Season 2 Episode 12

Bitch Session

Aired Tuesday 8:30 PM Jan 14, 1996 on NBC



  • Trivia

  • Quotes

    • Joe: Remember when I fixed the hard drive on your computer?
      Dave: Yeah.
      Joe: Just these two hands, a soldering iron and some parts from an old clock.
      Dave: Yeah, that was very impressive. Hey, is that why my old clock doesn't work anymore?

    • During the bitch session Lisa said Dave looked like a teenager.
      Lisa: I said you looked cute.
      Dave: I just keep trying to figure it out in my head. I mean does she really love me or is it just the thrill of possibly being picked up on charges of corrupting a minor?

    • Mr. James: There's nothing wrong with two drunk men loving each other.

    • Mr. James: They know you overheard them?
      Dave: No, no you're the first person I've spoken to. Well, except my mom.
      Mr. James: Oh yeah? What did she say?
      Dave: Come home, pumpkin.

    • The station is not reimbursing cab rides home anymore.
      Dave: It's one thing if you're here to midnight working. It's another if you wait until 8:01 so you can get the free cab, pick up six of your friends each from a different borough, and go club hopping all night. Beth?!
      Beth: What are you talking about, Dave?
      Matthew: Actually that was me. A friend of mine had a bachelor party and we didn't know where to go, so I asked the cab driver to drop us off where the action is.
      Joe: Where's you end up big guy?
      Matthew: Airport.

    • Dave: If I move the phone at all or jostle it in anyway the line cuts out so I'm pretty sure the jack is broken.
      Joe: Well if it's broken, I can fix it.
      Dave: Well take my word for it the jack is definitely broken.
      Joe: Then I can fix it.
      Dave: Okay what's wrong with it?
      Joe: It's broken.
      Dave: And can you fix it?
      Joe: Yeah, I've got some spare parts laying around. I could rig up something for you by noon.
      Dave: No, no, no rigging.
      Joe: Aw, come on.
      Dave: No, no, just splurge and go down to the hardware store and spend 25 cents for a new jack.
      Joe: I have never and will never use any of that machine made mass produced garbage. I don't play that game.

    • Lisa and Jimmy discuss how to smooth things over with Dave.

      Jimmy: You know what? Call him "pumpkin". He likes that.
      Lisa: That's what his mother calls him.
      Jimmy: Yeah, but his Mom's really hot.

    • Bill: Dave is quite simply the best news director I have ever worked with.
      Catherine: But...?
      Bill: What? No. I really mean it.
      Catherine: Well... Bill McNeal shows a little compassion and sincerity. Remarkable.
      Bill: Those dimensions are there. They're just unexplored.

    • Jimmy: It's like some kind of civil war, and we all know what happens in a civil war, right Beth?
      Beth: Brother fights against brother?
      Jimmy: No, some nut job actor pops the President in the head while he's trying to watch the show.

    • Joe: I don't use any of that machine-made, mass-produced stuff.
      Dave: How neo-Luddite of you.
      Joe: How neo-unnecessary-big-word of you.

    • Joe: Duct tape? Man, that stuff's a ripoff, I make my own tape.

  • Notes

    • This episode is inspired by Paul Simms being the brunt of a bitch session. He heard everything because he was trying to take a nap in an adjoining room. This episode was filmed six months later.

    • The actor who played the waiter at the bar goes uncredited.

  • Allusions

    • Joe: The Eagle has landed!

      Believing he has successfully jury rigged the sound board, Joe exults by quoting Neil Armstrong's confirmation that Apollo 11 has indeed landed on the lunar surface. Both are amazing achievements in engineering (or at least Joe thinks so).

    • Bill: This is Barry White coming at you . . .

      When Joe is fooling around with the microphone, Bill's voice sounds extremely deep and he takes the opportunity to pretend he's soul singer Barry White. White had a distinctive bass voice that made his love songs sensuous and dramatic.

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