Season 5 Episode 21

Allegra Caldarello

Aired Wednesday 10:00 PM Feb 24, 2009 on FX
out of 10
User Rating
104 votes

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Episode Summary

Christian decides to employ Dr. Logan Taper for the practice, while Sean is revisited by a former client from Miami to have plastic surgery so she can attract suitors once her husband dies.

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  • Replaceable Written And Directed by Sean Jablonski

    Sean: "I can't replace you, Christian."

    Christian: "Everybody's replaceable, Sean. Even me."

    Those are some hard words to come out with but you have to hand it to Christian for trying to be strong. It's hard for him to face up to the fact that he might die but it's even harder to see those who he loves struggle with it more.

    For all their fighting, sharing of women and petty jealousies, Sean and Christian are each other's brother. While we didn't need Sean to repeatedly say that throughout this episode, there's no denying it too. Of course Christian could still come out fine if next week is anything to go by but he's certainly preparing for the worst.

    First off all, he wanted to find a decent surgeon that Sean could work with but more importantly, he wanted someone whom Sean could also befriend as well. Naturally Sean was a lot more reluctant to go along with this but you could understand why Christian was doing this.

    On paper, Dr Logan Taper should've been the most ideal candidate. He had the credentials as a surgeon as well as a similarly cavalier attitude towards sexuality that Christian exhibits and he even made his best efforts to be as understanding as he could of the situation at hand. And that's not even taking in the fact that the producers got an actor as brilliant as Richard Burgi to play the role.

    Of course on Nip/Tuck absolutely no-one is allowed to be perfect and Logan came with a bit of drawback himself. From his fascination with furniture, I had the feeling that he was going to turn out to be some sort of an OCD hound in the making but the real truth was a lot more interesting.

    I have actually heard of objective sexualism and it's almost amazing that it's taken the series this long to actually get around to it. Having Sean and Christian walking in on Logan literally banging the couch was both horrifying and hilarious at the same time. Needless to say it also ended Logan's stint at McNamara/Troy but I suppose we should be thankful that Logan wasn't another Carver in the making.

    As for the Liz part of the episode. Well she's about to marry one of her life long, friends, so it was high time to actually introduce her mother into the mix. Yes, Mariella was every bit the disapproving and condescending piece of work I had expected her to be.

    Although she had a reason to be suspicious of Christian's reasons for wanting to marry Liz, I did get a laugh when she assumed that Christian was gay She was sort of right about the arrangement factor seeing as Christian wanted Liz to look after Wilbur when he passed away.

    However the old bat did go a bit far with the way she kept going on about Liz's look. Okay so Liz is hardly a FHM model but who gives a toss? Mariella's comments went way below the belt and it was because of her that Liz went under the knife, all so she could into a stupid wedding dress.

    Christian was wrong to reduce Liz's breasts to his liking but I did like him buying her the dress and the last scene with the two of them and Wilbur was cute. I still can't really get behind them as a couple but I do admit that they did have some genuinely lovely moments within this episode.

    As for Mariella, trust a hen party to be the very place where Liz could vent her fury on her horrid mother. I'm glad that Liz ended up standing up to the woman and that she had a good network of friends that could rally to her support. She'll need said friends when her and Christian implode as a couple as well.

    As for Teddy, I know there's a few people out there who dislike her but even they could be hard pressed to find anything truly detest worthy about her in this episode. I know she shouldn't have been so blunt with Sean about facing up to the reality of losing Christian but she did have a bit of a point.

    Luckily though she did get a nice scene later when she promised not to leave Sean. I don't know how long she can keep that promise up but I do know that the character is supposed to be coming back next season so maybe Teddy does care about Sean more than she'd like to admit.

    Also interesting was her little scene with Liz. I'm glad the two of them opted to be more friendly with each other. It's in Teddy's best interests not to antagonise Liz, especially if she wants to keep her job. Sean would definitely not put up with her causing mayhem for the practice anyway.

    Another fine point of this episode was the return of Allegra Caldarello. Yes the lady infamous lips came back to get more extensive work so her dying husband could pimp out to a letchy butcher. Manny might love Allegra and maybe he's right to be so worried about her financial future but he really shouldn't be trying to flog his wife off to the first man he can think.

    Weirdly though, while Allegra was affronted by Manny's audacity, she wasn't exactly complaining when he paired her off with a second, more younger looking suitor. Maybe that's what Allegra wanted all along. Either way, it was nice to have a pleasant reminder of the series' past and Allegra was certainly a pleasant surprise.

    Also in "Allegra Caldarello"

    Patients of the week were only Liz and Allegra. We didn't get anyone else in this episode.

    Mariella (re Liz): "We are celebrating. My daughter's getting married to a man of all things."

    Christian: "Well, nobody's perfect."

    Allegra told Sean and Christian that she saw the Hearts And Scalpels episode based on her. For a minute, I thought she was going to threaten them with a lawsuit.

    Allegra (to Sean/Christian): "I guess the only things you don't have to do are my lips."

    Manny: "Oh no, not those beauties."

    Theodora: "Not weird, I'm just curious."

    Liz: "Bi-curious?"

    Theodora: "Sorry, I didn't mean to be too personal. I just have trouble keeping my wild side in check. Having secrets is difficult, painful, don't you think?"

    I wonder what secrets does Teddy actually have in her closet. I assume that she's hiding something given that exchange.

    Theodora: "Life is changing. You can either ride the wave or get smashed to smithereens on the rocks."

    Sean (re Christian): "It's easy for you to say. He's my brother."

    Logan: "It's just a bachelor party."

    Sean: "It's not just a bachelor party. He's not just getting married, he's leaving. Twenty years working together, I certainly don't have a partner anymore." Some of the women at Liz's hen party were former lovers. None of them were disapproving of the fact that she was marrying a man.

    Liz (to Mariella): "My whole life you made me feel like there was something wrong with me. I wasn't as pretty as Kristy Sherman or as feminine as Kelly Peterson. I laughed too hard, I was awkward, I was clumsy. You called me your ugly duckling and I believed you."

    Sean: "Feels like I'm losing everyone."

    Theodora: "I promise you won't lose me. I know I can't replace him but that's the best I have to offer."

    Sean: "It's a lot."

    Standout music: I'm gonna go with Shawn Lee's "Kiss The Sky".

    Pretty much a stunner here. "Allegra Caldarello" felt very much in line with the quality that the series was able to produce during it's first two seasons. It's a delightful set up for what should be a great finale.moreless
  • Screwed the Couch

    Liz's mother was just as she was described over the years: intimidating, conservative and rude. Roma Maffia was, as usual, impressive in the episode and her inevitable confrontation with Mariela was performed with just the right amount of fear and sudden confidence on Liz's part.

    Richard Burgi, continuing his attempts to appear on every single TV series currently airing, was genius casting as Christian's would-be replacement. In his portrayal of Dr Logan Taper, he has the charm, looks and underlying sleaziness that make Julian McMahon's performances as Christian so compelling, and fit into the show really well. And, like most of Nip/Tuck's guest stars lately, he has his own kinky fetish. The couch humping was laugh-out-loud funny, even if it probably wasn't as groundbreaking as the writers would have liked (having already appeared on other shows). The scene where Taper licked his desk and started inspecting the couch were hilarious, while his final confrontation with Sean and Christian was great ("I'm sure you two can understand" -- "Get out!").

    It was neat to see the return of Allegra Calderello, one of the most memorable Nip/Tuck patients and one of my personal favorites. Elaine Hausman is great in the role, with the shyness and innocence, and I enjoyed that the storyline actually had some heart to it instead of simply wacky craziness.

    An entertaining episode, but one that admittedly suffers from the fact that its storyline structure is the exact same as many other episodes this season: Christian/Liz drama, surgery-of-the-week, new character with a skeezy fetish. Still, I had fun.

    Director: Sean Jablonski

    Writer: Sean Jablonski

    Rating: Bmoreless
  • Christian and Liz are about to get married....

    In this episode, Christian decides to leave the practice and hire a couch lover who likes to have sex with couches LMAO!! Sean is trying to make sense of the fact that Christian is leaving and he calls him a "brother" which is really sweet because they have been through alot in the past. The vagina lips lady is back and i like how they bring back the old miami characters to tie things up. Next week is the big season finale in which the preview i watched is very promising to be exciting and i beleive someone will die! Will Julia attend the wedding? How about Liz's mother? Will Sean be able to get through this difficult time? Only one more episode until the final season set to air next year :)moreless
Katee Sackhoff

Katee Sackhoff

Dr. Theodora 'Teddy' Rowe

Guest Star

Elaine Hausman

Elaine Hausman

Allegra Caldarello

Guest Star

Lillian Hurst

Lillian Hurst

Mariella Cruz

Guest Star

Linda Klein

Linda Klein

Nurse Linda

Recurring Role

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (3)

    • In this episode, Mrs. Caldarello says the skin for her lips was take from her breasts but in the original episode in which she appeared, she tells her husband it was taken from the back of her knees.

    • The video Sean was watching of younger versions of him, Christian and Julia was first seen in the pilot.

    • Allegra told Sean she saw an episode of his TV show with a character based on her.

      In this season premiere "Carly Summers", Sean and Christian told Freddie about Allegra's case, and he wrote an episode for Hearts And Scalpels with a character with the same case, except that her name was "P*ssy Lips" and she was abused by her father.

      In this episode, we find out that the last part also happened to Allegra.

  • QUOTES (0)

  • NOTES (4)

    • International airdates:
      Latin America: June 18, 2009 on Canal Fox.

    • Music Used In This Episode:

      Strangers In The Night - Sergi Vicente
      Time Can Never Erase - Hatfield Jazz Quartet
      You're Nobody Till Somebody Loves You - Dean Martin
      Kiss The Sky - Shawn Lee's Ping Pong Orchestra
      Strangers In The Night - Knights Bridge
      Theme From Come September - Bobby Darin
      Strangers In The Night - Beegie Adair Trio

    • Although listed in the opening credits, John Hensley, Kelly Carlson, and Joely Richardson do not appear in this episode.

    • Richard Burgi (Taper) received the "And" credit.


    • Liz: I'm all ready for my surgery, Mr. DeMille.

      That's a line from the Academy Award winning 1950 movie Sunset Boulevard, except that it was "I'm all ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille".