Harry: What's the charge?
Dan: Trespassing, your honor. Some security guards at Redfield's department store found him and a couple of other derelicts sleeping there after hours.
Liz: Your honor, I object to the prosecution referring to my client as a derelict.
Dan: All Santa had in his bag were a box of Chicklets and a half empty bottle of gin.
Harry: Firing up the ol' Yule log, eh Mr. Claus.
Santa: Well sure I had a couple of laughs. It always takes me a couple of weeks to wind down after Christmas. But come March I'm back to work already; production meetings, toy conventions, zip codes to update.
Dan: What's the matter? Can't your little elves take some of the load off?
Santa: Sanny, there was a messy little business with a doll when you were eight, don't make a bring it up.