." I'm so happy Hamster Lady confirmed this. I knew that cat wasn't right. 

– Aww for Schmidt saying Jess was just being a friend when she hit him with her car. Aww.

– But OMG Jess, throwing around the M-word. Nick just got comfortable calling you his girlfriend like, ten minutes ago, and you're talking marriage? It's Nick. You're gonna scare him awaaaaaay. 


Previously Aired Episode

AIRED ON 12/9/2014

Season 4 : Episode 11

Next Episode

AIRS ON 1/6/2015

Season 4 : Episode 12

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