Season 4 Episode 5

Dawn Budge

Aired Wednesday 10:00 PM Oct 03, 2006 on FX
out of 10
User Rating
212 votes

By Users

Episode Summary

A lottery winner offers Christian a fortune. Christian certainly needs the money since he's being blackmailed by James. Christian and Sean are trying to get Matt away from Kimber and Scientology. Sean offers something to Julia.

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  • Dawn: "I look gorgeous; almost as gorgeous as my house. My very own McMansion, just like I always dreamed. Don't you just love the place?" Christian: "Looks like Liberace took a dump in here."moreless

    I cringed watching Rosie O’Donnell’s white-trash character in the previews for this week's episode, but, surprisingly, I enjoyed her a hell of a lot more than I thought I would. I'm no Rosie fan, but I thought she did a great job with the role. She provided great comedic moments, and delivered all her lines just right; it would have been easy to go over the top. Although her story had a pretty simple theme, money can't by love, it still was an effective one, and her ending scene as she curled up in her bed alone hit me.

    Nice twist at the end of tonight's episode, huh? I know I didn't see it coming. I had suspected there was more to Michelle's story, but I didn't think she would be in cahoots with the organ thieving hookers. How can she even look Liz in the eye? This is an interesting and sinister twist to her character, although she did look regretful afterwards. I doubt this will be the only time she’s forced to do this, though; blackmail seems to be James specialty, and I doubt she'll let Michelle off the hook any time soon.

    Speaking of James, Jacqueline Bissett is doing a great job with the character. She is a fantastic villain, and I loved her casual and frank attitude when blackmailing Christian into paying her money.

    James suggested that Christian loves Michelle, and I just have a hard time believing that. Their relationship is moving way too fast; it’s only been one week since they started dating. I think Christian’s attraction to Michelle is fueled by the fact that she's the one thing he can't have, the forbidden fruit (which is quickly becoming a theme this season). If Michelle left Burt for him the attraction would most likely be lost.

    I love Kimber, and I'm all for more drama between her and the McNamara's. (I especially loved the scene where Julia asked her how many more men in the family did she feel the need to corrupt.) The Scientology plotline, though, was the low point of the episode. That chase scene in the alley was silly and unnecessary. And seriously, are we supposed to believe that Matt outran trained professionals? I can’t believe Matt is walking out on his family once again (okay, maybe I can believe it), and after all the trouble he’s caused Sean and Julia they really just need to let him go. I can’t say I would be sad to see Matt leave; he’s certainly outlived his use for this series.

    Final Notes and Quotes

    - Julia and Sean got married. Again.

    - I loved Dawn rambling about K-fed and Britney during sex with Christian. And then when she started asking him if he had any mac-and-cheese. Priceless.

    - Julia found out about Sean's calls to Cindy Plumb this week.

    - Sean (re: Matt): “At least he’s not dating a Nazi or a transsexual.” Point taken.

    Final Rating: 3 out of 4 stars.

    - Tim Bronx

    Find this and many more reviews at: www.motionpicturereviews.commoreless
  • Money, That\'s All I Want Written by Hank Chilton Directed by Elodie Keene

    Mallory (to Dawn): “If that’s all your after, hell you’ve been skinny all your life”.

    This episode has the ability to make me you think of a certain ABBA song or do a collective rundown of every finance-related quote from Anya from Buffy the Vampire Slayer but if ever the theme of money and its pros and cons were drilled into an hour of television, then it would be this episode.

    For once I’m actually going to start with the main patient of the week because to be honest, it’s pretty much unavoidable to not talk about them in such detail for numerous amounts of reasons. The big one dealing with the lottery, which I never really bother to do but apparently if you’re very lucky you can win an obscene amount of cash and take steps into changing your life.

    This is the case with Dawn Budge, a woman so trailer trash and tacky, she’d make Anna Nicole Smith look reserved. The opening scene with her and her long suffering second husband Dwight and teen daughter Mallory as she categorically humiliates their physical and her insistence that they are changed to satisfy her needs, while having an overt enthusiasm to pay more than actually required for the breast implants and outer naval removed for Mallory, a penis enlargement for Dwight and excess amount of lipo for her is pretty out there, even if it fits the over the top realm in which this series inhabits to a tee.

    Again it’s a case of special stunt casting with Rosie O’Donnell taking on the role of the motor mouth lottery winner with the kind of effortless comedy she used to excel in earlier roles. Having Sean and Christian absorb Dawn’s audacious and obnoxious mannerisms in like a group of scandalised pensioners is priceless and if you were ever hoping of a Mrs Grubman replica, then you may enjoy her less refined neighbour while wanting to bash her over the head with the nearest object. Dawn is as pretty out there and delusional as Grubman and if she recurs, then you can imagine some inventive and cutting nicknames Christian may come up for her.

    Dawn’s attitude may know no bounds and apparently neither does her cheque book as a cash strapped Christian has no problem fleecing her as he plays Queer Eye by redecorating her tacky Mc Mansion (Damn Grey’s Anatomy for making the phrase “Mc” more widespread) and gets her into some stylish clothing and gets her nails and stuff scrubbed to perfection. Christian may have no problem with fleecing Dawn but he wins some kind of brownie points for rightly pointing out that just because she’s now loaded, she can’t take the trailer trash out of her and it certainly doesn’t improve her family life.

    Well would you want to be around someone as overbearing and obnoxious as Dawn? No, and seemingly neither do Mallory and Dwight and what’s worse for Dawn and my relatively desensitised eyes is the sight of Dawn catching Mallory and Dwight having sex. Dwight may be Mallory’s stepfather but this is still sick to watch and morally wrong. More appalling is Dawn’s lack of concern over the fact her second husband has been sleeping with her daughter. I mean come on; even someone like Dawn would want to call the police on the guy. That’s statutory right in front of you!

    Sadly for me, Dawn doesn’t really improve there as she decides the best way to deal with the Dwight/Mallory debacle is get a revenge screw from Christian, which the latter doesn’t agree to until the sound of $400,000 makes him compliant in this overall stupid plan. If a woman agreed to these terms she’d either be viewed as a slut or incredibly weak, knowing our luck Christian will be seen as a stud for his actions.

    I know to some people the sight of Julian McMahon and Rosie O’Donnell getting it on for our night time viewing is supposed to be an unpleasant thing to watch but when you seen them at it, Dawn’s constant chatter throughout the sex scene is too damn funny to turn your stomach.

    It’s also nice that Dawn doesn’t actually get any satisfaction from the experience and that Christian brands her a selfish **** for inflicting misery on Dwight and Mallory with Dawn then coming to the mind numbingly obvious conclusion that money doesn’t buy you happiness before finding out that’s she’s truly all alone through a letter from the people she made unhappy.

    Christian’s fleecing of Dawn this week did have a vital point as besides the fact he’ll pimp himself for the right price, he was also desperate to get James of his and Michelle’s back. Unfortunately for Christian, James is actually smart than he is and uses intimate photos of him and Michelle as an incentive to pay when he tries to back out of it. Oh and she also wanted a hand rejuvenation, which couldn’t be uttered without a smarmy double entendre from Christian either.

    As femme fatales go, not only is James is smart and scary (and dangerously veering into outdoing Ava) but she’s also deathly engaging and eerily charming. Her and Christian’s scenes are an absolute joy to watch, both dialogue and performance wise and their mutual interest and “love” of Michelle is debatable as neither of them are adverse in resorting to blackmail in order to get Michelle to do what they want. Did I buy James’ promise to leave Christian and Michelle alone once she was paid? Hell no! Do I believe that Christian genuinely loves Michelle? I’m not sure because it is a bit too rushed and this guy is way too messed up but I have an easier time buying into their relationship more than I ever bought into him loving Kimber despite the rotten foundation it has been built on.

    You do have to feel a bit of sympathy for Michelle. She’s had a rotten fortnight what with being blackmailed to surgically change escorts, forced into having sex with an employee and now returning to her former ways and seducing some hapless sod, only then to drug him and steal his kidney. Was there any real doubt that she and James weren’t involved in the organ stealing group? For me, none whatsoever and while I don’t condone Michelle’s actions one bit, it does end the episode on a very interesting note as she shows her surgical skills better than she did last week.

    Elsewhere Sean and Christian’s attempts to get Matt out of Scientology as Kimber sinks her claws into him even further were always destined but man, did they spiral out of control here or what? The bribe of a Porsche briefly worked until Kimber managed to spell out for Matt that he was being used by his suppressive fathers and he proceeded to move out. Matt hasn’t really infuriated me this season but he being twisted around the thumb of the current woman he’s hot for is starting to get old. Ava and Ariel were bad enough but Matt knows Kimber and he could his sympathy and attraction for her aside, he’d soon realise what a bad idea Scientology really is.

    The stance on it is definitely against and Julia gets a brilliant moment to shine when she justifiably lashes into Kimber over using the men in her life to combat her own pain and emptiness. I liked Kimber in “Blu Mondae” but now she’s worse than ever and while she may have her own convictions, Kelly Carlson doesn’t sell it as well as Famke Janssen would’ve done.

    The kidnap attempt to get Matt back was a doomed plan from the start, even with the deprogrammer warning both Sean and Christian that if they fail, the rift between the lads and Matt would grow even wider and guess what? They failed and that rift is now getting wider. Why can’t Matt just wake up? I’d rather suppressive Sean, Christian and Julia than fanatical Scientology. It’s the lesser of two evils in any universe.

    Finally we also get more Sean and Julia drama as the latter discovers a phone bill marked to “1900 555 U Cum” and assumes that Sean is having an affair. He tells her about the phone sex but denies an affair which has Julia promising to leave him if he so much as touches another woman (she won’t be pleased about Monica when she finds out then). For Julia haters out there, this isn’t her acting like a demented shrew but being fairly rational. We also then have her admit that she hasn’t been available, followed by a hilarious offer to buy Sean porn, to which he responds by proposing and her accepting. Yes, people we have wedding bells.

    The wedding in question has all the usual hiccups such as Sean and Julia differing on expense, a rude wedding planner, Sean and Julia arguing over how to handle Matt before Julia offers the olive branch and decides that in order to save their family, they need to work together. If only that sentiment is followed in at least a few episodes this season, I would be one happy viewer. The wedding itself is a low key event at night with no dialogue or Matt but with all the other interesting stuff going on here, the lack of emphasis far from hinders the happy event.

    Also in “Dawn Budge”

    Patients of the week: Aside from Dawn, Mallory, Dwight and James, I don’t recall anyone else.

    Sean (re engagement ring): “What about this one?”

    Christian: “That’s the one they sell to teenagers who knock up their girlfriends and only have their lunch money to spend”.

    Mallory (re navel): “I always thought it was kind of cute”

    Dawn: “How the hell are you going to walk down South Beach in a tube top with that thing? Look Dwight, it’s bigger than your dick”.

    Money Costs: Julia’s engagement: $165,000, Dawn’s lottery win: $318,000,000, James’ blackmail: $475,000, Christian’s services: $550,000 (maybe a bit more). Phone sex bill: $500. I didn’t catch the cost of Matt’s Porsche or Kimber’s sauna.

    Christian: “I thought vampires kept their looks forever?”

    James: “Sometimes we need a little help”.

    Julia (to Sean): “Do you need me to buy you some pornography? What do you like – girl on girl, three ways, interracial couples? At least DVDs are cheaper”.

    No offence but how can anyone sit through Ghost Whisperer? At least they didn’t resort to commenting on Jennifer Love Hewitt’s boobs.

    Dawn: “I thought you said I’d be bruised and sore”

    Christian: “Beauty is pain Dawn, suck it up”.

    Dwight: “This isn’t what it looks like”

    Mallory: “I just wanted to try out my new tities Mama”.

    Did anyone else think that Dawn’s knowledge in Louis the 15th sound as artificial as Kimber being a guru for Matt?

    Julia: “This is not a battle that you’re gonna win”

    Kimber: “Nice ring, looks like it worked on you too”.

    Dawn: “I’ll pay you 100,000 dollars”

    Christian: “I wouldn’t sit in the same toilet as you for a 100 grand”.

    Did anyone find the black on black with Christian’s attire, his apartment and Dawn’s attire a little distracting? Also the cock statue is still there.

    Christian: “You’re a mean and selfish **** Dawn and no amount of money in the world is going to change that”.

    No Liz, Marlowe or Monica this week. There are at least two people from this list I actually missed.

    James (to Christian): “I envy you. The only true joy in life is being in love and having those feelings reciprocated”.

    I’m uncertain of how much time has passed chronology wise since “Shari Noble”.

    Michelle: “I won’t do that anymore”

    James: “Think hard before you turn me down”.

    Standout music: “Money, That’s All I Want” by The Flying Lizards and “Arrabel” by Gotam Project.

    While the themes of this episode may be clichéd and all too obvious, you really can’t deny the irresistible charm that “Dawn Budge” ultimately has. Both Sean and Christian are more likeable here than they have been in previous episodes, the James and Michelle is interesting and Rosie O’Donnell was an absolute riot as the title patient this week. Just don’t try watching certain moments with a straight face.moreless
  • great show. great plot and suspensful

    great show. great plot and suspensful

    great show. great plot and suspensful

    great show. great plot and suspensful

    great show. great plot and suspensful

    great show. great plot and suspensful

    great show. great plot and suspensful

    great show. great plot and suspensful

    great show. great plot and suspensful

    great show. great plot and suspensful

    great show. great plot and suspensful

    great show. great plot and suspensful

    great show. great plot and suspensful

    great show. great plot and suspensful

    great show. great plot and suspensful

    great show. great plot and suspensful

    great show. great plot and suspensful

    great show. great plot and suspensful

    great show. great plot and suspensful

    great show. great plot and suspensful

    great show. great plot and suspensfulmoreless
  • Increased complication to the plot enhance the seasonal direction.

    Money, as the cliché says, change everything. Also it is the root of all evil. While it can give you freedom from a life of back breaking work, the price can be steep. “Mo money, mo problems” as Notorious BIG once mused. Of course, as this is around the complication phase of the season, this episode isn’t going to be about the good part of money. Even when Christian pays off James, it is an effort in vain as she has no intention of letting go of a profitable plastic surgery enterprise.

    Center is the eponymous patient (#9, Rosie O’Donnell). Overlooking the controversy she often sparks since her talk show fizzled, O’Donnell works well as trailer trash that suddenly finds herself disgustingly rich after the Power Ball victory and wants a look that reflects this new found wealth. This lottery win was going to bring bad luck, you don’t need to be a certain castaway to know that. While it may fulfill her wishes initially, this money brought some of her worst traits, like her controlling nature over her deadbeat husband and daughter, to the forefront. Ultimately, it leaves her alone, and now she won’t be able to make the connections she took for granted again without thinking that her wealth had something to do with it.

    From buying an expensive re-wedding ring to make up for his affair with Monica to buying a Porsche for Matt to hiring a guy to abduct and re-program Matt, Sean finds himself opening his wallet wide to keep his family together. Unfortunately for him, he fails to realize that throwing money on the problem isn’t going to make it go away. Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy “thinner thighs” as Budge told Christian.

    Glad they didn’t forget about Sean “following up” on Cindy’s operation. However, this does make Julia sound a little dumb. $500! I’m not sure how much phone sex lines cost, but that has to be a lot of time. And wouldn’t it be easier for him to contact her via her personal phone number to check up? Maybe at this point Julia just wants to believe what she thinks will be best for her.

    Regardless, it results in Julia threatening to leave if Sean strays again. This piece is important because it adds to the stakes of the Monica storyline. While she is absent, we are reminded enough of her to avoid serious problems with this episode. Julia and Sean remarrying is clearly the calm before the storm of Hurricane Monica and wherever Matt’s Scientology takes him.

    Matt’s decision to move to Scientology is motivated largely by his feelings for Kimber (can’t blame him, she’s smoking hot). However, Kimber seems more interested in molding and controlling Matt as her way to deal with the trauma of being helpless to The Carver. Taking Matt out of his home and planting doubt about any of his parents’ concerns shows that. Regardless of the lack of romance, they will likely have sex, albeit in a way where Kimber can have Matt at her mercy.

    Before this episode, they were somewhat ambiguous on their feelings toward Scientology. This episode takes a stance and shows them in a rather unsettling light. The voiceless, uniformed young people hovering around Matt when the re-programmer confronted him were a telling sign.

    It seems a bit unbelievable that Christian fell for Michelle as fast as he did. Yes, Michelle is gorgeous, but up to this episode he seemed only interested in her because of that and not for some deep connection. He’s been carrying a torch for Julia for years, not to mention his recent questioning of his sexuality, and this woman makes him drop it so quickly? If it had been Kimber, it would’ve been more believable as there was history between them.

    Of course, by hiding the truth about James from Sean and their own acts from each other Michelle and Christian find themselves at the mercy of a massive debt which won’t go away with a check or a suitcase filled with cash. As they try to keep James away from their business, they find themselves linked closer to her because of her influence she has via money and incriminating photos. Christian ironically becomes a prostitute to Budge to keep the madam at bay. Michelle, to get what she wanted, sold her soul to a criminal and now has to do horrible things for an indefinite amount of time, as James won’t let her go that easily.

    Although I complained a little bit about the lack of a major revelation with James in the last episode, this one more than made up for it. Despite it being rather obvious in hindsight, it was unexpected to see James coercing Michelle to taking out her clueless John’s kidney. Now they are setting James up to be the major villain this season, like Escobar, Ava or The Carver. Hopefully it’ll be more like the first two and the early part of the last one. I can’t wait until everyone else, especially Liz, finds out the truth.

    This episode, while having a few weak character moments, continues the upward trend of the season. Already the organ thieves’ storyline is playing out very well, and revealing James as the one behind it solidifies her villainy.moreless
  • Money Can't Buy It *SPOILERS*

    Is money the root of all evil, or does it make the world go round? Can money really buy you happiness, or does it just merely rent it for ten minutes? And if everybody truly does have a price, what’s yours? ‘Dawn Budge’ offers some interesting questions, sometimes fudging the answers, but it’s a generally very watchable episode with one hell of a kick at the end. Plus it also contains two of the best guest performances I’ve ever seen.

    On one side, we have Rosie O’Donnell as the titular Mrs. Budge, a large and frankly very common woman from Pensacola who won three-hundred-and-eighty-one MILLION dollars on the Powerball Lottery (an absolutely obscene amount of money, if you ask me) and has come to McNamara/Troy for full body lipo for herself, new breasts for her teenage daughter Mallory (as white trash as her mother) and a penis enlargement for her husband Dwight, offering to pay triple the going rate to have these things done. Dawn’s trashy pretensions, whilst utterly cringeworthy, are nicely observed and her scenes are very well-written and Rosie acts them to the hilt. Christian- in financial straits- offers to help make Dawn over, hair, make-up, clothes, and interior design- all for a price. She accepts and the makeover begins. But when Dawn comes home to find her husband and her daughter in bed together (don’t worry, we’re not in Ava/Adrian territory again; Dwight isn’t Mallory’s father), she decides she wants one more thing from Christian: a ‘revenge screw’. Christian promptly charges her four hundred thousand dollars for the pleasure and a truly hilarious sex scene ensues. But afterwards, she feels worse and as she pays Christian she notes ‘money can’t buy you love’. Not exactly a new observation there, but you can forgive this rather pat conclusion because of the good work that’s gone in before it. At the end, Dawn is left alone, as Dwight and Mallory have headed back to Pensacola, with Dwight observing that Dawn ‘was more fun poor’.

    On the other side, we have yet another steely, subtle and brilliant performance from Jacqueline Bisset as Michelle’s former employer, James. I’m still having issues with the name, but that’s by the by. Christian, having been told the full story by Michelle at the end of ‘Shari Noble’, invites James to dinner in order to tell her to leave Michelle alone. James tells him that Michelle owes her five hundred thousand dollars and Christian says he can’t afford that much. James comes to see Christian at the office later with a little incentive to get the money- photographs of him and Michelle kissing, that she will send to Burt unless Christian coughs up. But, in a rare show of compassion, she offers to drop the price slightly if he’ll give her a hand rejuvenation. As he does it late at night, James divulges a few things: she’s in love with Michelle but the feelings were not reciprocated. Having been in a similar position in real-life, I can truly empathise and, at this point, James does get my sympathy. But that’s the first time and last time she gets it. After Christian sleeps with Dawn Budge, he gets the remainder of James’ money which he gives to her in return for the photographs, the negatives and a promise she’ll get out of his and Michelle’s life for good. James takes the money and bids him farewell. But that’s not the end of it. She pops up in Michelle’s car, scaring the already fragile woman, saying she needs her ‘skills’ again. Seemingly having no option, Michelle is next seen in a bar talking to a guy who’s drinking on his own. So far, so-so; we know she was one of James’ working girls before. But here’s the kick: we then see James going to a hotel room with a cooler box, handing a rubber-gloved Michelle a scalpel and watching as Michelle cuts the unconscious guy’s side open. Yep, James (and, by extension, Michelle) is involved in the organ-smuggling ring that got Liz last episode. How the hell is that going to play out, when that comes to light? How will Christian react? Moreover, how will Liz? A brilliant hook to keep us all dangling.

    The other main storyline involves two ‘couples’: Sean and Julia, and Matt and Kimber. Driving back from the jewelers where Sean is looking for a ring for Julia (more on this in a moment), they see Matt picking up rubbish at the side of the road. Christian freaks out and seems determined to get Matt away from Scientology. His answer? Buy the boy a hundred-thousand dollar Porsche, which Matt initially accepts, until he shows the car to Kimber who promptly sees through what they’ve done, telling Matt they’re trying to bribe him to get away from the church. The relationship between Matt and Kimber is quite a strange one; it’s being painted as a pure mentor-protégé thing from Kimber’s point of view, but it appears that Matt may see it in a slightly more romantic light. After a quick phone-call Kimber, Matt and one of the church members come to the McNamara house and pack up Matt’s stuff, to move him away from ‘repressive personalities’. Sean freaks out at this and so does Julia, squaring up to Kimber and actually showing a bit of spirit for once! Kelly Carlson is great in all of her scenes, delivering some of the more ridiculous lines with utter conviction.

    Personally, it’s not yet clear what the writers’ stance is on Scientology; are they lampooning it or respecting it? There’s been precious little shown regarding the actual beliefs and mechanics of the religion/cult, so it’s difficult to know. That said, it’s clear enough that the characters believe it’s enough of a threat to require some serious action. Sean gets a bit desperate and hires a professional deprogrammer to break the hold that the Scientologists have on Matt. However, the deprogramming attempt goes a little awry as the hired goons attempt to throw him into the back of a van. Matt legs it, they give chase, until Matt teams up with some of his buddies. The deprogrammers then decide not to try it. How this will play out is going to be interesting, too. The deprogrammer warned that if it didn’t work, the rift would widen between them. Well, Matt isn’t present at Julia and Sean’s remarriage, so that’s quite telling.

    The relationship between Sean and Julia also comes under the microscope. Sean wants to ask Julia to marry him again and gets Christian to help him pick out an engagement ring. Christian picks a really expensive ring, which Sean baulks at- until Christian reminds him that he screwed Monica Wilder. That night, he mentions buying Matt a car when Julia asks him flat-out if he’s having an affair, showing him phone records that have sex lines on them. He initially tries to bluster his way out of it, saying he was just checking up on a patient (Cindy Plumb from the season opener), but then admits the true reason for the calls. Julia says she can almost understand it but again makes it clear that she’ll leave if she ever finds out he’s cheated on her. Whoops, little late for that; the psycho night-nurse was two episodes ago. Then she quite calmly asks if he wants her to buy him some porn! They dissolve into giggles over this, Sean presents her with the fancy ring and she agrees to remarry him. Both Dylan Walsh and Joely Richardson are great in this scene, their banter is well-written and their chemistry is obvious.

    During a meeting with a crashingly rude wedding planner (who suggests that Julia might want to lose a bit of weight to get into a gown), Sean plans a very ostentatious and expensive wedding with the ceremony at a cathedral and a reception for over three hundred people. When Matt comes in to move his stuff out, Julia goes nuts when she realises Sean spent all that money on a Porsche without telling her. It looks like they’ve reached an impasse and Sean’s about to move out again, but Julia relents and says that they need to be together for the family. Eventually, their remarriage is held quietly with little fuss, just the family and Christian.

    The general moral of the episode appears to be that money is no substitute for love. Well, goodness. I’d never guess that. I took that to be one of the generally accepted facts of the universe. But then, some people don’t. And it’s interesting to see the journeys the characters go on to realise that fact. Whilst the episode is a little uneven, some parts are horribly clichéd whilst others really sparkle with a bit of originality (a bouquet and a brickbat for credited writer Hank Chilton for this), it’s nonetheless a good, strong episode in its own right. No Liz, sadly, but then having a kidney removed does take a toll. Some more parts of the season arc are now nicely in place; let’s sit back and watch it unfold.moreless
Adria Dawn

Adria Dawn


Guest Star

Rhett Giles

Rhett Giles

Lonely Businessman

Guest Star

Randee Heller

Randee Heller


Guest Star

Sanaa Lathan

Sanaa Lathan

Michelle Landau

Recurring Role

Kelsey Lynn Batelaan

Kelsey Lynn Batelaan

Annie McNamara

Recurring Role

Jacqueline Bisset

Jacqueline Bisset

James LeBeau

Recurring Role

Trivia, Notes, Quotes and Allusions


  • TRIVIA (3)

    • Julia confronts Sean about calling a sex line. Sean then explains about giving a phone sex operator a voice-lift; this was the featured procedure in Season 4 opener Cindy Plumb.

    • When Sean and Christian are talking about Matt picking up rubbish, Sean says 'at least he's not dating Nazis or transsexuals anymore', referring to Matt's previous girlfriends- white supremacist Ariel (Brittany Snow, Season 3) and secret transsexual Ava (Famke Janssen, Season 2).

    • Dawn mentions that she was on Maury after she won the Powerball lottery. Maury has never had a show featuring lotto winners.

  • QUOTES (19)

    • (when Michelle gets in her car, James is in there waiting for her)
      Michelle: Get out of my goddamn car and out of my life! I'm tired of your threats.
      James: You're right, I should take it up with Christian. Blackmail him. Of course, he's such a strong personality, he'll probably straight to your husband and confess all, cut me off at the pass. You know how men are.
      Michelle: What do you want? More money?
      James: I don't want money. I want your skills.
      Michelle: No. I won't do that any more.
      James: Think hard before you turn me down.
      Michelle: Please! You told me I'd never have to do that again.
      James: I'm short on girls. You're the best. I'm sorry.

    • (after her 'revenge screw' with Christian)
      Dawn Budge: I thought it would be more fulfilling, something out of a movie. Fireworks, flowers. Frankly, I only did it so Dwight would get jealous and wise up. Right now, I feel worse than I did before.
      Christian: That's because deep inside you know you're responsible for driving your husband and your daughter into bed together.
      Dawn Budge: I'm responsible? I gave those two every goddamn thing they ever wanted. (writes the check)
      Christian: You buy them everything you want. You're a mean and selfish bitch, Dawn, and no money in the world is gonna change that.
      Dawn Budge: They why'd you help me with my clothes? My look? Why'd you have sex with me?
      Christian: Because I needed the money, for somebody I think I'm in love with.
      Dawn Budge: Well, take it from me, Doc, money can't buy you love. (throws the check on the bed) Thinner thighs? Absolutely.

    • (Christian finds Dawn Budge lying on his bed)
      Christian: What are you doing, Dawn?
      Dawn Budge: I wanna buy one more thing, Dr. Troy. A night with you. I need Dwight to know he can't do what he did without consequences. Basically, I want a revenge screw.
      Christian: Revenge is a dish best served cold. You need to take a deep breath.
      Dawn Budge: I will pay you a hundred thousand dollars.
      Christian: I wouldn't sit on the same toilet seat as you for a hundred grand.
      Dawn Budge: (laughs; takes a check book from her bra-strap) Name your price, sexy man.
      Christian: Four hundred thousand bucks gets you ten minutes. Strictly missionary, nothing kinky.
      Dawn Budge I'll throw in an extra twenty if we can do it on the rug.

    • (on seeing her daughter Mallory having sex with her husband Dwight)
      Dawn Budge: Well, isn't this rich? Even richer than me.

    • (Late at night, Christian does James' hand rejuvenation)
      James: At this hour, I should be curling up under goose-down, not slinking around your office like some phantom pariah.
      Christian: I'm doing this after hours because I don't want Michelle to know. You deal with me now.
      James: You're not going to tell her the sacrifices you're making on her behalf? And they say chivalry is dead.
      Christian: She's fragile. She already lives with too many lies; she doesn't need to cover up another one.
      James: I'm not the monster you think I am. I have feelings for Michelle too, deep feelings. You and I, we're the same.
      Christian: I'm not a lesbian.
      James: I've only been with one woman, one time. Michelle. I was in love with her and the feelings were not returned. So, you understand, it's hard for me to just walk away.
      Christian: (about her rejuvenated hands) How do they feel?
      James: Clean. Untouched by time. If only you could do the same with my heart.

    • (Kimber helps Matt move out of the McNamara house)
      Kimber: Matt thinks that it would be easier if he didn't communicate with you guys right now.
      Sean: Matt, this isn't what you need. These people don't care about you.
      Kimber: Don't you get it, Sean? You can't bribe him into quitting Scientology with a hundred-thousand dollar Porsche.
      Julia: You gave him a Porsche?
      Sean: I'm trying to do everything I can to keep this family together!
      Matt: Kimber was right. You don't care about me. You and Christian just did what you always do; you use money as a replacement for love.
      Julia: Sweetie, I …
      Matt: I'm sorry, Mom, I just can't stay here and be repressed.
      (Matt leaves)
      Julia: How many more men in this family do you have to corrupt, Kimber, to ease your own pain? First Christian, then Sean, now my son? This is not a battle you are going to win!
      Kimber: Nice ring. Looks like it worked on you too.

    • (Matt shows Kimber the Porsche Sean and Christian bought for him)
      Matt: You know what you said about havingness the other day? I think mine just manifested itself, so I embraced it.
      Kimber: Well, havingness is the feeling that you deserve material things, so why do you deserve this Porsche?
      Matt: My dads gave it to me for doing better in school.
      Kimber: Don't be naïve, Matt. Christian and Sean are suppressive people. You know that.
      Matt: Yeah, but they're not influencing me.
      Kimber: Oh, they're just bribing you? They're buying your affection, to manipulate you into doing what they want and what they want is for you to leave the church, to choose materialism you're not ready for over your obligation to yourself and your spiritual growth. Look at it, it's clear! I'm sorry, I can't be a part of this.

    • (Dawn is about to have liposuction)
      Dawn Budge: How long is this gonna lay me up, Dr. Troy?
      Christian: Well, you'll be badly bruised and feel like you got hit by a truck, but you'll be on your feet again tomorrow.
      Dawn Budge: Good. I can't wait to go buy out all the size 10s down at the Maxx. Y'know, TJ?
      Christian: Yeah. You know, I can vacuum you down to a skeleton, Dawn, but I can't suck out the white trash, now, can I? You want pro-class, you're gonna need a new face and wardrobe to go with your new body.
      Dawn Budge: Are you gay, Dr. Troy?
      Christian: No, but for a price, I will play Queer Eye for you.
      Dawn Budge: How much?
      Christian: Fifty thousand bucks will get you the Christian Troy treatment at the best salons and boutiques in Miami.
      Dawn Budge: I'm in.
      Christian: Great. We start tomorrow.
      Dawn Budge: I thought you said I'd be bruised and sore.
      Christian: Beauty is pain, Dawn. Suck it up.

    • Julia: You should know something, though. We barely made it through Megan. If I ever find out you have touched another woman, I'm leaving. I'm gone.
      Sean: That won't happen. I promise.
      Julia: Do you need me to buy you some pornography? What do you like? Girl-on-girl? Threeways? Interracial couples? (she and Sean start laughing) Which DVDs are cheaper?

    • James: Your first payment is due on Friday. One hundred thousand.
      Christian: I'm not paying you a cent. Go spread your herpes somewhere else.
      James: I didn't know that Michelle was ready for your relationship to come out of the closet.
      Christian: If you tell Burt Landau or anyone…
      James: (throwing an envelope to him) I prefer pictures over talk.
      (Christian opens the envelope to see pictures of him and Michelle kissing)
      Christian: Shit. Look, I wasn't kidding when I said I wasn't liquid right now. I just redid my apartment, spent two hundred thousand dollars on a new car, bought my son a car…
      James: Then I have a proposition for you that might ease your pain. I'll knock down your first payment to something more manageable, say seventy-five thousand, if you throw in a hand-job. (off Christian's look) Don't be vulgar. I want a hand rejuvenation.
      Christian: I thought vampires kept their looks forever.
      James: Sometimes we need a little help.
      Christian: You know, once I get you on the table, any number of accidents could occur.
      James: But that's not going to happen. Or those photos? They will reach their destination.

    • Dawn Budge: It is time my body matched my bank account.
      Mallory Budge: If that's what you're after, hell, you'd been skinny your whole life. She was only making fifteen grand down at the Jiffy Lube.
      Dawn Budge: Can you sew her mouth shut? I mean, literally. Can you put a zipper on there? Cos, I swear to you, I will do it!
      Sean: Is there something you're interested in having done, Mallory?
      Mallory Budge: I want some new tits. Big ones.
      Dawn Budge: Finally, something we agree on. I mean, she's gotta do something about those mosquito bites. She's never gonna get a man and move the hell outta my house. While you're in there, do somethin' about her belly-button. It's disgusting. Show the doctors, Mallory.
      Mallory Budge: I always thought it was kinda cute. (Mallory lifts up her T-shirt to show a protruding belly-button)
      Dawn Budge: How the hell you gonna walk around South Beach in a tube-top? Look, Dwight, it's bigger than your penis.
      Sean: Mr. Budge, we haven't heard much from you. Do you think your daughter should…
      Dawn Budge: Excuse me. Dwight is my second husband. He is not Mallory's father. He is here because he would like a bigger dick. And those pumps? A total waste of money.

    • Sean: Tell us what you don't like about yourself.
      Dawn Budge: Nothin' money can't buy. I have a few extra layers on my pound cake, that's where you come in.
      Christian: So you'd like some liposuction, Mrs. Budge?
      Dawn Budge: I mean, all over. Even behind my ears.

    • Matt: What kind of man you looking for this time around?
      Kimber: Well… I want someone with havingness.
      Matt: What's 'havingness'?
      Kimber: It's self-respect, and potential, and the ability to communicate with the things, the possessions that come to you as a result of the inner work that you're doing.

    • (Matt and Kimber are in a sauna together)
      Kimber: Sweating in here is really going to go a long way towards cleansing your body of all the poisons you've ingested. You've been taking your vitamins and minerals?
      Matt: It's not like I was a drug addict, Kimber. I just took the anti-depressants the shrink gave me.
      Kimber: We're all addicts, Matt, even without the poisons of prescription drugs. The average person's thinking and awareness is clouded by thousands of chemicals that are put in our food and in our drinking water.

    • (Sean and Christian are looking at engagement rings, for Sean to give to Julia)
      Sean: What about this one? (points to one ring)
      Christian: That's the one they sell to teenagers who knock up their girlfriends and only have their lunch money to spend. (To the Saleswoman) We'd like to take a look at that one (taps the counter) right there, thank you.
      Saleswoman: You have exquisite taste. (Takes the ring out) This is a four-carat emerald-cut diamond set in platinum, with four one-carat diamond beget accents, all of extreme high clarity and color. (hands the ring to Sean)
      Sean: It's beautiful. What's it go for?
      Saleswoman: One hundred and sixty-five thousand
      Sean: It's a little out of my range (hands the ring back).
      Christian: (to the Saleswoman) Would you excuse us for a moment, please? (taking Sean to one side) You banged the night-nurse, Sean.
      Sean: (turning back to the Saleswoman) I'll take it.

    • James: She belongs to me.
      Christian: How much does she still owe you?
      James: The price is five hundred thousand.
      Christian: That's insane. You're nothing but a street pimp.
      James: Far from it. My girls are intelligent, sophisticated women. I just help them to get a little more out of life than they would on their own. My deal with Michelle was very clear. I send her to med school; she gives me four years of service. She deserted me after less than two years. The loss of income was substantial.
      Christian: Perhaps, but nothing approaching five hundred k.
      James: She's not worth that much to you? Do you love her?
      (cut to Christian lying in bed alone, watching as Michelle leaves his apartment)
      Christian: I don't have that kind of liquidity right now.
      James: Then I suggest you melt some of your money. Everyone has a price. Even you.

    • Christian: (after they have made love) I want you to stay.
      Michelle: You know I can't do that, Christian. If I'm late, Burt will suspect something. I'm already living one lie. I can't live with another.
      Christian: Then turn one lie into the truth. Be with me.

    • (Christian and James have dinner)
      Christian: The jig is up, sweetheart. It's time to take your little whore and pony show to a different city. Michelle told me about your escort ring.
      James: We haven't even ordered the wine yet, Dr. Troy. Shall we share a bottle of Pinot Noir? I know we both enjoy the… darker varietals.

    • Dawn: I look gorgeous; almost as gorgeous as my house. My very own McMansion, just like I always dreamed. Don't you just love the place?
      Christian: Looks like Liberace took a dump in here.

  • NOTES (4)

    • Original International Air Dates:
      Czech Republic: December 17, 2008 on TV Nova

    • Music featured in the episode:
      "Unfinished Symphony" by Schubert (Sean picks a wedding ring for Julia)
      "Bitch" by Rinôçérôse (Christian and Sean return to the office; Matt and Kimber talk with each other in the sauna)
      "Money (That's What I Want)" by The Flying Lizards (Dawn gets prepped for surgery)
      "Arrabal" by Gotan Project (Christian comes to an understanding with James over Michelle during her procedure)
      "Mes Vacançes a Rio" by Rinôçérôse (Dawn shows up at Christian's apartment)
      "Dawn (Go Away)" by The Four Seasons (Dawn pays Christian for have sex with her)
      "Gimme Shelter" by The Rolling Stones (Michelle picks up a lonely business man at a hotel bar)

    • Although listed in the opening credits, Roma Maffia does not appear in this episode.

    • Jacqueline Bisset (James), Rosie O'Donnell (Dawn) and Sanaa Lathan (Michelle) were credited as "Special Guest Stars". At the same time, O'Donnell received the "With" credit, and Lathan received the "And" credit.


    • Maury Povich is an American TV talk show personality who currently hosts his self-titled talk show Maury which has earned him national recognition due to the paternity tests that are often aired.

    • When Dawn tells Sean and Christian about buying her lottery tickets, she says that Dwight and Mallory stayed home to watch a re-run of the Ghost Whisperer and Dwight answered that it was the second part of a two-parter. Ghost Whisperer is a show broadcast on CBS about a young woman- played by Jennifer Love Hewitt- who can communicate with earthbound spirits and help them. The episode he was talking about was "The One" from the first season.

    • When Christian offers to help Dawn, he says for a price he'll go 'Queer Eye' on her. This refers to the lifestyle show Queer Eye For The Straight Guy where a team of five gay men help to transform every aspect of a straight man's life, from grooming to interior design.

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