Night Court

Season 1 Episode 13

Hi Honey, I'm Home

Aired Unknown Mar 31, 1984 on NBC
out of 10
User Rating
37 votes

By Users

Episode Summary

Harry has to settle the legal status of a woman who remarried after her first husband was mistakenly declared dead, and who wants her back.

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    Charles Napier

    Charles Napier

    Mitch Bowers

    Guest Star

    Marcia Rodd

    Marcia Rodd

    Nora Sedgwick

    Guest Star

    Basil Hoffman

    Basil Hoffman

    Dwayne Sedgwick

    Guest Star

    Martin Garner

    Martin Garner


    Recurring Role

    Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


    • TRIVIA (1)

    • QUOTES (8)

      • Liz: Hi, Selma, how did it go?
        Selma: How did what go?
        Liz: Oh, come on, Selma. Don't keep us all in suspense. How did the date go with Bernie?
        Selma: Oh, that.
        Liz: Selma, you don't have to give us all the details. What time did you get home?
        Selma: Well, if you must know, very early.
        Bull: You didn't have a good time?
        Selma: I didn't say that.
        Harry: You said you got home early.
        Selma: I got home around midnight. Bernie got home around noon.

      • Nora: I love two people. That doesn't sound as bad as it feels.

      • Harry: So we've got a real toughie here, don't we?
        Mitch: Not really, judge, the way I see it.
        Harry: That was a rhetorical question, Mr. Bowers.
        Mitch: I'd like a chance to answer it.
        Dwayne: (laughs) A few good men.
        Mitch: Hey, look, buddy. You stole my wife, okay? But don't be knocking the Corps!

      • Mitch: What are the locks on the door for? You never needed them when I was around.
        Dwayne: You never had antiques.
        Mitch: Never had any use for them. Never had any use for poachers, either. I got a mind -
        Dwayne: If you have a mind, I've seen no evidence of it.

      • Bernie: Well, hello again.
        Selma: I gotta gun, Bernie.
        Bernie: You look very sexy in that uniform.
        Selma: Bullets, Bernie. I got those too.

      • Bernie: Hello gorgeous. (Selma turns around) Tell me what do you need, darling?
        Selma: Pack of cigarettes.
        Bernie: They say smoking is bad for you, you know?
        Selma: Then give me a plug of tobacco and a can to spit in.
        Bernie: I know. Who needs a lecture, right? All I'm saying is that a body like that you should be good to it. I would be.
        Selma: I'll find a vending machine.
        Bernie: No. Wait. Here, Selma. I know your name. I know your brand.
        Selma: How much?
        Bernie: They're on the house.
        Selma: Then I'll take a carton.
        Bernie: Selma, I hope you won't mind my saying this but I've had my eye on you for quite a while.
        Selma: I need matches too.
        Bernie: Selma, please. I'm only human. My name is Bernie.
        Selma: Bernie the human. Got it.

      • Bernie: I want to make you company.
        Selma: This is why God made television.

      • Nora: They both, in their own ways have made me the happiest women in the world. (she starts sobbing.)
        Mitch: Oh come on, now, honey. Stop it.
        Dwayne: Don't cry, Nora.
        Mitch: Take your hands off her, or we'll end this real quick.
        Dwayne: Oh, yes, violence! Just the sort of behavior I'd expect from a borderline Homo Sapien.
        Mitch: Why you--I never even hugged my father!

    • NOTES (1)

    • ALLUSIONS (0)