Sean: What's happened to you?
Matt: Well, let's see. In the past couple of months, I found out that my dad's best friend is my real dad. My old dad beat the crap out of my mom and threw her out of the house. My parents ruined my relationship with the only woman I've ever loved and then let it slip that not only was she a man but that one of them slept with her. Is that enough? Or should I go on?