Season 5 Episode 21

Allegra Caldarello

Aired Wednesday 10:00 PM Feb 24, 2009 on FX

Episode Fan Reviews (3)

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  • Replaceable Written And Directed by Sean Jablonski

    Sean: "I can't replace you, Christian."
    Christian: "Everybody's replaceable, Sean. Even me."

    Those are some hard words to come out with but you have to hand it to Christian for trying to be strong. It's hard for him to face up to the fact that he might die but it's even harder to see those who he loves struggle with it more.

    For all their fighting, sharing of women and petty jealousies, Sean and Christian are each other's brother. While we didn't need Sean to repeatedly say that throughout this episode, there's no denying it too. Of course Christian could still come out fine if next week is anything to go by but he's certainly preparing for the worst.

    First off all, he wanted to find a decent surgeon that Sean could work with but more importantly, he wanted someone whom Sean could also befriend as well. Naturally Sean was a lot more reluctant to go along with this but you could understand why Christian was doing this.

    On paper, Dr Logan Taper should've been the most ideal candidate. He had the credentials as a surgeon as well as a similarly cavalier attitude towards sexuality that Christian exhibits and he even made his best efforts to be as understanding as he could of the situation at hand. And that's not even taking in the fact that the producers got an actor as brilliant as Richard Burgi to play the role.

    Of course on Nip/Tuck absolutely no-one is allowed to be perfect and Logan came with a bit of drawback himself. From his fascination with furniture, I had the feeling that he was going to turn out to be some sort of an OCD hound in the making but the real truth was a lot more interesting.

    I have actually heard of objective sexualism and it's almost amazing that it's taken the series this long to actually get around to it. Having Sean and Christian walking in on Logan literally banging the couch was both horrifying and hilarious at the same time. Needless to say it also ended Logan's stint at McNamara/Troy but I suppose we should be thankful that Logan wasn't another Carver in the making.

    As for the Liz part of the episode. Well she's about to marry one of her life long, friends, so it was high time to actually introduce her mother into the mix. Yes, Mariella was every bit the disapproving and condescending piece of work I had expected her to be.

    Although she had a reason to be suspicious of Christian's reasons for wanting to marry Liz, I did get a laugh when she assumed that Christian was gay She was sort of right about the arrangement factor seeing as Christian wanted Liz to look after Wilbur when he passed away.

    However the old bat did go a bit far with the way she kept going on about Liz's look. Okay so Liz is hardly a FHM model but who gives a toss? Mariella's comments went way below the belt and it was because of her that Liz went under the knife, all so she could into a stupid wedding dress.

    Christian was wrong to reduce Liz's breasts to his liking but I did like him buying her the dress and the last scene with the two of them and Wilbur was cute. I still can't really get behind them as a couple but I do admit that they did have some genuinely lovely moments within this episode.

    As for Mariella, trust a hen party to be the very place where Liz could vent her fury on her horrid mother. I'm glad that Liz ended up standing up to the woman and that she had a good network of friends that could rally to her support. She'll need said friends when her and Christian implode as a couple as well.

    As for Teddy, I know there's a few people out there who dislike her but even they could be hard pressed to find anything truly detest worthy about her in this episode. I know she shouldn't have been so blunt with Sean about facing up to the reality of losing Christian but she did have a bit of a point.

    Luckily though she did get a nice scene later when she promised not to leave Sean. I don't know how long she can keep that promise up but I do know that the character is supposed to be coming back next season so maybe Teddy does care about Sean more than she'd like to admit.

    Also interesting was her little scene with Liz. I'm glad the two of them opted to be more friendly with each other. It's in Teddy's best interests not to antagonise Liz, especially if she wants to keep her job. Sean would definitely not put up with her causing mayhem for the practice anyway.

    Another fine point of this episode was the return of Allegra Caldarello. Yes the lady infamous lips came back to get more extensive work so her dying husband could pimp out to a letchy butcher. Manny might love Allegra and maybe he's right to be so worried about her financial future but he really shouldn't be trying to flog his wife off to the first man he can think.

    Weirdly though, while Allegra was affronted by Manny's audacity, she wasn't exactly complaining when he paired her off with a second, more younger looking suitor. Maybe that's what Allegra wanted all along. Either way, it was nice to have a pleasant reminder of the series' past and Allegra was certainly a pleasant surprise.

    Also in "Allegra Caldarello"

    Patients of the week were only Liz and Allegra. We didn't get anyone else in this episode.

    Mariella (re Liz): "We are celebrating. My daughter's getting married to a man of all things."
    Christian: "Well, nobody's perfect."

    Allegra told Sean and Christian that she saw the Hearts And Scalpels episode based on her. For a minute, I thought she was going to threaten them with a lawsuit.

    Allegra (to Sean/Christian): "I guess the only things you don't have to do are my lips."
    Manny: "Oh no, not those beauties."

    Theodora: "Not weird, I'm just curious."
    Liz: "Bi-curious?"
    Theodora: "Sorry, I didn't mean to be too personal. I just have trouble keeping my wild side in check. Having secrets is difficult, painful, don't you think?"

    I wonder what secrets does Teddy actually have in her closet. I assume that she's hiding something given that exchange.

    Theodora: "Life is changing. You can either ride the wave or get smashed to smithereens on the rocks."
    Sean (re Christian): "It's easy for you to say. He's my brother."

    Logan: "It's just a bachelor party."
    Sean: "It's not just a bachelor party. He's not just getting married, he's leaving. Twenty years working together, I certainly don't have a partner anymore." Some of the women at Liz's hen party were former lovers. None of them were disapproving of the fact that she was marrying a man.

    Liz (to Mariella): "My whole life you made me feel like there was something wrong with me. I wasn't as pretty as Kristy Sherman or as feminine as Kelly Peterson. I laughed too hard, I was awkward, I was clumsy. You called me your ugly duckling and I believed you."

    Sean: "Feels like I'm losing everyone."
    Theodora: "I promise you won't lose me. I know I can't replace him but that's the best I have to offer."
    Sean: "It's a lot."

    Standout music: I'm gonna go with Shawn Lee's "Kiss The Sky".

    Pretty much a stunner here. "Allegra Caldarello" felt very much in line with the quality that the series was able to produce during it's first two seasons. It's a delightful set up for what should be a great finale.