Julia confronts Sean about calling a sex line. Sean then explains about giving a phone sex operator a voice-lift; this was the featured procedure in Season 4 opener Cindy Plumb.
When Sean and Christian are talking about Matt picking up rubbish, Sean says 'at least he's not dating Nazis or transsexuals anymore', referring to Matt's previous girlfriends- white supremacist Ariel (Brittany Snow, Season 3) and secret transsexual Ava (Famke Janssen, Season 2).
Dawn mentions that she was on Maury after she won the Powerball lottery. Maury has never had a show featuring lotto winners.
(when Michelle gets in her car, James is in there waiting for her)
Michelle: Get out of my goddamn car and out of my life! I'm tired of your threats.
James: You're right, I should take it up with Christian. Blackmail him. Of course, he's such a strong personality, he'll probably straight to your husband and confess all, cut me off at the pass. You know how men are.
Michelle: What do you want? More money?
James: I don't want money. I want your skills.
Michelle: No. I won't do that any more.
James: Think hard before you turn me down.
Michelle: Please! You told me I'd never have to do that again.
James: I'm short on girls. You're the best. I'm sorry.
(after her 'revenge screw' with Christian)
Dawn Budge: I thought it would be more fulfilling, something out of a movie. Fireworks, flowers. Frankly, I only did it so Dwight would get jealous and wise up. Right now, I feel worse than I did before.
Christian: That's because deep inside you know you're responsible for driving your husband and your daughter into bed together.
Dawn Budge: I'm responsible? I gave those two every goddamn thing they ever wanted. (writes the check)
Christian: You buy them everything you want. You're a mean and selfish bitch, Dawn, and no money in the world is gonna change that.
Dawn Budge: They why'd you help me with my clothes? My look? Why'd you have sex with me?
Christian: Because I needed the money, for somebody I think I'm in love with.
Dawn Budge: Well, take it from me, Doc, money can't buy you love. (throws the check on the bed) Thinner thighs? Absolutely.
(Christian finds Dawn Budge lying on his bed)
Christian: What are you doing, Dawn?
Dawn Budge: I wanna buy one more thing, Dr. Troy. A night with you. I need Dwight to know he can't do what he did without consequences. Basically, I want a revenge screw.
Christian: Revenge is a dish best served cold. You need to take a deep breath.
Dawn Budge: I will pay you a hundred thousand dollars.
Christian: I wouldn't sit on the same toilet seat as you for a hundred grand.
Dawn Budge: (laughs; takes a check book from her bra-strap) Name your price, sexy man.
Christian: Four hundred thousand bucks gets you ten minutes. Strictly missionary, nothing kinky.
Dawn Budge I'll throw in an extra twenty if we can do it on the rug.
(on seeing her daughter Mallory having sex with her husband Dwight)
Dawn Budge: Well, isn't this rich? Even richer than me.
(Late at night, Christian does James' hand rejuvenation)
James: At this hour, I should be curling up under goose-down, not slinking around your office like some phantom pariah.
Christian: I'm doing this after hours because I don't want Michelle to know. You deal with me now.
James: You're not going to tell her the sacrifices you're making on her behalf? And they say chivalry is dead.
Christian: She's fragile. She already lives with too many lies; she doesn't need to cover up another one.
James: I'm not the monster you think I am. I have feelings for Michelle too, deep feelings. You and I, we're the same.
Christian: I'm not a lesbian.
James: I've only been with one woman, one time. Michelle. I was in love with her and the feelings were not returned. So, you understand, it's hard for me to just walk away.
Christian: (about her rejuvenated hands) How do they feel?
James: Clean. Untouched by time. If only you could do the same with my heart.
(Kimber helps Matt move out of the McNamara house)
Kimber: Matt thinks that it would be easier if he didn't communicate with you guys right now.
Sean: Matt, this isn't what you need. These people don't care about you.
Kimber: Don't you get it, Sean? You can't bribe him into quitting Scientology with a hundred-thousand dollar Porsche.
Julia: You gave him a Porsche?
Sean: I'm trying to do everything I can to keep this family together!
Matt: Kimber was right. You don't care about me. You and Christian just did what you always do; you use money as a replacement for love.
Julia: Sweetie, I …
Matt: I'm sorry, Mom, I just can't stay here and be repressed.
Julia: How many more men in this family do you have to corrupt, Kimber, to ease your own pain? First Christian, then Sean, now my son? This is not a battle you are going to win!
Kimber: Nice ring. Looks like it worked on you too.
(Matt shows Kimber the Porsche Sean and Christian bought for him)
Matt: You know what you said about havingness the other day? I think mine just manifested itself, so I embraced it.
Kimber: Well, havingness is the feeling that you deserve material things, so why do you deserve this Porsche?
Matt: My dads gave it to me for doing better in school.
Kimber: Don't be naïve, Matt. Christian and Sean are suppressive people. You know that.
Matt: Yeah, but they're not influencing me.
Kimber: Oh, they're just bribing you? They're buying your affection, to manipulate you into doing what they want and what they want is for you to leave the church, to choose materialism you're not ready for over your obligation to yourself and your spiritual growth. Look at it, it's clear! I'm sorry, I can't be a part of this.
(Dawn is about to have liposuction)
Dawn Budge: How long is this gonna lay me up, Dr. Troy?
Christian: Well, you'll be badly bruised and feel like you got hit by a truck, but you'll be on your feet again tomorrow.
Dawn Budge: Good. I can't wait to go buy out all the size 10s down at the Maxx. Y'know, TJ?
Christian: Yeah. You know, I can vacuum you down to a skeleton, Dawn, but I can't suck out the white trash, now, can I? You want pro-class, you're gonna need a new face and wardrobe to go with your new body.
Dawn Budge: Are you gay, Dr. Troy?
Christian: No, but for a price, I will play Queer Eye for you.
Dawn Budge: How much?
Christian: Fifty thousand bucks will get you the Christian Troy treatment at the best salons and boutiques in Miami.
Dawn Budge: I'm in.
Christian: Great. We start tomorrow.
Dawn Budge: I thought you said I'd be bruised and sore.
Christian: Beauty is pain, Dawn. Suck it up.
Julia: You should know something, though. We barely made it through Megan. If I ever find out you have touched another woman, I'm leaving. I'm gone.
Sean: That won't happen. I promise.
Julia: Do you need me to buy you some pornography? What do you like? Girl-on-girl? Threeways? Interracial couples? (she and Sean start laughing) Which DVDs are cheaper?
James: Your first payment is due on Friday. One hundred thousand.
Christian: I'm not paying you a cent. Go spread your herpes somewhere else.
James: I didn't know that Michelle was ready for your relationship to come out of the closet.
Christian: If you tell Burt Landau or anyone…
James: (throwing an envelope to him) I prefer pictures over talk.
(Christian opens the envelope to see pictures of him and Michelle kissing)
Christian: Shit. Look, I wasn't kidding when I said I wasn't liquid right now. I just redid my apartment, spent two hundred thousand dollars on a new car, bought my son a car…
James: Then I have a proposition for you that might ease your pain. I'll knock down your first payment to something more manageable, say seventy-five thousand, if you throw in a hand-job. (off Christian's look) Don't be vulgar. I want a hand rejuvenation.
Christian: I thought vampires kept their looks forever.
James: Sometimes we need a little help.
Christian: You know, once I get you on the table, any number of accidents could occur.
James: But that's not going to happen. Or those photos? They will reach their destination.
Dawn Budge: It is time my body matched my bank account.
Mallory Budge: If that's what you're after, hell, you'd been skinny your whole life. She was only making fifteen grand down at the Jiffy Lube.
Dawn Budge: Can you sew her mouth shut? I mean, literally. Can you put a zipper on there? Cos, I swear to you, I will do it!
Sean: Is there something you're interested in having done, Mallory?
Mallory Budge: I want some new tits. Big ones.
Dawn Budge: Finally, something we agree on. I mean, she's gotta do something about those mosquito bites. She's never gonna get a man and move the hell outta my house. While you're in there, do somethin' about her belly-button. It's disgusting. Show the doctors, Mallory.
Mallory Budge: I always thought it was kinda cute. (Mallory lifts up her T-shirt to show a protruding belly-button)
Dawn Budge: How the hell you gonna walk around South Beach in a tube-top? Look, Dwight, it's bigger than your penis.
Sean: Mr. Budge, we haven't heard much from you. Do you think your daughter should…
Dawn Budge: Excuse me. Dwight is my second husband. He is not Mallory's father. He is here because he would like a bigger dick. And those pumps? A total waste of money.
Sean: Tell us what you don't like about yourself.
Dawn Budge: Nothin' money can't buy. I have a few extra layers on my pound cake, that's where you come in.
Christian: So you'd like some liposuction, Mrs. Budge?
Dawn Budge: I mean, all over. Even behind my ears.
Matt: What kind of man you looking for this time around?
Kimber: Well… I want someone with havingness.
Matt: What's 'havingness'?
Kimber: It's self-respect, and potential, and the ability to communicate with the things, the possessions that come to you as a result of the inner work that you're doing.
(Matt and Kimber are in a sauna together)
Kimber: Sweating in here is really going to go a long way towards cleansing your body of all the poisons you've ingested. You've been taking your vitamins and minerals?
Matt: It's not like I was a drug addict, Kimber. I just took the anti-depressants the shrink gave me.
Kimber: We're all addicts, Matt, even without the poisons of prescription drugs. The average person's thinking and awareness is clouded by thousands of chemicals that are put in our food and in our drinking water.
(Sean and Christian are looking at engagement rings, for Sean to give to Julia)
Sean: What about this one? (points to one ring)
Christian: That's the one they sell to teenagers who knock up their girlfriends and only have their lunch money to spend. (To the Saleswoman) We'd like to take a look at that one (taps the counter) right there, thank you.
Saleswoman: You have exquisite taste. (Takes the ring out) This is a four-carat emerald-cut diamond set in platinum, with four one-carat diamond beget accents, all of extreme high clarity and color. (hands the ring to Sean)
Sean: It's beautiful. What's it go for?
Saleswoman: One hundred and sixty-five thousand
Sean: It's a little out of my range (hands the ring back).
Christian: (to the Saleswoman) Would you excuse us for a moment, please? (taking Sean to one side) You banged the night-nurse, Sean.
Sean: (turning back to the Saleswoman) I'll take it.
James: She belongs to me.
Christian: How much does she still owe you?
James: The price is five hundred thousand.
Christian: That's insane. You're nothing but a street pimp.
James: Far from it. My girls are intelligent, sophisticated women. I just help them to get a little more out of life than they would on their own. My deal with Michelle was very clear. I send her to med school; she gives me four years of service. She deserted me after less than two years. The loss of income was substantial.
Christian: Perhaps, but nothing approaching five hundred k.
James: She's not worth that much to you? Do you love her?
(cut to Christian lying in bed alone, watching as Michelle leaves his apartment)
Christian: I don't have that kind of liquidity right now.
James: Then I suggest you melt some of your money. Everyone has a price. Even you.
Christian: (after they have made love) I want you to stay.
Michelle: You know I can't do that, Christian. If I'm late, Burt will suspect something. I'm already living one lie. I can't live with another.
Christian: Then turn one lie into the truth. Be with me.
(Christian and James have dinner)
Christian: The jig is up, sweetheart. It's time to take your little whore and pony show to a different city. Michelle told me about your escort ring.
James: We haven't even ordered the wine yet, Dr. Troy. Shall we share a bottle of Pinot Noir? I know we both enjoy the… darker varietals.
Dawn: I look gorgeous; almost as gorgeous as my house. My very own McMansion, just like I always dreamed. Don't you just love the place?
Christian: Looks like Liberace took a dump in here.
Original International Air Dates:
Czech Republic: December 17, 2008 on TV Nova
Music featured in the episode:
"Unfinished Symphony" by Schubert (Sean picks a wedding ring for Julia)
"Bitch" by Rinôçérôse (Christian and Sean return to the office; Matt and Kimber talk with each other in the sauna)
"Money (That's What I Want)" by The Flying Lizards (Dawn gets prepped for surgery)
"Arrabal" by Gotan Project (Christian comes to an understanding with James over Michelle during her procedure)
"Mes Vacançes a Rio" by Rinôçérôse (Dawn shows up at Christian's apartment)
"Dawn (Go Away)" by The Four Seasons (Dawn pays Christian for have sex with her)
"Gimme Shelter" by The Rolling Stones (Michelle picks up a lonely business man at a hotel bar)
Although listed in the opening credits, Roma Maffia does not appear in this episode.
Jacqueline Bisset (James), Rosie O'Donnell (Dawn) and Sanaa Lathan (Michelle) were credited as "Special Guest Stars". At the same time, O'Donnell received the "With" credit, and Lathan received the "And" credit.
Maury Povich is an American TV talk show personality who currently hosts his self-titled talk show Maury which has earned him national recognition due to the paternity tests that are often aired.
When Dawn tells Sean and Christian about buying her lottery tickets, she says that Dwight and Mallory stayed home to watch a re-run of the Ghost Whisperer and Dwight answered that it was the second part of a two-parter. Ghost Whisperer is a show broadcast on CBS about a young woman- played by Jennifer Love Hewitt- who can communicate with earthbound spirits and help them. The episode he was talking about was "The One" from the first season.
When Christian offers to help Dawn, he says for a price he'll go 'Queer Eye' on her. This refers to the lifestyle show Queer Eye For The Straight Guy where a team of five gay men help to transform every aspect of a straight man's life, from grooming to interior design.