Season 3 Episode 14

Complaint Box

Aired Tuesday 8:30 PM Jan 29, 1997 on NBC
out of 10
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Episode Summary

After new Employee Conduct Guidelines are introduced Dave finds himself spending the rest of the day fielding frivolous complaints from the staff, a situation complicated by the fact that a vacationing Jimmy is constantly keeping in contact through a satellite hook-up.

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    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (0)

    • QUOTES (7)

      • Matthew: So you can't make fun of somebody for what they believe in.
        Lisa: Right.
        Beth: What if it's something crazy, like the ancient Egyptians were actually Martians who came to Earth looking for water?
        Joe: And what exactly is crazy about that?
        Bill: Let's see, I'm a Martian, I need water, I'm gonna travel who knows how many thousands of miles ...
        Lisa: 34.6 million.
        Bill: 34.6 million miles to Earth and then land in the middle of a huge desert, makes sense to me.
        Joe: It wasn't always a desert. Think about it.

      • Lisa: (after Lisa gets a complaint about special treatment from Dave) Name one thing I get from you the rest of the staff doesn't.
        Dave: Well, for starters, there's my...
        (The buzzer rings.)
        Lisa: Besides that.

      • Dave: (reading a complaint to Matthew) It says, uh, "Matthew tells long, boring stories about his personal life that nobody cares about."
        Matthew: Ouch.
        Dave: Yeah. Now, don't worry. It's just somebody's idea of a joke.
        Matthew: Well, I think we should talk about this.
        Dave: It's really not necessary.
        Matthew: Well, I think it is necessary, because I do, actually. I do tell long, boring stories. Haven't you noticed?
        Dave: Well, be that as it may, it's not disruptive to the workplace.
        Matthew: I think it is. I mean, people are trying to work out there, and there's me, telling my long, boring stories. Blah, blah, blah. Even I can't get any work done, because there I am going blabbety-blibbity-blabbety all the time. Jeez.
        Dave: You wrote this complaint about yourself, didn't you?
        Matthew: (pause) I cannot divulge that information.

      • Bill: (to Dave) How was the... oatmeal you had for breakfast?
        Dave: I haven't had oatmeal in years.
        Bill: Oh, you must be really backed up. Didn't you ever call my colon-cleansing guy?

      • Joe: What we have here is a state-of-the-art two-way satellite voice hook-up. I call it the Garelli 1000.

      • Bill: The eyes are the windows to the skull, my friend.
        Dave: ...Soul.
        Bill: For those who have one, yes.

      • [Reading cards from the complaint box]
        Dave: "You suck." "You suck." "Howard Stern rules." "If you can read this you are a dork." "Coupon for one free kiss from Joe if you are a girl." "We need more complaint cards." "Coupon for one free kiss from Joe if you are a guy."
        Joe: Hey.
        Dave: ([pulling out a fortune cookie slip] "You will go on a journey, happy long time." "Matthew is a moron." "No I'm not." "Yes you are." "No I'm not infinity." "Yes you are infinity plus one." And this one, "I have doobie in my funk," which I assume is some sort of reference to the Parliament Funkadelic song, "Chocolate City." Uh, "You got peanut butter in my chocolate. You got chocolate in my peanut butter. Together they taste like crap." "Matthew has been staring at me all day... and I like it." I don't think I get this one, it says, "I try to be good hard-worker-man, but refrigemater so messy, so so messy."
        Lisa: I think that one's probably from Milos, the janitor.
        Dave: Oh. Refrigem... oh, then that one's legitimate.
        [continues reading the complaint cards]
        Dave: Uh, "Who's the black private dick who's the sex machine with all the chicks."
        Bill, Beth, Lisa, Matthew, Joe: Shaft!
        Bill: I thought we'd all enjoy that.
        Dave: [reading one last card] And, "Help, I'm being held prisoner in a complaint box," which is actually kinda funny.

    • NOTES (2)

      • Instead of the usual end credits, we have a scene with Dave having a conversation Jimmy's satellite link box just as Jimmy encounters an alligator.

      • The voiceover performance of Norm Macdonald as Roger, Jimmy James's lawyer, goes uncredited; as does the actress who portrayed Lisa's lawyer.

    • ALLUSIONS (2)

      • The movie that Jimmy (via his satellite link box) goes to see is Michael (1996).

      • Dave: Looks like we have ourselves a convoy.
        Joe: Ain't she a beautiful sight?

        After indulging in in some trucker style banter with Jimmy via his satellite hook-up, Dave and Joe quote C.W. McCall's top 40 hit Convoy (1975) which helped fuel the citizen's band radio craze of the 70's.