Mr. Feldman: (after Dan rescues him) Let go of me, you creep!
Harry: Hey, hey, have some respect! (indicating Dan) This man saved your life! And now, you have to sleep with him!
Dan: How do I love thee? Let me count the ways... I know 52.
Hotel Manager: I brought the champagne you requested.
Hotel Manager: Yeah, it was a difficult task after all Chateau Libido isn't one of our usual selections, shall I unscrew it for you.
Mr. Feldman: I'm 38 years old.
Dan: Well so am I...
Mr. Feldman: ...and I'm a virgin.
Dan: Happy landings!
Marsha Warfield is a regular cast member in the introduction of the show.