Jimmy: It's a sprig of balsam fir all the way from New Hampshire.
Matthew: Mmm, it smells like really good bathroom disinfectant.
Joe: I can't believe you're just gonna let everybody quit like that.
Dave: Oh, it's just a case of temporary insanity, you know. Mass, infectious, purely temporary insanity.
Joe: I just can't believe I'm never going to see those guys again.
Dave: Well, Joe, I mean, even if they do go up there, New Hampshire's only a three hour drive.
Joe: Maybe for you, but I don't travel.
Dave: No, it's a really nice drive.
Joe: I don't think you get it. I've never been outside New York City my whole life.
Joe: I took the ferry once to Staten Island. Does that count?
Joe: Then never. You know, I figure I was born here in the cradle of civilization. Why would I want to go anywhere else?
Dave: Uh-huh, well you got a point, Joe.
Joe: Of course, when you leave the city, that's when they get you.
Dave: When who gets you?
Joe: The aliens. You know, 93.7% of all abductions occur outside of New York.
Dave: Okay let me see if I've got this straight. You've never left New York city limits because you're afraid that the.
Joe: I'm not afraid of anything.
Dave: I understand, I understand.
Joe: I want to be clear on that. I'm Joe Garelli, and I'm not afraid of anything.
Dave; Fine, and Joe I really wouldn't worry about it. I'm sure they'll come back and visit us from time to time. I mean, you know, those that are still on the planet Earth.
Joe: Dave, you're right.
Dave: Right about what?
Joe: I gotta go up there. I gotta help them. I gotta confront my fears.
Dave: No Joe, confronting your fears, that's the cowards way.
Joe: Dave, they don't even know what's in store for them. Abductions, implants, forced breeding. I gotta be brave.
Dave: No no, be afraid, be very afraid.
Joe: Dave, you don't want a Matthew-alien hybrid running around out there, do you?
Dave: Well no, but.
Joe: Dave, it's too late. My path has been set. I'm gonna go up to New Hampshire and kick some little alien ass, or tentacles or whatever they got. I'm just gonna shoot low and kick hard. I gotta go.
Beth: Dave we got you a little something, just a reminder of all of our days together.
Dave: A coffee mug.
Beth: Yeah, yeah. Remember when we all used to work together? You would always drink coffee.
Dave: Yeah vaguely, vaguely yeah.
Lisa: And there's a picture of all of us goofing off on it, so when you start to miss us you can look at it and remember how irritated you used to get.
Dave: Whose idea was it for Max to take his shirt off?
Max: I do all my own stunts.
Max: I call shotgun.
Joe: It's already been called.
Max: That's not fair.
Joe: Dude, if something goes down, wouldn't you rather have me riding shotgun? And I do mean literally.
Jimmy: Okay people, goin' up to country. Got to get away. I wouldn't waste too much time saying goodbye to Dave. I have a feeling we're going to be seeing him again real soon.
Dave: When will that be, sir.
Jimmy: That will be when you come to your senses and realize that you're passing up the opportunity of a lifetime. C'mon people.
Dave: I'm sorry, I can't.
Lisa: Are you sure, Dave?
Dave: Yeah, I guess we all knew this day would come eventually. I suppose it's nice that so many of you will be staying together.
Beth: Bye Dave.
Dave: Oh and I just want to say one more thing. You're all making a huge mistake. I mean you're being stupid. Stupid! Stupid!
Jimmy: We'll miss you too, you gap-toothed little monkey.
Dave: Matthew, what are you doing under there?
Matthew: Surprise! Remember how you thought I was going to abandon you? In your dreams, buddy!
Dave: Yeah, in my dreams.
Matthew: So what do you want me to do? We gotta get crackin'. You want me to do some electrical work, do some reporting, read the news, get you some coffee?
Dave: You take your pick.
Matthew: I'm gonna get you some coffee.
Matthew: How do you take it?
Dave: Hot and black.
Matthew: How about cold with little things floating on it?
The producers of the show had stated that if NewsRadio had been renewed for a year six, the whole show would have been retooled, quite possibly moving the show's locale from New York to New Hampshire. Obviously, it never happened.
Lisa: When Matthew's mother dies, I picture him dressing up in her clothes and murdering transients.
A reference to the classic Alfred Hitchcock movie Psycho and the insanity of Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins) who dressed up as his dead mother and murdered guests at the Bates Motel, most notably Janet Leigh during the movie's famous shower scene.
Dave: Be afraid, be very afraid.
This was a line spoken by Geena Davis in David Cronenberg's 1986 horror movie The Fly. It was also used as the film's tagline.