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Dr. Christian Troy
Dr. Liz Cruz
Dr. Sean McNamara
It's revealed that Mrs. Grubman's first name is Hedda.
Mrs. Grubman refers to Christian being in her bedroom under 'slightly different circumstances' and also regretting that she didn't sleep with him when she had the chance. This refers back to the Season 1 episode Nanette Babcock where Christian- under duress from Sean- offered to sleep with her if she would drop a lawsuit against McNamara/Troy.
Christian: (at the lectern, reading his eulogy) 'I'm here to pay respects to Hetta Grubman. Her life was like that of any other, filled with accomplishments that should be exalted, regrets that should be learned from. Her wit and candour…' (folds up speech, and walks away from lectern) This is bullshit. (turns back to the coffin and walks toward it) Truth is, Mrs. Grubman, you were a huge pain in the ass. Pretty much everybody hated you, so much that they boycotted your funeral. You were obsessed with your looks and plastic surgery and in the end it cost you every relationship you ever had. (pause; stands over the coffin and looks at her) But I know somewhere inside, you meant well. And you were funny and honest. And you stuck up for yourself. And I loved the fact that you never let me off the hook. Life was more interesting with you in it, and… (starts to cry) and I'm gonna miss you. And I love you too. (kisses her) Goodbye, Mrs. Grubman.
(Avetta and Christian are the only people at Mrs. Grubman's funeral)
Christian: Her daughter Claire? She couldn't find the time to come to her mother's funeral?
Avetta: Claire called the house. Said that her mother died for her almost two years ago, when she stopped seeing her after she had the stroke. Said that when she chose vanity over family, it was too much for her to handle. (pause; laughs) Did you hear what she put on her headstone? 'I came, I saw, I conquered'.
(Sean reveals to Julia that he was born with a cleft palate)
Julia: When did you have the surgery? Who paid for it?
Sean: I was eight. My mother used the college money. We did it behind my dad's back. Lucky for everyone, I was a good student, qualified for financial aid. He never forgave her. He left a few months later.
Julia: That's why he left you guys? Always seemed such a mystery to me.
Sean: I think he felt he lost control of the family. I guess… we pushed him out. My mom worked two jobs to support us.
Julia: I don't understand why you just didn't tell me.
Sean: Cause I put that pathetic kid behind me!
Julia: Oh no you didn't! That kid is why you're a plastic surgeon! Why did you have to keep it a secret?
Sean: I couldn't let you see me as that pathetic, ugly kid. I was afraid that's all you'd ever see.
Julia: In so many ways, that little kid is who I fell in love with.
Sean: Only because you never saw him.
Sean: At the moment, I'm grateful for every single surgery that's giving me the skill to make my son whole.
Christian: What if you couldn't fix Conor, you couldn't make him as close to perfect as possible? How would that make you feel?
Sean: Have you been talking to my wife? All I'm getting from the people around me lately is this touchy-feely negative psychobabble!
Sean: Linda told me you're doing the eulogy at her funeral.
Christian: Yeah, I'm struggling with what I'm going to say. All Miami's going to be there, she sent out engraved invitations. All I can think of is 'here lies a woman who was so busy looking in the mirror, feeling like she wasn't good enough, that she missed her life'. She could have had a singing career, did you know that?
Sean: I didn't know much about her besides her desperate, overbearing personality.
Christian: She wasn't such a bad egg. But I'd certainly feel more comfortable if I could stand up there knowing that my contribution to her life was a little more… positive. I feel like her drug dealer.
Julia: I need you to stay, to help me through this. You're my rock. I can't go through this alone.
Sawyer: See, you underestimate how powerful you are, Julia. And these books, they have concrete suggestions on how to help Conor through this. It won't be the end of the world.
Julia: We have to convince Sean to postpone the surgery, at least until Conor's older, y'know, so we can prepare him for it. I'm not going to sign the surgery consent form.
Sawyer: OK, but before you make any decisions, let me tell you what I've decided. I'm leaving.
Julia: You're what?
Sawyer: I don't know it ended up like this, but it's clear that I've become a disruptive influence in this household and that's not good for anyone. Especially not Conor.
Mrs. Grubman: We had the most wonderful brunch this morning at Restaurant San Michel.
Christian: You're going public, that's fantastic.
Avetta: Baby, it was like opening the gates to Hell. Anything on the menu with cheese, beef or cream in it, Fatty Beltbuckles had to have two.
Mrs. Grubman: Well, look who's talking! I never saw anyone order lobster and a chocolate milkshake for breakfast before.
Avetta: Well, I figured if the old goat's gonna be spending my inheritance, I'm gonna enjoy it. Though maybe I should have stopped at the milkshake.
Christian: We can get you some liposuction, Avetta, if you're worried about your weight.
Avetta: I was talking about my heartburn, dummy. I don't need no hoover vacuum stealing my ass. Where I come from, I don't get lipo to attract a man. I eat another cherry pie and put more junk in my trunk, know what I'm saying?
Christian: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you.
Avetta: Drum up your work with some pitiful, self-hating creature, Dr. Troy, not me, OK? I love myself. Every pound of it.
(Sawyer joins Julia and Sean for the consult into Conor's operation)
Sawyer: How do you measure those pain levels, if I may ask?
Christian: Oh, we doctors, we've got all kinds of tricks up our sleeves.
Julia: That was a reasonable question, Christian.
Sawyer: Well, I'm only asking because, according to the research I've been reading, the traditional ways of measuring infant pain- tears and brain activity- it's just not as conclusive as we wish it was.
Christian: Are you aware of the expertise, mastery and professional status gathered in this room?
Sawyer: With all due respect, Julia asked me to be here today to bring up some of these issues. In other words, I'm doing my job. I'm sorry if that knocks anyone's nose out of joint.
Mrs. Grubman: I've had a wonderful life, with only two regrets. That I didn't sleep with you when I had the chance. And I never got to sing at the Rainbow Room.
Christian: The Rainbow Room? Don't you have to be able to sing for that?
Mrs. Grubman: (hands him a CD) Listen to my demo on your way home. You'll see. I was going to be Burt Bacharach's girl before he picked Dionne Warwick.
Mrs. Grubman: Slightly different circumstances from when you were last here, Dr Troy. Though it doesn't have to be. How about sending me out of this world with a smile on my face?
(Avetta has asked Christian to come by to see Mrs. Grubman)
Christian: How is she?
Avetta: I told you she's stopped eating. You gotta do something. I gave her an IV and she pulled it out of her arm. That bitch has a death wish.
(at the diner, a child makes fun of Conor's hands and Sean tells him off)
Mr. Thompson: Take it easy, buddy, he's just a kid.
Sean: He's making fun of a handicap! Maybe if you got your nose out of that newspaper and paid him some attention, he wouldn't be such a little asshole.
Mr. Thompson: Don't call my son an asshole. Or your kids are going to see their old man getting his ass kicked.
(Sean punches Mr. Thompson)
Sean: Your son's an asshole, but not half as big an asshole as his father.
(in a flashback, Sean sees his parents arguing over an operation for him)
Tom McNamara: There's no money for it, Kathleen. It's a vanity operation and we can't afford it. He's just gonna have to toughen up.
Kathleen McNamara: We've got five thousand saved, Tom.
Tom McNamara: Oh, that's brilliant, Kathleen. Brilliant. That's his college fund. (to young Sean, who is lacing up a baseball glove) You'd rather be the picture-perfect pretty boy stocking shelves at the True Value? No education. No prospects. That's what she wants. Is that what you want? (to Kathleen) That's you in a nutshell. Teach him to take the easy road. No goddamn priorities.
Kathleen McNamara: This isn't about me! He's being taunted and humiliated and he is suffering. I love him too much to stand by and do nothing.
Tom McNamara: And I don't love my son? Is that where you're taking this?
Sean: I was over at the anatomy lab, practicing digital nerve dissections. I haven't done one since med school.
Julia: You've been dissecting fingers? (pause) Do you use baby body parts?
Sean: Uh-huh. (Julia sighs) See, this is why we shouldn't get into it. I can't deal with you overreacting to foetal cadavers.
Julia: You're the one who's overreacting, Sean! (puts Conor into his cot) Y'know, I mean, really, if it was any other surgeon, I would have a chance to ask questions. As it is, y'know, everything I say just seems to stress you out.
Julia: What did you want to say?
Sawyer: I was just thinking how far you've come. It's impressive. Motherhood becomes you, Julia.
Christian: I'll need to suck sixty pounds out of you to get you into a size two dress.
Mrs. Grubman: What do I care? I'll be dead.
Mrs. Grubman: We'll move on to Plan B. You'll perform the operations after I die. We'll make my coming-out party my funeral! I'll be the best-looking corpse since Zsa Zsa Gabor. Although she'd never fit into the size two I'll be wearing in my casket.
Avetta: Zsa Zsa's dead?
Mrs. Grubman: Not officially.
Mrs. Grubman: I was preparing for my triumphant return. Now, the goal was to re-emerge at a gala affair attended by everybody who's anybody in Miami. And the final step before my coming-out was a visit here for a few refresher operations.
Christian: 'Was'? Why the past tense?
Mrs. Grubman: Well, there may not be time for a party any longer, Dr. Troy. See, a few days ago, I found out that I have stage four lung cancer. It has metastasized to my bones and my liver. There's nothing they can do. The grim reaper could ask me for a final samba at any minute.
Christian: This is for old times' sake. Tell me what you don't like about yourself.
Mrs. Grubman: Dr. Troy…
Avetta: Can I answer that one? Cause there are a few things I don't like about Driving Miss Crazy here.
Mrs. Grubman: No, you can't answer that one, Avetta. If I wanted someone with an opinion, I'd have hired Star Jones.
Mrs. Grubman: A shot of Botox is the elixir of life, Dr. Troy.
Mr. Thompson: You humiliated me in front of my boy.
Sean: Looks like you two are working through it.
Mr. Thompson: Yeah…I had to explain to him that I what I did was wrong, what he did was wrong, and what you did was really, really, wrong. I think he gets it now.
Sean: What position does he play?
Mr. Thompson: Shortstop. I mean…he's a little slower than the other kids, but he did turn a double last night. Won them the game.
Sean: Every kid should have a moment like that. Walk-off homerun, buzzer beater. That's all I want for Connor. He may never get that chance, but all I want is for him to be normal. Do you what you gotta do with the lawsuit. I just want to apologize for what I did and what I said.
Dr. Troy: Mrs. Grubman, I'm your plastic surgeon; I won't be your undertaker.
Mrs. Grubman: There is not an undertaker in Miami who has an ounce of your artistic talent, Dr. Troy. My body is your canvas, and I want you to be the last man to touch it.
Julia: Do you know the difference between God and a Surgeon. God doesn't think he's a Surgeon.
First appearance by Ruth Williamson (Mrs. Grubman) since the season 2 episode "Julia McNamara".
Original International Air Dates:
Czech Republic: January 21, 2009 on TV Nova
Eryn Krueger Mekash, Stephanie A. Fowler,
Bill Corso, Mary Kay Witt, Christopher Allen Nelson and Christien Tinsley were nominated for the 2007 Emmy Award for "Outstanding Prosthetic Makeup for a Series, Miniseries, Movie or a Special" for this episode.
Burt Bacharach was credited as a "Special Appearance". Although he wasn't the first person to receive that credit (Larry Hagman was first), Bacharach was the first one to be credited during the end credits instead of the main credits. Also, he was the second person to play him/herself: Joan Rivers was the first.
Although listed in the opening credits, John Hensley and Kelly Carlson do not appear in this episode.
Peter Dinklage and Mo'Nique are both credited as Special Guest Stars.
Music featured in the episode:
"Don't trip" by Bob Mair, Joel Wachbrit, Richard Trapp (Christian and Sean discuss while preparing for surgery)
"The windows of the world" by Burt Bacharach (Christian visits Mrs. Grubman and discovers that in the past she was a singer)
"This girl's in love with you" by Burt Bacharach & Ruth Williamson (Christian imagines Mrs Grubman singing with Burt Bacharach)
"Jesus to a child" by George Michael (Sean performs surgery on Conor and thinks about his own surgery years before)
Avetta refers to Mrs. Grubman as 'Driving Miss Crazy'.
This is a riff on the 1989 Bruce Beresford film Driving Miss Daisy in which a cantankerous old white woman (Jessica Tandy) is chauffeured by a straight-talking black man (Morgan Freeman). The relationship between the two characters is similar to the relationship between Avetta and Mrs. Grubman.
Mrs. Grubman says that if she'd have wanted someone with an opinion, she'd have hired Star Jones
Star Jones is a very outspoken and forthright TV presenter and writer, a lawyer and former prosecutor who was a former co-host on the ABC talk-show The View
Mrs. Grubman mentions wanting to be 'the best-looking corpse since Zsa Zsa Gabor'.
Zsa Zsa Gabor is a Hungarian-born actress and socialite, famous for her many marriages and some infamous trouble in the late 1980s when she was arrested for slapping a police officer. Recently, her health has been called into question as she had a major stroke in early 2005.
Mrs. Grubman says she regrets that she 'never got to sing at the Rainbow Room'.
The Rainbow Room is a well-known upscale restaurant in New York, located in the Rockerfeller Center.
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