Ridley: (to Vanessa) I'm not like you. I'm not a lezzie.
Vanessa's Mom: What's a lezzie?
Ridley's Mom: Your daughter likes vagina.
Christian: Are you doing this because you were rejected by a woman?
Mr. Mantegna: One woman? Try thirty. In one night.
Christian: Don't worry, Mr. Mantegna. When we're done with you, the only tits you'll be feeling up are gonna belong to Hooters girls.
Julia: Can't a woman just do something nice for her husband?
Sean: A woman can definitely do something nice for her husband. You driving 20 minutes to bring me lunch sounds like a woman who wants her husband to do something nice for her.
Julia: Having three-way sex in my house is a very big deal, Matt.
Matt: You guys are lucky that that was all I was doing. I know kids hooked on crank, kids who are plotting to blow up the school.
Julia: Congratulations. You win the award for least screwed up teenager.